Drive me Wild > Stiles Stilinski fan fic

Chapter 20 - The Past of Blue Eyes

The night was somber after that, Stiles drove Lydia home, there wasn't much conversation in the car. I watched the trees go by, my mind empty as Stiles drove us home. I hadn't realised until we pull up on Stiles' driveway, that he hadn't even turned the radio on.

"Thanks", I said softly. I unplugged my seatbelt and moved my hand to the door handle until I felt Stiles lean over me and stop my hand from opening the door. Stiles being so close to me, made my cheeks burn. I could feel them turning a crimson colour.

He looked up at me, a concerned look formed on his face."Wait". He leant back in his seat, inhaled deeply and kept his gaze on me. "Are you okay? You haven't said a word since we left Derek's".

I twirled my necklace between my fingers, a nervous trait I have. I focused my eyes downwards, looking at the floor of the jeep. "I'm okay".

"You don't seem it. A lot has happened tonight, it's okay not to be okay".

A feeling of nausea flowed through my body as I thought about Boyd. Seeing his face in my mind, thinking about how someone you used to see walking the hallways, hanging out with Isaac and being in your classes, is now gone. I will never see him again, I know I wasn't close to Boyd but it hurts still, He didn't deserve this. Watching him laying there, seeing the people who cared about him mourn over him, you put yourself in that position. This is a dangerous world, I hope to never be in Cora's or Isaac's or Derek's positions tonight. I hope I don't lose someone so close to me. Stiles firmly placed his hand on my shoulder, shaking me a little as I was lost in my thoughts. "Emily?"

I snapped out of my thoughts, Stiles bringing me back to reality. My eyes fell upon Stiles' face, his eyes twinkled with sadness. He was worried about me, my eyes began to sting and my nose twitched as I broke. "You're right, I'm not okay". I cried.

"I know", Stiles wrapped his arms gently around my head and pulled me into his chest. "You don't have to act like you're not okay around me".

Tears fell from my eyes and onto Stiles' shirt. "I just wanted to be strong and brave for everyone".

"Sometimes telling people you're not okay is being strong and brave".

I cried harder as he was right, I had been so hard on myself and seeing things so wrongly. Emotions are weakness' they are what make us who we are, they make us strong. We are nothing without our emotions and it broke my heart that I only realised this now.

"You're okay Emily, I know you're not used to this world and the consequences it causes. I wish I could say it gets easier but it doesn't but feeling this emotions are necessary to survive it. It doesn't help having anxiety eh? But we are in this together and you always have me whenever you feel anxious or sad".

I pulled Stiles tighter into me, I have never had someone care for me so much. Sure my family love and care for me, they just don't always show it. To have someone outright say these things to me, my heart felt overwhelmed. "Thank you Stiles, I think I struggle because no one has ever been there for me before". I said breathily as I carried on crying into the poor boys chest.

"Well now you have me", he rubbed his head against my head, brushing my hair. "And Lydia and Scott and Allison. You have us all and we all care about you".

Hearing Stiles say that I have him, made me smile slightly. I felt my crush on him growing stronger, I wonder if he felt the same? This probably isn't the best time to think about that. "I really appreciate having you guys".

"We know".

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It had been a few days since Boyd's death, we didn't speak about it. My sadness had turned to hatred for the alpha pack. I glared as the twins stalked the halls, I almost wanted them to say something to me or look back at me so I could just hurl insults at them. Derek had been missing for a week, no one knows where he was or when he was going to return. It was a Sunday, I was woken up by my dad playing music loudly as he cleaned the house. I felt tired, so I decided to have a cold shower to fully wake myself up. I didn't expect to have an exciting day today, that was until Stiles knocked at my door.