torrent | shoto todoroki

八 | depression

THE TRAIN WAS LOUD, unbelievably loud. The humming of the tracks and the occasional rattling of metal is what kept Shoto awake. Sometimes he'd have to put his head down and clamp his hands over his ears. He knew he'd gain incredulous looks for it, but he couldn't help it. He didn't want to be here.

He squeezed his eyes shut, feeling the rocking come to a stop. He was only here because Yaoyorozu insisted that everyone come to her mansion after school. Todoroki, of course, had chosen a seat away from the others. He didn't want to be a burden. Yet, he acted normally, pursing his lips with a near-smile as he gazed at his classmates.

However, no matter how many times he looked away, his heterochromatic orbs would always clash with a pair of carmine ones; ones that would urge him to turn his head and tuck his tail between his legs before making a run for it. And Todoroki did that every time. He'd tuck his tail in between his pathetic legs and sprint till he got 'home'.

Soon enough, the train came to a stop and the chirpy voice of the black-haired girl rang out again. She smiled sweetly, "It's this way!" They departed from the train and onto the train station and made quick work to get to Yaomomo's limousine, one that she was reluctant to get in order to seem more 'normal'.

However, Todoroki didn't bat an eye, smiling slightly at his friends before commenting on how the light in the vehicle was bright. He didn't know how he did it. How it felt so normal. If he was this great at lying, he should become an actor; if he lives that long anyway. He held back a bitter smile at his internal joke, looking out the window instead.

They arrived at her house and Todoroki wasn't particularly surprised at the fact that maids and butlers were quick to take their things and store them elsewhere. His parents didn't rely on them, but Yaomomo's riches were clear as day. "Whoa, this is so cool!" Denki commented as everyone wandered around the house for a bit.

"Is it really? I'm glad you like it, Kaminari-san." Yaomomo smiled sweetly as the others commented about the architecture of the house and even the 'cute curtains' that hung from the window. Albeit the fact that they wouldn't stop talking about it, Todoroki couldn't really see it. Everyone trailed over to the table as Yaomomo exclaimed.

"Dinner should be ready so feel free to take a seat!"

Needless to say, everyone in the class took a seat pretty quickly, already beginning to talk about how good the food looked. Todoroki didn't really care for the pork cutlets or the spicy ramen that was set aside for Bakugo, his eyes locked onto some cold soba that sat in the middle of the table. Is that for me? 

He looked up, his eyes locking with Yaomomo's dark ones. She smiled kindly at him, nodding reassuringly as if answering his question. He took the bowl, serving himself some of it as he poked at the food with his chopsticks. Todoroki didn't want to feel rude and refuse the meal, but at the same time, he didn't feel like he deserved this kind of hospitality.

He poked at his food, listening in on the conversation of others. Shoto slurped the soba silently, but suddenly jolted up, his knee hitting the bottom of the table at the sound of a distant rumbling. He looked behind him, seeing beyond the windows and into something bright. It was filled with waves, colored a light teal, and bubbles surfaced to its top.

A shiver ran through him as his eyes widened at the sight of it.

"Ah, hurry up, Kirishima! I want to try Yaomomo's new pool. . . " Denki's excitement faltered as his eyes landed on Todoroki, everyone else looking at him studiously. Shoto snapped awake again, his eyes locking with Bakugo's briefly before he gazed at everyone else. "I'm fine, don't be worried about me." He shook his head quietly, going back to his food.

There was a moment of tense silence before everyone resumed what they were doing, the chatter starting up again as Todoroki blinked at his food. The jets, the splashes, the yells, the sounds. . . Todoroki put his head in his hands, feeling choked up and hot in his blazer all of a sudden as he stared down at his own lap.

"Todoroki-san?" Yaoyorozu's soft voice broke his spiral as he looked up.

"S-Sorry. I think I'm going to go take a walk," A wave of nausea hit him as he quickly stumbled out of the dining room after wiping his hands on the fancy handkerchief. He made his way outside, managing to get beyond the front door of her house and outside. The fresh air suddenly felt so relieving, his head tilting up as he took deep breaths of it.

I don't want to have a panic attack at her house of all places. He thought to himself, scolding himself for making such a show as he dug his nails into the skin of his palms. "Hey, Icy-Hot," He whirled around, muscles tensing as he glanced back at Bakugo. Orange light pooled around them, shining against their skin as they stared at one another in a studious manner.

"When was the last time you slept?"

The question caught him off-guard as his breath hitched. "I don't know. Does it matter? I'm fine."

Bakugo glared at him, "I thought I told you to not be stupid."

"I'm not being stupid," Shoto challenged, chewing on his bottom lip as his heart twisted. I'm not, am I? I hate lying to him like this. Please stop asking questions. Please, please, please, please. I just want to be left alone. I'm sorry for causing such a scene. He could feel warm blood painting his palms.

"Yes, yes you are."

"I'm not."

"Are you a dumbass?! You're running yourself into the ground again!"

Todoroki grew furious at Bakugo, his eyes filled with fury as his pupils narrowed. "WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU CARE?!" His heart hurt, his eyes hurt, his everything hurt. He could already feel the stinging pain in his hands as blood dripped onto the pavement of Yaomomo's driveway. He was so tired, so damn tired of everything.

Bakugo took quick steps towards him, lifting him by his collar like he did before.

"BECAUSE I LOVED HER TOO, DAMN IT!"

Todoroki's breath hitched, his limbs lifeless as he let Bakugo hold him up harshly. "I loved her too," He repeated himself, his voice faltering as he slowly let Todoroki down. Now, it was easier to tell that the blond's eyes were glazed over with tears. "And I know she wouldn't want you going down like this. She wouldn't want this. Y/n would never want this."

He choked up, his hands falling to his sides as his tears dropped to the ground. "She loved you and I loved her; she wouldn't want you to meet her too soon. Got it, Icy-Hot? So just. . . " Katsuki seemed at a loss for words, his head tilted down as he refused to lift it to meet Todoroki's eyes. His voice was quiet as the dual-haired boy stared at him, confused, hurt, and heartbroken.

"Take care of yourself."