All I Ever Wanted (Available On Amazon snd KU!)

Chapter Fourteen (Edited)

"Even when you have gone as far as you can

and everything hurts,

and are staring at the specter of self-doubt,

you can find a bit more strength deep inside you,

if you look closely enough"

– Hal Higdon

                                                                                         ABBIE

"Rise and shine sugar!" Josie announces, as she gently sits on the edge of my bed crossing her legs with a steaming cup of coffee in each perfectly manicured hand. Before leaving, Wyatt slipped her his spare key, so she could check up on me. Even when he can't be here, he is still looking out for me.

It's been three days since Wyatt and her husband, Christian flew out with their unit. Josie is without a doubt an ISFJ personality type, Modern day Mother Theresa. Though she comes off as completely put together. she is never judgmental or pushy. She is sweet, graceful, naturally meticulous in all she does, and loyal. Introverted yet, social in the means of reaching out and helping others. I know this is her way of coping, by staying busy, but she doesn't treat me like a "project", she is patient and treats me like a friend.

"Josie," I groan "what time is it? Is the sun even out yet!" I mutter, burying my face into Wyatt's pillow, breathing in his scent still embedded in the soft fabric, as I outreach my hand beneath the cold pillow that has remained untouched beside me until now.

"Ten to six! by the time you get your running shoes on and brush your teeth, the sun will be greeting us!" she pats my shoulder blade playfully once confirming the time.

Still extending my hand to the cold underbelly of my pillow, my fingertips butt up to something foreign and hidden. What is that? I question to myself before rushing to sit up, tucking my hair back.

"That's the spirit! I read cardio can release endorphins too, so a crisp morning run, will help keep you positive while Wyatt is away."

"uh..yea..sure, Josie." I say not meaning to blow her off or tune her out as I reach under the white cotton pillowcase to reveal, Wyatt's journal to me.

"What's wrong? Did you hear me? About cardio?" Josie's low voice chimes in, forcing me to cut my teary eyes from his book to meet hers as she stands near my nightstand holding my pair of tennis shoes.

Her once chipper smile leaves her face at an instant as it quickly forms to match mine. Gently placing my shoes against the baseboard aligned with the others before smoothing over the comforter and sitting on the edge of the bed once again, perfectly postured, only closer to me, taking my free hand into hers.

I trace my fingers along the countersunk letters written on the leather cover spelling out Abagail.

"He left this here, perfectly placed, in case he dies. Our first fight was over this damned book. And now he placed it here for me to read? What gives? Other than the sole reason of dying and letting me keep this." The words spill out rushed in my frustration.

"Oh sweetie, I'm certain that's not the case." She pauses before lifting my chin, greeting me with a bright confident smile that seems to ease my waves of worry. How does she do that? Mother Theresa. "He placed it there for you to find, so you can have his words with you until he returns! Plus, you said you gave him yours too, and that the gesture did mean dying. It meant to come home."

She was right, yesterday when I gave him my journal it wasn't because of some ulterior motive, like. "In case you dye, I want you to have this." I was what it was, me giving him my heart, letting him completely in.