danganronpa oneshots

anxiety - f. kuzuryuu

"it's gonna be okay. i need you to know that i love you, and i'm gonna spend as much time as i can with you just to tell you how much you mean to me. you're my best friend. i don't care how rough this illness gets, i'm here with you every step of the way."

—
requested by @beepbeepbaudelaires

  "i'm sorry, y/n," kazuichi scratched his neck. "i've got to finish this by tonight. i'll go to the next one, alright?" you frowned. "but it's a christmas party! it's sonia's too!" his eyes lit up, but quickly lost the glow as he realized he really did have to finish this project by tonight. "i'm sorry. have fun, be safe, alright?" he hugged you a gentle goodbye, to which you returned and headed to your house next door.

  you wanted to look okay. you were a little bit anxious about this, but you decided to go with it. nothing could go wrong, fuyuhiko would be there. that's right, fuyuhiko. the one you've liked for quite some time. you couldn't mess this up for him.

  you pulled on white thigh high stockings with black shoes and a green skirt. on top you put on a long-sleeved red shirt and separated your hair into pig tails. you put on the elf hat that chiaki had bought you, and with a final deep breath, you walked out the door.

  walking there wasn't the hard part. it was when you actually got there when you realized how suffocating it seemed. there were only 16 people, since kazuichi hadn't came.

  sonia greeted you with a smile, grabbing your hand and pulling you into the party. your mouth almost fell open as you gazed at the beautiful scenery. fake snow had covered the hallways, along with green and red string lights hung around the walls of each room.  christmas songs played through the speakers, and the talking of your friends was overpowering it. akane and ibuki stood by the food table teruteru had prepared, which included sweets, pastries, cakes, cupcakes, cookies, basically any sweet you could imagine. they seemed to be happy.

  you settled down on a couch next to chiaki, admiring how nice she looked in her matching costume. since she was one of your closest friends, besides kazuichi, you chose to go in matching costumes. it was cute.

  but then he walked in. he wore his regular suit. everything looked normal, besides the santa hat resting atop his head; which peko clearly forced him to wear. peko greeted everyone as fuyuhiko stood below her, in a seemingly bad mood; just like always.

  you all began to dance and listen to music. sonia had sprayed a vanilla air freshener in the air to clear out the smell of nekomaru's..um.. you already know.

  she giggled, dancing along with gundham. oh, how kazuichi would have loved to see this. the dancing circle closed in, leaving you feeling suffocated. it was too much. you tried to take deep breaths, but the smell of sonia's hairspray and the food like air freshener made your stomach worse. when you got anxious you lost your appetite, and the smell or thought of food made you feel physically ill.

  you fiddled with your fingers to try and calm yourself, but it wasn't enough. you were going to be sick if you couldn't get out of there. you quickly moved out, pushing past akane and apologizing. she shrugged it off and went back to doing some wild dance with nekomaru.

  you walked down the hall to an empty bedroom. the lights strung on the walls glew red, the most alarming color of the rainbow. your heart sped up faster, to which you hurried down the hall and entered a room. it looked to be sonia's bedroom. it smelled much cleaner in here, and the blaring music was muffled.

  you sat in the corner, curling your knees up to your chest. you tried to take deep breaths, but tears came rolling out instead of the anxious feeling. you cried more, your chest heaving in and out. why were you so scared? this wasn't normal.

they're your friends. you shouldn't be scared. you're pathetic.

  you cried more as your head began to repeat those thoughts, unable to control your breathing. your legs began shaking quickly, as you hugged them to your chest tighter. you wanted to curl up and die.

  it was so hard not to scream. you wanted to be alone. you wanted to be happy, but there was no escape from this. you wanted him to be happy. you knew that was without you. you knew he was out of your league, yet you still fell for him. it was pathetic. you were pathetic. why me?

  you couldn't control your breathing anymore. your head began to feel heavy, your vision blurring. but then the door clicked. a figure walked in; not too tall, maybe about 5"1. they took the hat off of their head, shutting the door behind them. "y/n?" the voice asked, worry hidden in it, yet still visible.

  it was him. why, of all people, the one person you couldn't embarrass yourself in front of?

  "please don't talk to me. i don't want to annoy you." you hid your head in your knees, muffling your crying. he took one look at your shaking legs and realized he needed to calm you down beforehand. he sat down next to you gently and quietly, making sure not to alarm you.

  "i'm sorry!" you yelled, your voice croaking. "what are you apologizing for? you've done nothing wrong. i was just looking for you." you looked up at him. "why?" "because you mean a lot to me. i hate to see you like this." he admitted, his cheeks dusting into a light shade of pink.

  "but why?" "because i care about you. now please," he opened his arms. "let me try my hardest to calm you down." he would normally never do this, so you took this as your one chance. you gently laid your head on his chest, feeling his warmth immediately. you could hear his heartbeat: it was quite fast.

  "i'm sorry if i scared you." you apologized, words muffling into the fabric material on his chest. "don't worry about it." he silenced you, rubbing small circles on your back. eventually, your breathing had calmed down.

  you picked your head up, wiping the dry tears from your eyes and making eye contact. "better now?" you nodded. "good." he smiled. "and now, i wanted to ask you; do you like anyone?" you were taken aback by the question. "y-yea, i do. why, do you?" you replied stubbornly, to which he replied with, "why yes, i do. do you wanna take a guess at who that is?"

  "peko." you quickly replied. he snickered, "really? she was the one that helped me talk to the person i like." you frowned. "when did you last speak to her?" he blushed, taking a deep breath. "i'm talking to her right now."

  "oh, she must be lucky then- wait!" your eyes widened in realization. "you like me?" he shyly nodded. "i was planning on confessing earlier, but it hurt me to see how much pain you were in so i had to calm you down first." you smiled shyly.

  "well, thank you for calming me down. it did help a lot, since you are my crush." he made a small "urk!" sound, before relaxing. "alrighty, then. that went better than i expected." he chuckled. you giggled at his remark, and leaned your head on his shoulder.

  "so as your crush, i promise to protect you and calm you down. i'll try as hard as i can."

  "i like that." you smiled, nuzzling your head into his shoulder.

—-

aaah hi i kind of used my own anxiety attacks and triggers for this stuff if that's ok; this is sort of a vent chapter but yea thank u so much for requesting!!!