Not What You Expected

Chapter Eighteen

Year 1682.

Being a wife is not at all what I expected it to be, I mean I don't feel as happy as I wanted to feel and William has changed since our wedding day. It was only four months ago, he used to be a loving and compassionate man and now he has gotten mean. I can't even remember the last time I saw him smile and that hurts me deeply as I thought he was my...mate.

But I should've known, I don't get those warm feelings when he touches me nor do I feel a strong bond with him. I sigh as I look out the small window at the frozen over lake, William moved us from Virginia to Minnesota he said we needed a fresh start and I didn't disagree with him, as he is my husband and a women is never to disagree with her husband.

Sadly Lillian did not make the journey with us, mainly because she very much disagrees with me being married to a human man. I understand her worries about me being with a human man, but she has to understand that I am no longer a naive little girl. I'm a grown women who knows what she is doing, yes I am having my struggles but I will not let that ruin my marriage.

I sigh once again as I turn away from the window in our small room, in the cabin we bought for a fair price only a few months ago. We live in the country, just a few miles away from the nearest village, to my dismay. Being a vampire I have to be close to where I can hunt and well...being in the country only makes me have to sneek out at night when William is asleep to hunt. Speaking of William he is currently working at a nearby farm as a stable hand, not the best of jobs but it keeps food on the table.

I walk from the window to the small wooden desk that sits in the corner. Williams cousin made it for us as a wedding gift, sadly he along with Williams father passed only a few weeks after we left for Virginia in a fire. Accidental of course, I belive the loss of Williams only family members is weighing heavily on him and that is why he has been so sort with me lately.

I take a seat in the wooden seat that came along with the desk, and take the feather pen along with a few pieces of paper from the drawer, with some link too. I quickly or rather messily write the address on the top before I actually begin to write.

Dear Lillian.

Life in Minnesota is different and nothing like London was, I do belive the world is different in each country and that the people are also very much different. It's cold here and not as warm in the summer as it was in Virginia, but I must say I prefer it that way, I was never one for the heat as you already know.

....The

I stop writing for a moment as I know I am just dancing around the point and I know how much she hates when I just dance around the point. So with a very deep sigh, I cross out the word and say what I need to say.

Life is different, I don't like different Lillian, I hate different. I want to leave, but my heart will not allow me to leave. Nor the baby that grows in my belly, will allow me to leave.

My hand subconsciously goes to my stomach, as I gently start to rub it. I find out I was with child, only hours ago and I want...to do what is best for this child. And what is best is to stay with William and rise the child. But William is not making my decision any easier, I love William, I truly do, but he is mean and stone cold. He's exactly like what Lillian told me about the human men.

Mean, cold, abusive towards women and disgusting creatures. Of course I don't believe that every human male, has these characteristics. But William is starting to change my mind and I feel that the longer I stay with him, the more I will change....