Strange Life

Deeper into Darkness

You see and hear people talking about depression and anxiety all the time but never really know the feeling of what it's like until you've hit rock bottom yourself and you don't have the strength to get up anymore and you find yourself just laying there emotionless, beat down to the end of your wits, staring at the wall for hours on end, just imaging your life in a different and a better place, it's like staring in the mirror and seeing no reflection, just a giant blob of darkness, where the image of yourself should be but also not being able to do anything to fix it. As piper lays in the hospital bed just after getting her stomach pumped with grace holding her hand, grace's mother walks in just to only explain that piper's family isn't coming to pick her up. Piper just staring at the wall shrugs her shoulders like kind of figured that one, turning her head away. Grace squeezes her hand tighter, just looking at her mother, "mom can we do anything?" with a long pause in between she states "you can stay with us but under one condition, you need to get a job" So two weeks went by and piper finally got the call for an interview at Papa John's, out of all the places she applied, it just had to be a fast food junk restaurant but piper went anyway and of course got the job. She started off on night shift, only to find out that everyone there smoked pot out back in between orders, so there was no escaping drugs for her. even after being in the hospital, it didn't even phase her like it never happened. With grace still in school and her being on night shift, they hardly seen each other, it was coming up on  of them dating for two years and it was an end less cycle of reliving the same day over and over again, wake up, work, sleep and do it all over again. Piper was getting burnt out and kind of lost. Piper got off work early one day to come home to grace having a dude in the bed, and her flat out saying "I don't think I'm gay" piper flipped shit then grabbed her bookbag full of clothes that she's been holding on to for years. On her walk to nowhere, she called her mother crying  "Ill be right there" is the sign of relief she needed to hear, she found a park bench and waited patiently just staring at the ground, watching the wind blow the grass, just lost in her own thoughts and mind like "why me?" "Why does this happen?" "Why the fuck can't anyone just love me?" She pondered on the thought of a big house and little babies running around while she made dinner and her wife coming home from work just to hug her and tell her "Don't worry i got it, if you wanna take a bath and relax" and as she's laying in the tub soaking in the hot water, all of her nightmares just washing away as she slips on her red wine, closing her eyes and just smiling from ear to ear, that this is finally it. This is the life that I've been dreaming about. Then her mother shakes her "Hey?? Hey Piper... Are you okay??" Snapping back into reality she grabs her bag and gets in the truck, driving down the interstate just abandoning her job, her friends, and the shit life she had. Taken a deep breathe and feeling a weight lifted off her shoulders as they drive two hours away to where her mother now lives. This is a new start, a place to where no one has even heard of her. As weeks went by of just laying around the house, not working and just drowning in drugs after drugs, her mom's boyfriend snapped one day when he was drunk "You're just a lazy fat bitch" getting in piper's  face "Go ahead, I've heard it all before" standing her ground with her arms crossed at her chest. He raises his arm to back hand her in the face as her mother walks and runs over "what the h...?!?!" and before piper knew it, her mother was on the ground, holding her face. Piper shoves him back into the wall and helps her mother up, he takes off to the bedroom and stays there. Fifteen minutes later the police were banging at the door, he comes out of the bedroom "Get the fuck out of my house" as piper and her mom gather their things and put them in the back of the cruiser. The now Ex-boyfriend is talking to the cops, telling them so many lies  "Hey she's been stealing from stores" "You might wanna run her name in the system" even though it was really him doing it all and blaming it on her, Piper bringing out the last bit of her mom's stuff to put it in the trunk and her mother and the other cop car is gone. Freaking out, now in panic mode "Where is my mother??!" "Where the fuck is she?!?" Charging after the Ex just as the other officer grabs her and puts her in the back of the car. Now crying "please where is my mother?!?" The officer backing out of the driveway "She had a warrant out for her arrest for a DUI hearing that she missed sweetie" In piper's panicked voice "wait what?!?" Driving down the road he begans to tell her "Your mom, gave me a key and an address to take you there" Once at this place, he helps her take everything inside and then leaves, Piper now all alone in a apartment that already had her mother's things there and no phone to call anyone for help or advise. She laid around for three days watching old dvd movies, just reaping in her depression, until she got the great idea to take some of her things to the pawn shop to buy a phone card. So she set out on her journey after finding some valuable things laying around the house, She walked to the nearest gas station and asked where the closet pawn shop was "Oh honey, its about a fourty minute drive down the road" Piper takes a deep sigh "Okay, thank you" she walks and walks what seemed to be hours, Which in reality it really was. Forty minutes in a car would of been alot faster. She walks up to the door to realize they were closed "Fuck!!!!!" As she screams shaking the door. Piper seen a bridge within the distance and decided its just one night, she wasn't about to walk back just to walk back in the morning. Under the bridge was four homeless people surrounded by a fire in a barrel, just trying to get warm, three were guys and one female, just in dirty run down clothes, where you can clearly tell they have been on the streets for awhile. She found a flat cardboard box and sat down with her mom's things shoved up inside her shirt, keeping them safe. when day turned to night and the temperature started to drop, piper crawled in a ball and the older lady threw a blanket on her. "Thank you so much" as the woman walks away, piper clenches the dirty blanket with holes and crawls in a tighter ball. Piper wakes up just as the sun comes up, still seeing her cold morning breathe, shaking as she's trying to warm up then sets out to find the woman to give her blanket back only to see the woman was blue and stiff, like she's been a corpse for hours. She promised herself that she would call 911 once her phone was on to notify someone to retrieve the body, she throws the blanket after the woman and looks up at the sky "Please take care of this sweet angel" and then walks away with her head down just kicking rocks. Piper sells her mother's things, walks to the closest gas station and gets a phone card but was more expensive then what she actually thought so she only got one with less minutes, so she did what she thought was right. Piper called the police to report the nice old lady and then started her journey on the walk home. Once at the house with only a few minutes left, she called the only person she knew that would help...