This is a long chapter. Let me know if you like shorter or longer ones!!❤️
Clay slowly lifts his head off of his soft pillow. He struggles to lift the rest of his body up; he feels as though he is tied down into his sheets. He tries to fight this feeling by rolling over and sliding out from under his covers. He hasn't even realized it, but he is now lying on the floor. His face pressed up against the cold tiles. He feels a cold shiver spike down his spine making him perk is head up in confusion.
"How did I get here?" He quietly questions himself.
He turns his head over to his clock to see the time.
6:43am
He is taken aback at how early it is. He felt his heavy eyelids close as he lowered himself back onto his floor. i'll just rest here for a bit. He thinks to himself, not even realizing he has a ton of work to do today.
Hours pass by as Clay is lying on his floor snoring softly. He is woken up by a loud crash from his kitchen. He immediately sits up confused and almost scared. Without hesitation he stands the rest of his body up feeling very lightheaded. Shit, too quick too quick. Gotta sit back down. He sinks back into the floor and grabs his head trying to regain focus. A minute passes and he finally gets up. He speed walks into the kitchen only to find a mug shattered on his counter. He can see the rusty hook the mug was previously latched onto was now on the floor. God. It's just a mug. Why did i get so scared? He reassures himself that he was just tired and confused. He cleans up the mess and walks back into his room.
As he walks into his room he is greeted by his clock which now says the time is 1:00pm. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Clay realizes he has wasted his whole morning and needs to get a bunch of work done for his channel. Before getting into his chair he grabs his phone to see if he has any missed calls. 15 missed calls. Clay quickly opens the phone app to see he has 10 missed calls from JJ and 5 missed calls from George. He thinks to himself for a minute. I can't deal with JJ right now. I also don't feel like dealing with George. He knows in the back of his mind he'd much rather speak to George. Hearing George's voice makes Clay feel calm and warm. Something he's been yearning to feel for years. He calls JJ instead knowing he's about to argue with her for the next hour.
"What the fuck Clay!" JJ immediately whines as she picks up his call. "Where have you been? Why'd you call me so late last night? Are you cheating on me? Oh my god you are aren't you?" JJ annoyingly screams
"Calm down." Clay firmly states. "My sleep schedule has been fucked these past few days, I'm not cheating on you."
"I don't believe you." JJ claims. "Whatever, you're always either sleeping or talking with George. Why don't you ever want to spend time with your girlfriend?" JJ manipulatively says.
"I'm sorry" Clay emotionlessly whispers.
why do you care so much about what she thinks? you don't even really love her. Clay thinks to himself while JJ is yelling at him through the phone. Shut up you do love her. Right? Clay is fighting is own mind when he finally realizes JJ has calmed down and decides to drop it.
"I love you Clay don't be mad at me!!!" JJ says knowing she has won this fight. "Don't be a baby cmon I was joking!! I love you!"
"I love you too, I'm sorry." Clay says before hanging up.
Clay throws his phone on his bed and places his hands on his head. He starts to grab onto his hair tightly trying to rip out his brain. Why do you just let her walk all over you? You are such a pussy. Clay thinks to himself as he paces around his dirty room. He hasn't even realized how dirty his room has been getting. Every day feels the same. Wake up at an unreasonable hour. Either play minecraft or fight with JJ. Barely eat. Sit in bed over analyzing everything that has happened that day. I can't keep living like this. Clay grabs his phone to call George. he always knew how to brighten up Clays day. He also was the only one who knew that JJ was his girlfriend. However George didn't know what JJ was doing to him and Clay hated himself for keeping it from George. Clay wanted to feel like he could tell George his problems, but he was to afraid to be a burden.
"Clay!!! What's up? We were supposed to film today? Are you okay?" George says clearly concerned.
"I'm fine. Just slept in that's all." Clay tried to say monotone. He knows that George can tell when something is up. He understands him better than most people.
"I can tell you're not. Let's just film the video later this week. Try not to stress about it okay?" George softly speaks into his phone.
Clay thanks him trying to hide the pain he's been feeling lately. Clay wants to be able to tell George how he really feels, but he is too afraid of what might come of it. He realizes the call has gone silent and all that's left is George's soft breathing through the phone. He even feels more calm with just the sound of George's breath, it feels like warmth crawling out of the phone and into Clays numb body. He tries to focus on the sound of his breath, matching up their inhales and exhales. George doesn't seem to notice and breaks the silence with another question.
"Are you sure you're okay man? I feel like we haven't talked seriously in a while?"
"I- I'm totally fine." Clay wants so bad to tell him how he's been struggling lately. From barely eating to not sleeping and his mentally abusive girlfriend, He was barely holding it together.
"I can tell you're not. I don't want to push you, but can we at least talk a little bit? I care about you a lot, and I don't like seeing you this way." George speaks with real concern and care. Clay has never been spoken to like this. His heart starts beating fast and his cheeks flush pink. He wants to feel George's arms holding him, telling him it's going to be okay.
"I- I," Clay is clearly flustered and doesn't know how to respond to this. "I got to go. Sorry."
Clay quickly hangs up and thinks over what had just happened. Thinking over how just the sound of George's breathing gave him so much comfort. Clay has a hard time figuring out how he feels and currently his mind is going in every direction. Confusion flushes his head. Why can't I stop thinking about George? Clays heart starts beating faster as he thinks about George. He thinks about how he's always been there for him and always knows just what to say to make Clay melt. He thinks about George holding him and the warmth radiating off of his body into Clays heart. Stop. He can't control it. He starts thinking about being with George, being is his reach. Being even closer than they've ever been before. STOP. Clays mind can't handle this. He wants George, he wants him bad. No no no stop. A flood of emotions fill Clays mind as he stumbles into his bed, tripping over the clutter on his floor.
"I need sleep." Clay whispers trying to shut his mind off and get some rest.
That night he got no sleep, he continued to toss and turn longing for the feeling of another body with him.
long chapter sorry! Let me know what ya think please❤️❤️
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heartache | dreamnotfound
Fanfiction#dnf cover art: YU1XAKII Clay has gone through the last few years of his life dealing with his toxic girlfriend JJ. He also has a lot of built up unspoken feelings about his best friend George. His weird behavior has become more noticeable as time...
