nightlight / / matt

nightlight / / 9

so today i found out that my crush lives in the neighborhood across from mine. okay dude.

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violet 》》

we haven't spoken since the kiss.

It is February 15th and I still haven't talked to him. Not at school, not outside of school. Nothing. He hasn't climbed through my window and I haven't climbed through his.
This is weird.

After we kissed on new years eve, I regretted it. Everything was so perfect and friendly with Matt before, but it's just awkward when we pass each other in the halls.
It's not that I didn't like kissing him, because I liked it a lot, we just kept kissing afterward and getting more heated when we are legitimately only friends.

I'm always afraid that Matt is going to flash one of those I've-Seen-You-In-Your-Most-Vulnerable-State looks that I hate. I hate feeling like I'm not in control, but it happens way more than I would like.

So here I am, sitting at my desk in math class, and being terrified that Matt might talk to me this time.
This is kind of my daily routine now;
Wake up, Worry about Matt, Go to school, See Matt, Come home from school, Worry that he might walk through my window today.

I hate awkward conversations and awkward things in general, and I know if he talks to me, all I will be thinking about is how he slid his hand up my shirt and grabbed my waist on New Years Eve.

Ugh, I can't be here any longer or I might throw up. "Mr. Willard?" I raise my hand, "Can I go to the restroom?"
"I don't know, can you?" He says and laughs at his own joke, before signaling that I can go.

And just my luck, as I'm heading back from the bathroom, Matthew is doing something in his locker that is right outside the classroom.

Think, Violet. Should I just walk past him? No that would make everything more awkward. What should I do?!
The last thing I want to do right now is talk to him. Okay, I have an idea.

I run to the school office before Matt can see me. "Uh, excuse me?" I say, trying to get the middle aged woman's attention.
"Yes?" she questions.
"Um yes hi. There was a small crisis at home and I really need to leave right now." I said really fast.
"Sorry, but you cannot leave early unless a parent picks you up."
"Yeah I know, my mom is right there." I pointed towards a car with an older woman and waved, she waved back because that's what old ladies do.
"Then I suppose you can go.. I will inform your teachers of your absence."
"Thank you so much!" I yell while running out the door.

Instead of getting in that one lady's car, I pulled out my phone and earbuds and blared music while I walked home.

I walk in my house, and of course my mom wants to know why I'm back so early, "I got really sick and threw up. They said that I could come home." I lied, walking up to my bedroom.
"Okay, well tell me if you need anything! I'm going to the grocery so you're home alone until I get back."
"Okay, Mom!"

I hear the door open and close and the car start as it pulls out of the driveway.

I pull out my laptop and, as usual, watch movies/TV shows that have Aaron Tveit in them. You see, Idina Menzel and Aaron Tveit are my favorite people in the world because, I may not come off as one, but I am a huge musical theatre fan. like HUGE. like I have a collection of playbills that take up a whole wall in my room huge.

Anyways, Aaron Tveit. If you don't know who he is, he is a very attractive broadway/non broadway actor who has the voice of a kajillion tiny little angels.

Then, I get a text from Matt: Heyy... Um can we talk? Starbucks maybe? I don't like not talking to you...

So I responded: Sure, I'll be there in 15 minutes...

Then I plugged my phone in to charge as I change out of my formerly changed into sweats.

I grab my phone and keys and head out the door.

- s t a r b u c k s -

I walk in and Matt is already at a booth in the back corner. I wave, order my drink, and sit down with him until my drink is called.

"Violet, I am so sorry... I didn't mean to do it but it just kinda did and I don't think you understand how sorry I am." He rambled as he apologized.

"Matt, I- can we just forget about this? Please? Everything is just so awkward and I don't want it to be so just don't talk about it. It never happened, okay?"

"What never happened?"

"Matt, the ki- oh you sly dog."

"The main reason we are friends, is because you just said 'sly dog'" he laughs at me.

Phew, I'm glad this is in the past.

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OKAY STORY TIME AND I DOUBT YOU WANT TO HEAR IT BUT IVE HAD THIS CHAPTER READY FOR A WHILE AND I THOUGJT I UPLOADED IT BUT I DIDNT AND IM SORRY DONT HATE ME I LOVE YOU