𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥, vinnie hacker

thirteen

fangirl
chapter thirteen | no one's point of view.

"you're crazy," vinnie gushes at the girl that sat in the chair at her desk. she gasps. "how? what is so wrong with that?"

he snorts and playfully rolls his eyes. "math is the worst subject in this world. it's pointless!"

"okay, vinnie, i agree with you on that one. but man you're telling me you'd rather do a whole ass english essay on some boring shit rather than some math problems? couldn't be me," she responds and he sits for a moment to think about what she just asked.

"i guess you're right." she kisses her teeth and sends him an closed-mouth grin. "always am."

it had been about a week since vinnie had come down to Seattle for two weeks. this week had been filled with them hanging out with her friends. they even went to a party. they also went skating the majority of the days, the movies, and even an arcade. they had spent countless days at each other's house, but nothing had really happened with them except for the occasional cuddling. it didn't bother eileen at all, she genuinely just liked being around him.

they were currently at eileen's and they were having a lazy night. they had already ate sushi, and now they were putting on facemasks and about to watch a movie and eat ice cream. eileen finished putting the sheet mask on and she stood up to grab the other one, before moving to stand in front of vinnie. he looks up at her with a grin and she returns it. she brings the sheet mask to put over his face and he laughs.

"i think i need to head home. it's already two," vinnie yawns at eileen as they stood up off of her bed. he grabs his keys and fiddles with them and she smiles up at him. they had just finished watching two movies and eating ice cream.

"okay," she says and he grins. "i'll see you?" he asks and she nods. they're both stood in the middle of her bedroom and eileen has butterflies in her stomach.

vinnie's eyes flick down towards eileen's lip and her stomach does an actual flip. before eileen can even register what happened, vinnie is leaning down and planting his lips on hers.

they kiss for a couple of moments before vinnie's heart drops.

he shouldn't have done that.

he pulls himself away from her, and when eileen opens her eyes she's looking at him with a huge smile. until she sees his face.

he's standing in front of her with a frown on his face.

"i-i shouldn't have done that," he whispers before sighing. eileen's eyebrows furrow. "wait— what? why?" she questions and he shakes his head.

"i-i have so much stuff going on, i shouldn't have done that." he states and her eyes widen. what the fuck? "i shouldn't have even come, eileen. i'm not ready for a relationship." he says before grabbing his phone off of her bed and walking out of her room, down the stairs, then out the front door.

eileen didn't even have it in her to cry at the moment. she was just genuinely confused. why would he tell her his feelings, fly out to her town, hang out with her for a week, kiss her— all for him not to be ready for a relationship?

eileen didn't care about being in a relationship, she just wanted to be around him. she didn't expect for them to start dating the minute they met, but she thought this was something real.

as vinnie drove home, his heart hurt, but he knew he was doing the right thing.

after saying he was ready for this, when he kissed her- he knew.

you can't love someone else until you truly love yourself.

vinnie cared way too much about eileen to put her through this. the depressive episodes, the anxiety, the comments that came with being with him.

he knew if they were together— the internet would hate it. they would bash her and absolutely ruin her, and he couldn't stand it.

after even just posting the picture of them on twitter, people went crazy. you couldn't even see her face, but people were already bashing her appearance and saying she didn't deserve him.

it's better this way, he reminds himself as he drives home with tears in his eyes.

so yeah i apologize lmao but i have a good plan as to where this book is going, and this needed to happen.