Chapter 2: The Darkness

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Chapter 2: The Darkness

Two months had passed since I was abandoned. In that time I kept to myself.

I had one run in with Bella right before Harry Clearwater died. The day she showed up after all my friends abandoned me, which was only that next day after school, she had rushed into the house like she owned the place. She asked me in the kitchen if I knew where Jacob was. She needed to talk to him. He was supposed to take her cliff-diving or something. I answered her saying he ran off to go do something for Sam as soon as school was out. It was my usual answer.

Bella had noted upon my tone the change in me. She looked me over with concern and asked if I was okay. So someone did care...?

I only grabbed my water and asked her, "Were you when your boyfriend Edward abandoned you? Imagine in Edward's place it was Charlie and your mom instead."

She grabbed my arm as I went to leave the room. "I'm going to talk to Jacob, Hannah. Just because he joined Sam's gang doesn't give him the right to abandon you and Quil."

I was bitter. "Quil's one of them, Bella. You're a day late."

She had dropped her hand in shock. "Really?" She had this look in her eyes of sudden curiosity. She left me then, just as so many had before.

But Bella hadn't spoken on my behalf at all. She jumped off a cliff instead and my brother had to heroically save her from what I heard. Jacob loved Bella. She was lucky the world seemed to revolve around her. I'm certain if I jumped off a cliff no one would save me.

Harry Clearwater passed away on March 16th, the same day Bella jumped from the cliff, and his funeral on March 18th was the only public appearance I made in the time of my isolation apart from going to school. During the funeral, the only person I spoke to was Seth, trying to avoid my brother and the others as much as I could. They were ignoring me anyway as they spoke with Sam. I understood as I stared at the fourteen year old Clearwater that he was confused and in despair about his dad's death. I offered him what words of comfort I could find.

"It sucks... and it won't feel better for a long time. I know you have your mom and sister so you feel like you have to be strong for them. But when they aren't looking, there's no shame in letting your tears go. You're only human."

Seth listened to me, his eyes staring into my own with gratitude. He smiled shyly. "Thanks, Hannah. That's what I really needed to hear right now... You're the first person who hasn't told me a lie..."

I gave him a nod. "Losing a parent is something others won't understand... take the time you need to heal."

He nodded. His eyes shot downward, and then they widened. He grabbed my arms with question, seeing faded purple bruising on my wrists. "What happened? Your wrists look awful!"

Sam had heard and glanced over. I caught his stare from the corner of my eyes and shrunk a bit. I slowly pulled from Seth, saying softly, "Nothing... shut the trash can lid on them. No worries." I turned and walked away.

However, I noticed through the rest of the service and at the meal afterward at the Clearwater's residence to celebrate Harry's life, Seth kept glancing my way with concern. I contemplated sucking up the fact that my friends were never coming back, and it may be time to move on to another friend. But my insecurities stopped me from forming any further relationship with Seth other than us being children of the elders on the council. I didn't have the strength to be hurt again.

Sam approached me after a few guests had left. Charlie Swan had driven my dad to go have drinks in honor of their friend, so I had been left helplessly to stand alone in the room. I was supposed to be getting a ride from Leah who was asked by her mom to do so, and I wished it was time for that escape. I grew nervous and backed away as Sam came towards me, but by that point I was against the wall with nowhere else to go.

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