Helluva Boss x Reader Oneshots: Vol. 2

🔞 Stolas x Female Reader: Royal Treatment

"(Y/N)...do I even want to know what happened on that last job?" Blitzø asked, examining your tattered clothes.

"Trust me, you don't. It's a miracle that I didn't even get caught."

"True, but you let your target get away! That was an easy shot, how did you miss?"

"It wasn't my fault! I was stuck in an amusement park of all places, there were too many people walking around! Trying to hide and keep up with that bitch wasn't easy. I got lucky by playing the mascot card when that brat found me."

"But luck doesn't get us paid (Y/N), you need to pick it up. This is the 4th job this week you've screwed up for us! You're usually pretty good when you work alone, what's the problem?"

"You keep giving me targets in open places, that's the problem! It's too hard to hide when there isn't a place to hide! Do you have any idea as to how many times I've had to hide in dumpsters and trashcans because of all those stupid close calls?"

"My best guess is a few times too many, that explains the smell." he commented, plugging his nose.

"Don't be cute with me, this is your fault! Please tell me I can go home now, I really need to take a bath. This is my favorite outfit and now I have to burn it." you grumbled.

"Fine, you're free to go...after you get some filing done for me." he added, making you let out an annoyed groan "Hey! All I'm asking is for you to reorganize a few things, that's all. Take a shower, get on that fast, and then you're free to go."

"OK, fine, whatever gets me home and out of these crappy clothes."

"More like crapped up clothes." he muttered, yelling as he dodged the trashcan.

"I heard that Blitzø, it's not funny!" you growled as you stormed out. "Stupid egotistical bastard, can't I have one easy job for once?" you whimpered. After you stepped out of the shower, you almost didn't hear your phone ring. You checked the caller I.D., a rather tasteful image of the prince gracing the screen "Hm, it's rare he calls me while I'm still on the clock...Hey babe, what's up?"

"Not too much my dear, I'm feeling awfully lonely and I wanted to hear your voice...That and Blitzy seems to have lost another cellphone." he joked to make you laugh.

"Yeah, I was there when he lost this one. Let's just say it lost a rough fight with a wood chipper. It was either him or the phone, you can guess what choice he made."

"Oh dear, a wood chipper? Is he alright?"

"He's fine, still being a smart ass."

"Yes, but he's my big d***ed smart ass. Speaking of asses, I've been thinking about yours a lot lately. I was hoping I could enjoy your 'company' tonight, among other things.~" he replied seductively, making you bite your lip.

"Ooh, that does sound nice. I've had a rough time these past few days, your precious 'Blitzy' keeps giving me these crazy jobs."

"Oh, exactly how crazy?"

"'I've been forced to dumpster dive in order to stay hidden' kind of crazy. I just got out of the shower and I still smell like rancid sardines."

"Goodness, you poor thing. Forced to wallow in the garbage for cover. That does sound rough indeed...and it gives me a splendid idea. How does a little spa night sound darling?"

"A spa night? I don't know, I'd rather jump into the sex if that's OK with you." you replied bluntly.

"Honestly (Y/N), I swear you're worse than Blitzy. Always eager to do the devil's dance and get it over with. That's a shame really, I just happened to acquire a hot tub for my private bathroom."