Smoke

0.3

There's something
special about falling in love
you know,
for starters it's the one thing
people can control
except him of course,
It's one thing you do slowly
you take your time,
but the most special one
is it being the only thing
that can make you
or break you.
[c.r.]
- - -
I don't think any thing could beat coffee at two A.M, or a cheese burger at three, chocolate ice cream at four, soft indie music at five, or a cup of green tea followed by a blanket and fuzzy socks at six.

I've tried all of them, loved every single one of them there was something peaceful, cozy, heartwarming about them.

I still had things on my bucket list though, like having a water fight and all night movie night with someone, going on a four hour adventure, six A.M calls, and falling in love.

I only accomplished five of them, Drinking four sodas straight, smoking, staying up with my mom, going out of town, and a horror movie night.

Those were lame ones I had fun ones to but no one to do them with, I was homeschooled and shy not a good combination.

I couldn't seem to get Jack out of my head, that night after he left I told my mother everything.

She told me to slow down that I'm already on the edge of the cliff ready to set free and fly.

She liked Jack though, she said he was a good man and I couldn't agree more, Jack was different a good different he seemed more aware of everything, he was blunt and stubborn yet cute and sweet too.

Jack thought of the world in a perspective I couldn't quite wrap my head around, he said "The world is a beautiful place of wrecked dreams and broken hearts along with empty dreams and loneliness," He spoke.

Jack seemed sad, lonely it made my heartache for him though Jack hated pity he said it was stupid.

Right now It's two A.M Jack and I are laying in the middle of the road looking at the stars as a fresh coat of snow covered the iced ground, Jack pointed out a couple of stars like Aryan's Belt.

A cloud of cigarette smoke filled the air around us, we aren't talking the only sound is Jack constant puffs and his uneven breathing.

"Jack," I say quietly

"Mhm" He hums

"What's your definition of beauty?" I ask

"You." He says turning his head to look at me

Oh.

My heart soars, my cheeks flush and I'm melted butter.

"Jack," I can't strip the grin off my face "Seriously."

"Hm," He thinks "Creamy brown hair, electric blue eyes and freckles." He grins

I laugh shaking my head, how could he ever think of me as beauty I was far below beauty I wasn't ugly but I wasn't beauty.

It's the strangest most intoxicating feeling ever when you grow affection towards someone, it's creeps up on you finding it's way upon your heart making you utterly vulnerable, but you could careless because you feel like you're flying.

"Winter," Jack says "Do you ever feel alone sometimes?"

"Sometimes," I say turning my head to look at him

"I'm lonely all the time," Jack sighs "Except of course when I'm with you, but after I leave or you go loneliness creeps back up on me."

∞

Jack and I decided to go home around three, it was a long walk back to my house, Jack's hand kept grazing my hand every time his hand would touch mine, you know how when it's snowing outside and you play outside for hours? And when you come back in to take a bath it burns feeling numb almost?, that's how his touch felt but I wanted more.

"I want to hold your hand," Jack says "But I'm not sure I could ever let go."

My breathing gets hitched, my stomach lets loose a thousand butterflies, and my heart feels like it's foot is already over the edge of the cliff.

I tie mine and Jack's hands together feeling tingles make their way up my arm, our hands fit together like two puzzle pieces.

"I won't let go," I say "Not until you do."

I try to stay calm to not freak him out but my heart is bond to beat right out of my chest my stomachs doing cartwheels and my breathing is uneven.

"I can hear your heart beating from over here, Winter." Jack grins look at me

"Shush," I laugh shoving him slightly

He grins and shakes his head towards the ground, and I etch this moment into my heart and upon my brain.

"You have a good heart, Hiland." Jack smiles

A smile plays on my lips, there's never going to be a compliment more meaningful then that, that is a compliment everyone should want and need, I would rather my heart to be complimented rather than my features because my heart is me, the real me.