Texting With The Avengers

•Marvel as Vines•

AN/ I sent these to a good friend of mine and she said I should post them. Enjoy!

***

Steve: Let me see what you have!

Winter Soldier: A knife!

Steve: NO!

"What would you do if there was a child right in front of you?"

Thanos: *throws Gamora off a cliff*

Steve: You ever wanna talk about your emotions, Bucky?

Bucky: No.

Scott: I do!

Steve: I know, Scott.

Scott: I'm sad.

Steve: I know, Scott.

*music plays*

"Bring the beat in!"

Wong: Anything for you, Beyoncé!

Steve: I'm over 72 *jumps* and I feel great!

Loki: Hey, how much money do you have?

Thor: Uh, like 69 cents.

Loki: Ah, you know what that means!

Thor: *sniff* I don't have enough money for chicken nuggets.

Tony: Peter, go put those corn dogs back.

Peter: You can't make me do anything!

Sam: Alright, let's tell each other a secret about ourselves. I'm gonna go first. *looks at Bucky* I... hate you.

Ned: Peter and I are about to go vandalize some stuff!

Peter: Hi!

***

Peter: You sure about this?

Ned: Yeah, man, just go!

Peter: *writes "=16" on the back of a 4x4*

Starlord: If I had a penny for every time I wasn't cool, I'd have... no pennies. *blasts Awesome Mix*

Steve: Yo, dumb**s, get over here.

Bucky: Okay-

Sam: I'm coming!

Bucky: But I thought... I was dumb**s.

Tony: Just two shots of vodka. *just pours the whole bottle into his cup*

Sam: Hey, do you have any shaving cream?

Bucky: No, I don't like the way it tastes.

Sam: ...You eat shaving cream?

Bucky: No, why would I eat it if I don't like the taste?

Sam: Hey, dude, can I get a sip of that water?

Bucky: It's not water.

Sam: Vodka! I like your style!

Bucky: It's vinegar.

Sam: What?

Bucky: It's vinegar.

Clint: F*k this sh*t I'm out!

Peter: (singing to Tony) You are my dad! You're my dad! Boogie woogie woogie!

Steve: So basically what I was thinking was-

Thanos: *wipes out half the universe*

Steve: Oh f*k. I can't believe you've done this.

Loki: Hey everybody, today my brother pushed me, so I'm starting a Kickstarter to put him down. (Picture of Thor) The benefits of killing him would be I would get pushed way less.

Scott under house arrest: Dear Diary, today I couldn't find my diary so I'm writing this on both of my Kung Fu Panda 2 DVDs.

Thanos: (to Wanda) Wait a minute... who are you?

Odin: What do you wanna be when you grow up?

Loki: Vice President.

Odin: ...Hey, can I—

Frost giant: You already signed the papers, sir.

Odin: Rip them up! You guys gave me a loser!

Steve: It's the Fourth of July, you know it's true, the colors of the flag are red, white, and blue heyyyy

Starlord: Dad? Is this where you've been for the past ten years?

Ego: (tries to take over the universe)

Starlord: DAD NO!

Stephen: I was thinking I could do some magic—

Wong: You? Magic? Stephen, it says talent show.

Peter: When there's too much drama at school, all you gotta do is, walk away-ay-ay.

Civil War...

Tony: You know what? I'm about to say it.

Steve: Say it.

Tony: I don't care that you broke your elbow.

Ego: Everyone put your hands where I can see 'em! I'm about to blow this boy up!

Starlord: ...Dad?

Ego: Uh... why are you here?

Starlord: I was buying food!

Some school in 1930s Brooklyn...

"Is Steven here?"

Steve: Present! *dabs*

"...James?"

Bucky: *peace sign* Whassup, dude?

Thanos: So no head?

Thanos: *obliterates half the universe*

Starlord: Welcome to Del Taco. They got this new thing called fresha—fre-sha-vac-ado. FRESHACADADO

Valkyrie: Hi, I'm lesbian.

Thor: I thought you were American???

Steve: Road work ahead? Uh, yeah, I sure hope it does.