ForNever

Ten

Just as you thought you know a person well enough, life tosses you an eye-opener and proves you wrong. Greg is one ideal case in point. He is one of the few boy- friends of mine that I trust. Well, a week of being closer counts, right?

Yes, I'm aware that he has certain feelings for me but it was in fact one of the many reasons why I trusted him more. He has feelings for me, yet, the control he does to not take advantage of our friendship flatters me.

Our closeness can give him all the possible chances to put his arms on my shoulders er or even just his hand on it yet he did nothing but to ask me to let him carry my bag and my books, to eat with us and to drive us home.

The way he flushes when I smile at him, the number of girls he turn down in front of our faces, and his love and respect for his mother, made me believe that this guy can't be one of those archetypal varsity players that will play games with girls that are... not-so-like me. I saw how he talks and behaves around his mother when he brought me to their house together with Anne and Jenna . He is too sweet to her and it warms my heart. He gained more respect from me than he ever knew after that day.

But just as how those pyramiding scams sound good and convincing from the start yet leaves your pockets empty in the end, this friend of mine emptied my bag of pure trust for him right when I was just starting to shower him with untainted conviction and deference.

He joined the empire of undisputed, easily predicted, douche bags that hang out on the right side of the Student Lounge, checking every single girl out that come their way.

My unalloyed faith for him was contaminated with every scene I saw and there is no way he can bring it back to being pure.

He knows it. He knows how I deal with trust and how rare I grant it to people. I know I can't judge him this way; he is my friend after all. But I can't get along with a person that masked his whole personality in such a perfect way that even my wildest, most reliable observations failed to perceive. I wish my other friends don't show me faked personalities like what Greg did.

My mind one-sidedly works now, justifying what I just saw. It always has two sides, you know. I'll sight an example. I pour Coke in a glass, filling half of it and I'd say it's half full. In the contrary, they can say that it's half empty. All depends on how you take things, optimistically or pessimistically.

I wish the upcoming sunrise can clear my thoughts and bring me back to that girl that still finds the slightest of chances, the smallest of light in people and still see it as a good thing, just like how I'd say that my glass of Coke is half full rather than empty.

This doesn't erase him from being my friend. We just started building things up. This, however, erases him from being one of the few people I trust, and the impact of the loss of it will surely be felt.

"Katie, Jen Jen, thanks for this day."

"Not a biggie, I'm sure Jenna enjoyed it too, with three empty packs of Kettle Korn and all."

Jenna playfully swats my arm and we all shared giggles. We had a good time today, at most.

"Seriously Kate, what now? I mean, about Greg. You look off while we were in the theater room and even a few moments after. You sure you're okay? You just started being close to him."

"Hey, don't worry. It's not a problem after all. He is still my friend, granted that he obviously made me put up a false impression of him. I can't take away our new-rising friendship. I'll keep on building it up with him, just not how I wanted it to turn out a week ago..."

I tried to pull off a smile but I failed.

"You know how I deal with friendships, right? I give everyone a chance. I just happen to have levels for it. He used to be in line with you, two. Now he's placed in the bottom, but still a friend. I'll be fine, okay?"