Scp-049 x Scp-035 [Cheerful]

A Wall Between Us

~SCP-035's POV~

those words began ringing in my ears, did he know what he just said? Is this all a prank in poor taste? I had never thought of the doctor that way, I've only ever though of him as a friend.

My heart began racing and if he had been awake it would have been painfully obvious that I was in panic, I was stuck in this situation I never wanted to be apart of. not once had I thought about my sexuality or even considered the possibility of love and if I ever needed it, was I just creating unneeded drama inside my head, my stomach was burning I felt light headed and sick I was screaming from the inside.

I needed to leave, get outside, run away for a little while... I slowly shifted out of the embrace and headed for the door unable to look at the sleeping doctor, walking to my room I changed putting my boots on and grabbing my jacket as I left for the door.

The rain hit me as I stepped out causing me to lift my hood up to shelter, I began to walk, walk anywhere when I found myself in that park, the park where he broke down to me, my heart ached. 

my legs hurt and began to wobble as I sought refuge on a bench under a shelter, I held myself close in the dead of night and began to cry my eyes out. I promised so much to him but how could I now after knowing he may hold those strong feelings for me of which I wasn't even sure I could return.

I sneezed suddenly through my raging tears of black that ran down my mask, my face. It hit me sooner or later that I should return or I'll catch a cold. standing up after recollecting myself I walked through the mudded snow mixed with rain and dirt, the thoughts left me there and instead I focused on the scenery.

It was so magical with the doctor that night, cold yet warm and the dazzling lights all around made me feel at home as he talked to me, I never got to know the doctor much and there is stills definitely things to be learned, but how he managed to develop feelings for me without even knowing much about me had me in a confused state? 

Was it the time I spent with him? those late nights reading and joking next to the fire place? Or maybe the night he let it out to me..

****

I woke up in bed, the body I possessed aching and my mind blurring, it gave me the most horrible migraine, laying on my side I realised I was back in my room, my boots and jacket next to my room door that had been slightly creaked open, before I had time to have my thoughts registered the one I dreaded the most came in my room a bowl in hand. 

"Oh your awake?" 49 chirped to which I groaned awkwardly, "I woke up last night and you were missing, I checked in your room when I stopped by but you weren't either But when I went downstairs you were passed out on the floor with the front door wide open." i gasped quietly to myself..

"I alerted everyone and we brought you to bed, I was going to come and wake you up since I made some soup for you, the one you liked at that." I looked at the bowl and sat up before mumbling "Thank you." he smiled and passed me the bowl sitting on my bed next to me fumbling with his fingers.

"Why where you out so late?" he asked promptly.

I curled up a little on the bed not really wanting to answer, the doctor however noticed my reluctance and his face turned to that of shock and he looked down, maybe he was aware of the events as well "Would you like some space?" looking back up I thought before noticing maybe I should just go for a gut feeling? don't think. just. go with it? "no, don't leave, I- I want to talk about it." the doctor stared at me wide eyed.

"So it is about what I said?" I nodded, "What.. did you mean by that?" 

"I meant what I meant, I love you. I don't know why? maybe it's the way you speak to me? make me feel wanted and safe? there's just something about you." I smiled and looked down.

"Doctor, that's very nice for you to say, but.." I saw him cringe a little before I continued "I'm not sure about my sexuality or I even feel the same." 

"Couldn't you give it a try?" I looked into his pleading eyes and looked down.

"No, I don't I can't.. I'm, sorry."