𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐭 | 𝚜.𝚛

𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒆 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒏'𝒕 𝒕𝒐𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 P.2

shocked was an understatement

why would he want to talk

he was asking me why I scared off his 'girlfriend' not too long ago

he acted like I was the problem

he blamed me for everything wrong in his life

he hurt me in so many ways

he made me blind with anger that I punched a mirror

he gets under my skin

he knows how to press my buttons

years down the drain because a faceless girl was more important to him than me

he never once called me

or asked if I was alright after I was kidnapped

he had so many other times to 'talk'

why is it when I'm babysitting Jack that's he think it's best to just 'talk

is it because he knows I can't snap at him because there's a kid present?

what was his deal

what the fuck ...

why? just why?

"why?" I asked coldly with a death glare

" i- because- y/n... please, I just wanna talk" he was hesitant anyone can sense and see that

but I did promise this kid hot chocolate

and I intend to keep that promise

unlike other people ...

I nodded

he seemed ... relieved

I scoffed

" you"- I pointed my finger at him accusing "can wait ... I promised Jack hot chocolate and he's gone get it and drink it and I'm taking him back home and waiting until Hotch comes back home and then we'll ... talk" I stated starring at him blankly

he looks scared

it made me smiled

to think you loved him... what a waste...

and for one the voices were right

I wasted my time on him

my every being

my every love

my every piece of energy

my every piece of my well being

wasted and this piece of shi-

"Can we go home now y/n/n?" Jack said holding his empty cup of hot chocolate and a pink nose from standing outside in the cold

Reid was inside holding a table and awaiting my return like an idiot

I did what I promised

I waited a little more until I got a text from Hotch saying he was on his way home

and I took Jack home
cleaned him up, gave him dinner, tucked him in, and picked out a book for his dad to read to him

a sweet cute kid was what Jack was

when Hotch came home

I told him I had to go and I bid my farewell to him

I walked slowly to that cafe he was waiting for me at

he couldn't get a hold of me

I blocked him

on everything

and Garcia wouldn't even help him try to get in contact with me even if he asked

I love that girl

unfortunately, I reached my destination

and I was ready to just ditch him and run the other way

but I decided against it

the bell rang as I opened the door alerting him of my presence at the door

there was a bookshelf behind him and books sprawled out beside him

I couldn't expect anything else to be honest

when I reached the table

I made the calm energy of the nice light academia cafe a hostile vibe

he looked utterly terrified

and that made me kinda content with myself...

"what do you want from me Spen- Reid"

it took him a while to answer me back

45 seconds ...

"you, I want you... I want your time, I want to explain things and I know what I did to you was horrible and cannot be forgiven but i- ... I just want to make amends with you... I miss you-"

he didn't get to finish because I couldn't take any more of this

"no. Reid no. you don't get to do this to me not now, not after- no, I just cant... Reid, you destroyed me know... I spiraled down and was in a funk because of you, you cheated on me... you were my person I couldn't live without but you ruined that you hear. I don't want to hear how heartbroken you've been and how sad you are without me because you miss me when you have Jennifer hanging on your arm every second I turn around... she's married for goodness sake ... your a cheater, a horrible boyfriend, and a homewrecker. I'm being very insensitive I know that but I don't want to hear anything about your sadness when I'm still healing from all the chaos you caused and I know we weren't together when you were shagging Jennifer but you could've at least kept my emotions in check I left because of you, I couldn't handle the sight of you, you disgusted me and right now all I want to do his punch you in that face I once was so fond of..." I whispered-yelled at him sitting back in my seat after taking a breath

he was shocked

stunned

he couldn't speak

it was evident I hurt him

it pained me to do this

but I needed that closure

and I have it but at the expense of his hands not mine

his eyes were telling a story

his eyes I knew too well

but I could decipher this one

he had his wall up

so that I couldn't see his thoughts and it's not like I'm a mind reader but I'm quite good at seeing a story from someone's eyes but as of now I'm just as clueless as the couple sitting next to us ...

and I just wanted to know what he was thinking 

how he was feeling...

he was broken but for an entirely different reason than he was supposed to...

_______

a/n; this is so rushed and rubbish but the next chapter is gonna be Lil bit interesting ;)