Hockey Rivalry

Chapter 23

(⚠️) these next few chapters may be triggering to most people!

Lia

Three am. Christmas morning. I haven't eaten since Saturday when I took a bite of dinner and it's Tuesday.

I feel weak and tired but I'm too scared to sleep. I've probably gotten a total of ten hours in the past few days.

My head pounds. My knees hurt from breaking sticks over then at the rink.

I look at the picture of Lilly and I on my nightstand. She haven't spoken to me or even tried to reach out to me.

I've texted her. Just one word though. Hey. And she read it but didn't answer.

Whenever I move my body aches and feels soar even though I've barely left my bed.

My dad's been acting different since Raquel came.

He still loves her. I can tell by the way he looks at her.

She doesn't love him. She loves money. She doesn't love any of us.

Marissa. I could never hate a little girl. She replaced me.

Raquel's husband. He yelled at me. Telling me I shouldn't speak to the woman who brought me into this world like that. That I'm never going to get anywhere in life with my attitude. That Raquel has done everything for me. Lies. All lies.

My brother is trying to hold all the pieces together and I can tell he's struggling.

Raquel is upset I didn't do a sport like Tennis or something. I've been playing Lacrosse since the beginning of time and I'd expect her to know that but she must've forgotten. My dad had me show them some skills and Raquel and her husband told me it was okay. That maybe I would've been better at bowling. Raquel's husband pulled me to the side and told me that I'm terrible and that I'm never going to be good enough.

I cry thinking about all these things. I can't sleep and I don't want to eat.

Colton plagues my mind. I just want him.

I reach and grab my ukulele propped on the side of my bed.

I strum quietly.

"Somebody said you got a new friend" I sing as quietly as I can.

My heart has been hurting for the past few days. I just want a break.

I decide I need some fresh air and stop singing and strumming.

I stand up my knees feeling weak.

I bring my ukulele downstairs with me and I go to the backyard.

I sit on one of the chairs at our outdoor table and look up at the sky. It looks empty.

It's cold. Very cold.

I start strumming again quietly. I start singing at a different part this time.

"And yeah I know it's stupid. But I just gotta see it for myself. I'm in the corner watching you kiss her, oh oh oh. And I'm right over here, why can't you see me? Oh oh oh. And I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the girl your taking home, ooh ooh oh. I keep dancing on my own." I stop because I can't go on.

I start crying harder.

I feel so tired but I can't sleep.

_____

"Here." I say placing the girls presents gently in Ellie's hands.

I then gather all the guys presents and give them to Toby.