lovely lady may • sirius black

Chapter 6

Did it ever occur to you that he might've been talking about you? Lucy sighs through the phone that I somehow managed to get working here.

"There's no way, Luce. I mean, this girl sounded like she was really something, and we're just friends. I don't think he'll ever see me as anything more than a friend."

But you don't know that.

"I just need to forget about liking him and stick to being friends before things get worse. If I were the girl he was talking about, I'm sure he would've told me how he felt by now, but he hasn't.

Maybe he isn't telling you for the same reason you aren't telling him, he's scared you don't feel the same and doesn't want to ruin your friendship.

"No, that isn't Sirius. He's a ladykiller and he knows it. If he liked me he'd make it abundantly clear just like he has with every other girl he's been with."

Well maybe that's the point? What if the reason he's taking his time is that you aren't like every other girl he's been with? I saw the way he was looking at you at the concert, and that was the look of a boy who is madly in love.

"I think you're being a little dramatic," I huff in frustration, "that's just the way he is. He's a natural flirt. He isn't in love with me."

Octavia, you're one of the smartest people I know, but my God are you clueless.

"I'm not clueless, I'm realistic. Anyway, I met one of Sirius' friends the other day and you would love him."

Stop trying to change the subject but distracting me with boys.

"I'm not clueless. I know exactly what's going on."

Fine. Have you two spoken since you ran off on him?

"No, I haven't had a chance."

How long has it been?

"Like a week or so—"

A week? You left the poor boy and you haven't made an effort to talk to him in a week?

"I haven't had a chance, I've been busy with classes and we don't have a lot of opportunities to see each other during the day outside of class."

Why don't you talk to him in class?

"Because things are complicated here, you wouldn't understand. We're keeping things a secret at school for now."

Well, a little word of advice, talk to him, and cut it out with the keeping secrets. You don't want to lose him. If you're so concerned about your friendship, then you can't just leave him in the dark.

"I'll talk to him today," I groan, "if it makes you happy."

Thank you. Now I've gotta go to school, talk later?

"Yeah, I'll keep in touch."

She has a point, I need to talk to him, and I need to stop letting the whole secret friendship thing stop me. I have to show him that I'm not ashamed to be seen with him.

My lunch break is almost over and it's nearly time to head to to my one afternoon class. I don't know how I'm going to talk to Sirius privately, he's almost never found without his friends surrounding him, so I will just have to get over my fear and talk to him in public. The whole secret friendship thing isn't going as smoothly as I thought it would, and it's time to end it.

When I enter the potions classroom, his group is sitting in the usual spot, and I take a seat with the others from my house.

When class finally starts, Slughorn clears his throat and begins to speak, "...and for today's lesson, I'd like you to work in pairs, and not with someone from your own house if possible..." I carefully glance over my shoulder at Sirius, who's looking straight at me. I smirk at him and he winks at me. This works out perfectly.