the broken deaf soul

the opposite of confidence

!!!WARNING!!!

( This chapter contains suicidal thoughts! Veiwer descression is advised! )

KILLERS POV:

we sit there for around 15 minutes.

Him comforting me calmly.

I could tell that as soon as I saw nightmare, I'd begin to miss him again. But right now..? I felt ok.

I felt calm.

And a little tired..

I just sit in his arms, quietly recovering.

Ink was stroking the back of my head calmly. Humming a soft lullaby.

I give a small yawn before standing up. He looks at me.

"We should start looking.." I state. Trying not to yawn again.

"Are you sure..? We still have plenty of time. And besides, you look tired-"

I stop him

"I'm ok. I promise. Searching for cq is more important" I start walking. Covering my mouth to hide a yawn. Ink quickly gets up, grabs his stuff, and jogs after me until hes beside me.

Ink looks at me.

" are you sure your ok now..? "

I nod. Lying.

I've never loved anyone desides nightmare, and now ink.

So I've never dealt with this kind of heartbrake..

And I guess my way of dealing with it is automatically finding someone new..

Stupid, I know..

I know I still havent gotten over nightmare. And I know I probably never will.. but this is my way of coping.

Though I dont know why...

I'm a villain.

Inks a hero.

He would never love someone like me.. I'm probably just wasting my time.

I could tell he fell in love with error..

So what if hes just being nice to cope..?

What if he still hates me...?

He doesnt love me..

And he never will..

I stop in my tracts. Staring at the floor.

Ink stares at me confusedly.

This isny him loving me..

This is just another one sided love..

No one could love me.. and no one ever will..

"Ink... maybe we should go separate ways.."

Ink seems suprised.

"What..? No..! We dont know what's out here..! And besides. What if you cant find your way back..?"

I stare at the ground.

So what if I dont find my way back..

I could take this off my soul right now and I'd be torn apart. Its lot like anyone would care....

.......

I̴͈̥̟̜ͥͨ̌̈́ͪͩ ̹͚͕͇͎̀̇͑̽ͪ̓͛ͅs̷̮̠h̖̖̙̑ͧ̎͢o̿͏͉̬̼u̗̯͈̰͂̒̾͋̋̌l̻͑̋d̯̖̠ͥ͗̂͗̅ ͥ̽ͣ̑ͬ͗҉͓̱͓̜̤e̞̾̈ͩͤṇ͍ͣ̽ͧ̑ḍ̩̰̙̙͔͎̓ͩ̓ͨ́̈́̏ ̻͔̰̖i͔̪̟̝̔t̠͕̺͕̯͚̯ͧ̄̓

I feel something warm coress my cheek.

I look to see ink looking at me. His hand resting on my face.

"Killer.. I dont know what your thinking. But I want to help you. I really care about you killer. I dont care about all that you've done. Everything you've done today proves just how kind you really are. I admire you killer. I really do. I dont want you feeling like your alone because of all of this. I'm here for you."

..........

Hes lying...

I know he is..

But why does it make me feel relived..?

It doesnt change the fact hes lying-

It doesnt change the fact that I'm nothing to him..

But why does he still make me so happy when I know what hes doing is gonna hurt me..

I'm nothing right..?

"Your making a mistake.."

I whisper.

He looks more worried.

"Your wasting your time..

Nothing can help me.. you dont have to act like you care"

I begin to cry again..

Why is this happening to me..

" act..? Killer.. I'm not acting.. "

Does he really think I'm that stupid..?

N̶̓ͩ̃o̹̪ͦ̓̂ ̭̝̮͈̯̤̦̓̑̓̽o͎̤̰̘ͩ̾̌ͦ͟n̗͎̹ͪ̓ë̲́ ̭̗̥̫̼̪͋͆ͪ̇ͤ͢c̺͉̻̘̔ͯ͞á̭̣̳̥r͔̖̥̹e̜͎̭̊͑š̗̭͇̦̟̓̈ ̨͂̓́̅̔͆f̟͓̹͈ͧo͚̯̱̓ͮͥͣ͋ͣͮr̗͎̳̻͇̟̳ͦͯ̏ͣ̓̍ ͙̹͉̖̩ͣͧͨͫ͛ͣm̮̥͇͔̈́ͮ̒̍͗ë̛̘͈͚̺̳́̒̀ͅ.̻̬̩̹̖̼̗͝.͖̬̮̼͈͙̣̊̌͌̆ͯ

.....

"Do you think I'm stupid...."

He seems caught off guard

"What!? No! Of course not!"

"Then why..."

I look at him

"Why do you still pretend I'm something to you..?

I'm a murderer.

And you act like you care..?

Treating me like this..

Making me feel like someone cares..

Why do you still lie..?"

Ink goes quiet.

He pulls me into a hug. I feel my jacket stain with his tears.

Why is he crying..?

"Killer. This isnt an act..! I really do care for you.. I want to be friends with you, and I dont want you feeling like your not enough....! Your kind. And just because he doesnt like you doesnt mean no one cares. Think of the gang. All of the times you guys had together.

Do you think theyd do all of that if they didnt care..?"

I think.

We had laughed do much..

Held suprised parties for one another, played simple board games, and long movie nights.

They all made me so happy..

They are my family.. there everything to me..

I give in and shake my head.

"Exactly. Your worth it killer. I know life may be hard. But I promise. Things will get better. Talk to me. I'll listen. Your my friend now. I'll do anything in my power to make you happy. Ok...?"

He gives a small, sad smile.

I nod.

He really cares doesnt he.

I give a small smile.

Ink looks up and his eyes light up.

I hear an unfamiliar voice come from behind us.

"Umm.. am I interrupting something..??????" I turn around quickly.

I feel my breath hitch and my heart stop for a split second

Standing there, is a adult girl.

With bright pink hair.