Survivor

Chapter Twenty-One

Meredith paces her bedroom a week later, one hand on her stomach as the other repeatedly makes its way through her hair. She's pregnant with William's child, and his execution is in two short weeks. Weeks that in her mind, can't go by soon enough. 

At this point, word has spread through her house that the baby's father is William Dunn, and no one wants to say a thing to Meredith about it. Derek and Maggie are on duty right now, Derek standing not far from her bedroom door in the hall.

"Did you hear me?" Cristina asks from the bed. The blonde stops pacing at looks at her friend apologetically, she had completely zoned out. brown eyes roll, and the cardio surgeon repeats herself. "I said, they're making me start back at work part-time in two weeks."

"You think I'll still have a death threat over my head by then?" Meredith remarks sarcastically, the stress from everything happening right now coming out as anger and a short temper.

"I wish you didn't have a death threat hanging over your head in the first place." Cristina fires back, two can play at the wittiness game.

Meredith rolls her eyes and sits on the edge of the bed next to her friend, laying back to study the ceiling. Three prescription pill bottles sit on her bedside table, only one of them touched. Both of the prenatal vitamins are unopened, while the Zoloft has been used once or twice. 

"Your appointment is this afternoon," Cristina says, her gaze not leaving the phone in her hands.

Meredith sighs. "I just want this to be over."

"I know. Are you planning on going to his execution?" The cardio surgeon asks hesitantly, now turning to take in the woman on the bed.

"Yes." The blonde answers confidently. "He took the lives of seven women and almost me too, I want to see the life drain out of him."

Cristina frowns, not expecting such dark words to leave Meredith, but smiles slightly at the same time, lying back on the bed as well. "You're all dark and twisty."

At this, Meredith laughs a bit. "I've been dark and twisty for the past seven weeks. You're just now noticing?"

"You were very bright and shiny before, I missed the long nights at Joe's drinking so much we can't see straight."

"Tequila's in the cabinet." Meredith shrugs, pointing across her bedroom.

"You have tequila up here?" 

"I have tequila everywhere. And before you ask, I haven't had any of it since I found out about the baby." Cristina doesn't push her further, the two women content to just sit and enjoy each other's company in silence. It's not long though until Meredith speaks again. "Am I a terrible person?"

"What?" The surgeon sits up. "No, of course not. Why would anyone think that?"

"I-I don't know. I'm getting an abortion in a few hours and I just..."

"Mer, look at me," Cristina demands, and sad green eyes meet brown. "You're not a terrible person. Not in the slightest. You're doing what's best for you, which is the most important thing right now." When Meredith doesn't respond, Cristina frowns. "Are you having second thoughts about an abortion?"

"No, no. It's what's best for you, you're right, I don't want a baby. I-I like think it's what's best for this child too, it doesn't deserve to grow up in a world where it'll only be recognized as what its father has done and I can't give it a decent life. I'm getting the abortion."

Cristina studies Meredith, searching for any signs that she's lying or just saying what she wants to hear. When she finds none, the cardio surgeon relaxes back into the bed again. "Okay."