Anomalies ✔

Chapter Twenty-Two

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO: FIRST

There are few things we should keenly desire if we really knew what we wanted. 
-François de La Rochefoucauld

After climbing into the hot tub, it wasn't long before Jasper pulled me into him to cuddle.

Now I'm sitting in his lap, arms wrapped around his neck, and relaxing against him.

It definitely helps that while the air is colder than the water, Jasper isn't and doesn't make me shiver even as most of me is held above the water.

He's my boyfriend.

Jasper Red is my boyfriend.

This isn't something I expected, not at all.

Jasper clings to his music and poems like he's desperately using them to not feel alone. In a way, I understand that because everyone wants to know they're not alone but in another way I can't. He could have anyone, he could love anyone given the opportunity, that's just the kind of person he is.

He's so...alive.

But he chose me.

So now I understand how it is to hear a song that makes me understand something I can't explain.

Just -holy fuck.

"Castor?" Jasper calls me, nose brushing against my neck.

Would it be too much to ask for a kiss right now?

He's just really adorable and really hot and my boyfriend.

Clearing my throat to break myself from my thoughts, I say "Yes? and hope he doesn't hear the strain in my voice.

"I know I already said this, but you make me happy," He pauses, hands tightening on my sides. "And you're really cute."

I flush, not expecting that but thankful he can't see my face right now. Bringing my legs higher up to his hips, I hold him tighter to me.

"You make me happy too Jitterbug." Pausing, I contemplate for a second before adding, "As a- -bit hot innit- -forewarning, I should say that I don't...know how to be a good boyfriend. And I..."

How do I say this without making him do the internal freaking out thing he does -or make him feel weird about being my boyfriend, given who his last one was.

"I've never had like, a good boyfriend, but I haven't had a bad one either so if I do something wrong you have to tell me." Is how I lamely decide to say it.

"Oh," Jasper mumbles, giving my skin a small peck before pulling away to face me. "Were all your boyfriends in the middle zone, or when you were um, younger or something?"

I know I don't give off the 'forever single' vibes.

And I know he knows I'm not a virgin.

So I completely understand the confusion.

Which makes me just awkwardly laugh and say, "Nah, you're ahead of me in the game."

Before Keres- -fuck that guy- -I know Jasper had one other boyfriend and a girlfriend, but they were both when he was younger too and it couldn't have been a very serious one even if he wanted it to be.

And none of them were his butterfly.

Thankfully, that's me.

Jasper seems to blank, frowning as he stares down at me with confusion heavy in his pale mint colored eyes -trying to figure out what I mean, or having already figured it out and doubting it.