Cotton Candy// Nashton

"You're still okay to me."

(a/n: possibletriggers. we're more than half way through this story.x)
❤

"When I turned 17 and Ni was 18 we had practically found out everything about each other. I thought to myself, 'Wow. Two years.' I couldn't - and still can't- explain how happy and lucky I am to be with -what I think to be- the love of my life. I'm rambling again. I don't even know what to talk about!" I giggled.

I looked over at Niall who looked a bit..uncomfortable. I know what he wants me to talk about next.

"I know it's been like twenty five minutes since I've walked down the aisle and you expect us to get married right away, but I still have a few more stories. This one is about how Niall finally found his self confidence, his self worth, his true smile. Anything you can think of that relates, and he might've found it way back when."

"One day during the summer, Niall and I went to the beach. As I put on my sunscreen I noticed Niall was just standing there, um, awkwardly. Like he didn't know what to do. He was alarmingly skinny at this point. I mean, he ate cotton candy like it was nobody's business, but cotton candy doesn't have the vitamins and other things you need, you know? He was about one hundered and three pounds, and I just remember looking at him and wanting to cry."

I gulped, "He took it the wrong way and asked 'Why are you staring at me like I'm some sort of freak?' I was taken aback. Did I mention he was wearing a baggy sweater?" My voice cracked, "It wasn't baggy when we first met."

I wiped a tear and smiled, "I said I was worried, and he looked down at the sand. I told him to take off his sweater, but he told me no and got really defensive. I hugged him and asked him to come with me, so I took him to the bathroom. We both got in the big stall and I asked him again to 'please take the sweater off' and you know what he did?" 

"He cried. He took the sweater off and I didn't look at him in disgust. I didn't look at him with judgement. I looked at him with love. Just like I do every other day. Yes, his torso was covered in scratches, some formed words like "ugly" and "fatass" and "my fault." His arms were covered in deep cuts. What worried me was how deep they were. If he dug a little deeper I was sure he wouldn't have been at the beach with me."

I wiped my eyes again, "But I just gave him a sad smile and nodded. I gave him a big hug that lasted for about ten minutes - thankfully nobody asked for the big stall- and I told him how much he meant to me. I told him if he were to disappear I would disappear soon after, because I can't go on without him. I told him how much I loved him. I said, "I know people will think you're crazy, love, but you're still okay to me. You're still Niall James Horan, and nothing has changed about you. Maybe your thoughts and your appearance, but you still love me, and your family, and my family, and our friends, and that's all that really matters. I love you very much and I will do anything to see your smile match up with the glint in your eyes."

"He put his sweater back on, and we held hands on the walk back to our belongings. We packed up and went to the milkshake parlour. The old man - he's in the third pew on the left. Hello Rodger!- knew us pretty well, so we'd get our milkshakes half off and our fries for free."

"We talked and talked, but I never brought up what happened earlier in the day because I wanted him to know I loved him as a whole, and not just as a voice." I scooted closer to Niall and held his hand. It was quite cold compared to mine.

"My mum knows this, but I went through something similar. That's how I knew exactly what to say to Niall when I found out. I didn't want him to feel alone. I wanted him to be happy, to not be scared to have so much confidence, to love his laugh, his eyes, his smile, his goofy jokes,and everything else about him that makes him, him. That's where this next story comes in. This next one wasn't just an act of fear, no. I wasn't afraid he would never be okay again. This was purely an act of love. True love."

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