antidote | h.s.

9 - steady, as she goes

harry styles

Well this is only extremely awkward. 

At least it is for me. 

I had to literally force myself to keep my eyes off of Ashton in her dress. She looks fucking amazing, and it's a different dress than she was wearing last night and this morning. I have no fucking clue where she got it if she's been here since last night. 

Apparently Sadie and Ashton are just the best of friends now, which is fucking fantastic for me. 

Sadie looks great too. I helped her pick out the dress, and I think it looks wonderful on her. 

We haven't talked about the whole 'I love you' thing at all since last night, and I honestly don't want to. We left for the wedding early this morning and the forty minute drive up here was basically silent besides the radio playing. 

I refuse to play my music anymore because every single song that plays somehow reminds me of Ashton. 

Whether it's "wow, I think Ashton would like this song," or, "Ashton showed me this song," or even if the lyrics just remind me of Ashton, I can't do it anymore. Especially not with my girlfriend right next to me. 

But of course she had to be here too. And of course she had to be with Bitchass. 

I really can't fucking stand the guy. It started last night when he took Ashton home, and then this morning when the groom was freaking the fuck out and his best man wasn't there because he was probably fucking Ashton in that tiny goddamn dress--

Fuck, Harry, calm down.

The point is, we just started out on the wrong foot. Now every single thing he does pisses me off. 

Then he asked me to give Sadie and Ashton a ride to the venue, like I couldn't take care of my own fucking girlfriend. He's got quite the nerve to suggest that. If he's not careful, all of the pictures the couple gets from today just might have his eyes closed in them. 

"How's Noah, babe?" Sadie speaks up next to me for the first time, pulling me out of my thoughts. 

"He's alright. He was kind of freaking out this morning, but then once all of the guys got there he chilled out a bit," I say, squeezing her hand that she slid into mine at one point during the silent car ride. 

"That's good. Did you go and see Georgia and the girls yet?" she asks me now. 

"Yeah, I took some pictures of everyone getting ready, they turned out pretty good." 

I feel like we should include Ashton in the conversation, but I really don't know how to. That's why I was completely content with keeping the car silent. 

"Well that's good. I think it's going to be beautiful."

"Yeah," I agree, letting the car fall quiet again as we pull up to the venue. I park the car and we all start to get out. 

I thought it was pretty bold to do an outside wedding in the middle of September in Washington, but it looks like they have a tent up to the side just in case it does start raining. It doesn't look like it will, but I've learned with the time I've lived here that the look of the sky doesn't mean a whole lot. It could start raining on the sunniest day in June for like five minutes and then not rain again for five months. That's just how it is here. 

The whole set up is very beautiful, actually. From just the time I've spent with Georgia today, I can tell that she had everything to do with the look of this ceremony. She has a lot of greenery and white flowers, with a touch of light pink, which is also the colors of the bridesmaids' dresses. The men are all tie-less with some off-white dress shirts and grey pants. Everyone looks very relaxed, which is ironic because the dressing rooms I was in were anything but relaxed.