antidote | h.s.

10 - blister in the sun

harry styles

"Harry, you don't get to ignore me all fucking night and then get mad at me when I ask you what's wrong."

Well, the wedding was great. But now Sadie and I are arguing in our hotel room.

"I'm not mad at you, Sadie."

"Then fucking act like it, Harry."

I honestly don't know what went wrong.

I got some really good pictures at the reception, but that's really all I did. I stayed in the corner most of the time and watched Ashton dance with Bitchass. He was fucking groping her in the middle of the goddamn dance floor like it was normal?

I don't know. All I know is it pissed me off. I don't know how that, in turn, pissed Sadie off, but I'm not surprised.

We gave Ashton a ride back to the hotel and made sure she got to her room okay. We offered to stay with her until Greyson got back with the rest of the groomsmen, but she said she would be fine.

It definitely is pissing me off more to think that they're probably having sex right now. And I can't even have sex with my own girlfriend to get my mind off of it because she's mad at me. Fucking fantastic.

"Sadie, all I said was that I'm fine, I don't know what your fucking problem is!" I raise my voice. If I wasn't mad before, I definitely am starting to be.

"My problem? You're the one that was moping around the entire reception like a fucking toddler that just got his goddamn toy taken away! What was wrong with you, Harry?" she yells even louder than I did and I know we're probably going to get a noise complaint, but I can't bring myself to care.

"I was doing my job, Sadie!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't aware that your job description included ignoring your girlfr--" she stops herself, suddenly becoming a little bit quieter, and I know exactly why, "your date... all night."

We haven't established what we are since we've been back together, and her saying I love you to me last night really complicates that, but I'm truly not sure what we are. I've been calling her my girlfriend because that's what I've always called her, but I don't even know if that's what I want with her anymore.

"It wasn't because of you, Sadie. I was just working," I say with a much quieter tone, acknowledging the shift in the atmosphere from her awkward slip up.

I move to sit down at the end of the bed and rip off my dress shoes as she stands up with her arms folded a few feet in front of me, her eyes on anything but me.

"Harry, what's going on here?" she asks suddenly, making me freeze with my left shoe in my hand and look up at her face, full of emotions that I can't really decipher.

"What do you mean?" I question her. I honestly don't know what aspect of 'here' she's talking about. Has she picked up on my obsession with Ashton? Because then I'm fucked.

"Us. What's going on with us?"

"W-- I, um--"

"Because I was under the impression we were fine again, because you told me we were--"

"No I didn't, Sadie," I shake my head, knowing she interpreted my words from when we decided to start things up again all wrong.

"Yes, you said we were doing better so we'd try to be a couple again, those were your words!" she starts to yell again and I counter with a calmer but still stern tone, trying to get her to follow.

"No, I said we could continue to try, I never said anything about being fine again. Honestly I don't think we could ever be fine again, Sadie, don't you understand that I can't fucking trust you anymore?"