chapter eight

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Mid-October

It has been another month of me falling for Eli, and fast. Between both our jobs and classes, Eli and I have only grown closer. The last month has felt like two years in my lifetime.

Eli asked me to be his girlfriend only a week ago, not only was I shocked but I was hesitant. We were studying for our Creative Writing midterm in my dorm when he had asked me. It was perfect, both sitting on my bed close to one another, listening to music through his headphones. I didn't expect any fancy way of asking me or any big ordeal to come from Eli, it wasn't the type of people we were. It was just the right amount of perfect.

Louise seemed to be thrilled for me, still assuming it was all her doing. She has been seeing someone she met from the app too, although she's confessed to me that he can barely hold a conversation. For Louise, that probably won't last long. As for me, I deleted the app the minute Eli took us on our second date. I already knew I wasn't going to need it again.

I was still in disbelief that Eli had possessed feelings for me. I seem to frequently question every good thing that starts to happen to me, specifically Eli saying he wants to be with me. I'm trying to actively work on that, making sure I accept what's happening and not to overthink so much. Overthinking was probably my biggest flaw.

Going over to Eli's house hasn't been as annoying as I thought it might be. The few more times I went over there was usually a party, but Eli and I kept to ourselves up in his room, where I wanted to be the most. Louise often went to the frat parties, so it was extra nice to know we were in the same place for once other than our dorm room.

Eli introduced me to more of his "frat brothers," if that's what you even called them. Some of them were cute, but definitely more Louise's type than mine. It was weird to have Eli introduce me as his girlfriend now instead of just Embry.

I only really had Louise and Eli has friends at this school so far, *maybe* you count Riley here and there. It was still so different than going to high school in Walsh, where I was friends with virtually everyone. I didn't really have anyone else to introduce Eli to as my "boyfriend." But I did't mind it as much as I thought I would.

This was the first boyfriend I have had since Danny, not to mention the only other boyfriend I've ever had. I almost said no to being his girlfriend out of pure fear on being cheated on again. But I knew Eli was different - different from Danny, at least. In the midst of Eli and I making things official, I decided to finally text Danny after weeks of continuing to push it off. We agreed on talking soon when our schedules aligned, I was still busy working at the library and trying to keep up with school. Danny was far from letting up on the situation, continuing to bother Louise about it when he got the chance. I quickly came to realize that there was no point in avoiding it any longer. Even though it was my past, it was my present now.

I had yet to tell Eli about Danny, and I didn't plan on telling him any time soon. Even if that meant things blowing up down the line, I didn't want things blowing up now. Things were still so new with Eli and I that the last thing I wanted to do was jeopardize the good thing we had going. Even though Eli probably wouldn't even bat an eye, I didn't want the chance to be taken any time soon. Come to think of it, Danny didn't know about Eli either. But did he even deserve to?

I currently sat at the university's library attempting to get some sort of work done. My mind continued to juggle both Eli and Danny, as it typically did, but I tried to focus on my computer in front of me. The competition that Professor Sutton had nominated me for has still yet to find its way into my brain. She had emailed me asking for a progress update and I had nothing to give her in return. The deadline was almost just under a month away, which gave me nothing but anxiety and doubt on my ability to write in general. Inspiration seemed to be far from me and I was anxiously awaiting its arrival, if it was ever going to arrive.

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