hearts formed by solicitude and desolation

⌈ 1 ⌋

ᏞᎾᎪᎠᏆNᏩ . . . . .

ᏞᎾᎪᎠᏆNᏩ ᏟᎾᎷᏢᏞᎬᎢᎬ!

you didn't think liking someone would be this difficult. sure you've had crushes before, but it was more of a far away admiration. you could never quite find the courage to pursue the individual, and the thought of actually being around them made the butterflies in your stomach flutter uncontrollably. it made you feel sick, and the nausea was enough to diminish any thoughts of confronting the matter. 

so when you finally came to terms with the feelings you've developed for chishiya, you weren't sure what to do. the blonde was someone you were going to see everyday, and you weren't sure if you'd be able to mask the feelings you had for him. although not as perceptive as you, chishiya was relatively good at reading people, and with the way you acted around him the night prior he'd be sure to figure it out within minutes of seeing you. 

you absolutely hated it. 

it appeared that no matter how hard you tried you always seemed to wear your emotions on your sleeve, displayed for everyone perceptive enough to notice. not to mention in the time that you've known him he hadn't expressed any interest whatsoever in romantic relationships. you recalled the brief moment you had teased him, asking about a girlfriend, and he had simply brushed you off. 

meaning, rejection was inevitable.

you pushed those thoughts away however as you got ready that morning. although you briefly debated the thought of ditching class once more, you did promise chishiya that you'd see him that day. and even if you didn't go, he'd most likely just show up at your door again. you'd rather save yourself the embarrassment. 

after getting changed (you were embarrassed by how many times you switched outfits), you tried your best to eat your breakfast as peacefully as possible, but the thought of seeing the blonde made your stomach twist and turn from how nervous you were. you released a frustrated sigh, dropping your chopsticks and staring at your food. you underestimated just how awkward you were when it came to your attraction for others. suddenly you cared a little too much about your appearance, and those damn butterflies refused to fly away. you just prayed that it would go away soon.

that was not the case, however, as each step closer to your classroom made your nerves grow to the point where it was hard to breathe. you fiddled with your hands as you stood before the door, not being able to move any further than that. the thoughts from that morning returned, hundreds of questions with little to no answers. did you look okay? did you look awkward standing in front of the door? you never really cared about how you looked in front of chishiya, but as you were getting dressed that morning you realized you had unconsciously been pulling on nicer clothes and picking at your hair.

taking a deep breath to settle your nerves, you reached your hand towards the door handle before stopping midway. maybe you should wait another moment longer, or at least check if he was there already. just to prepare yourself. cautiously, you peeked through the window on the closed door, giving a small sigh in relief upon seeing the empty seat. you ignored the part of you that was disappointed that he wasn't there yet.

"what are we looking at?"

your hand shot up to your ear, eyes meeting that all too knowing smirk as you backed away from him in surprise.

"chishiya! you can't just sneak up on people like that!" you managed to squeak out. you could still feel his hot breath fanning against your skin, reminding you of that day when you both had ditched class together. why did it have to feel so good? why did everything chishiya did make you like this? could he hear how hard your heart was beating right at that moment?