lookalike || R. LUPIN

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

★★★

"It's the cut that always bleeds."

★★★

Things felt strange around the castle since Remus left. Of course, every other student walked around without a single thought towards the missing boy, but Charlie couldn't seem to ignore the fact. His absence stuck out like a sore thumb. 

When something funny happened in class or a student made a fool of themselves, Charlie would laugh and automatically turn towards Remus' empty seat. Where they used to meet eyes, chests filled with the warmth of mutual understanding and companionship, there was now only one person laughing, who would quickly quiet down.

"Remus!"

The boy quickly turned on his heel, catching eyes with the taller boy sprinting down the hallway. Charlie halted to a stop in front of Dumbledore's office, where Remus planned to Floo to his family's house. He was slightly out of breath from the run, but he had wanted to say goodbye before it was too late.

"Charlie," Remus looked relieved to see a familiar face, but his eyes still portrayed a sadness that wouldn't go away that easily.

"I- uh, I just wanted to say goodbye, you know," Charlie stuttered, realizing how strange this must seem, "Before you leave."

Remus looked surprised at the revelation, but glad nonetheless. A soft smile graced his lips as Charlie ran a nervous hand through his hair.

"Sorry, this is stupid, I should—"

"No, no," Remus assured him, "I think it's sweet."

The two stood in silence, soaking up each other's presence before it was too late.

"Oh! I wanted to," Charlie fumbled around his jacket pocket for a minute, before revealing a pair of gloves, "Return this."

Remus had given him the gloves during a Quidditch game a couple of weeks prior. Charlie had come to the game completely unprepared for the harsh winds that beat against the stands, and Remus pitied the boy and the way the cold caused his hands to shiver violently. He said that he wasn't that cold anyways, but what were numb hands in comparison to making sure Charlie was warm?

The gloves sat between them, an understanding of what had happened, an excuse to see him one last time, a plea for him to stay. A final goodbye.

Remus completely ignored his outstretched hand and charged forwards, wrapping his arms around Charlie's chest. He pressed his ear to him, feeling his heartbeat bump against the side of his face. Charlie wasted no time in reciprocating, holding Remus tightly against him, rubbing his back soothingly.

"I know you have heard this too many times, but it'll all be okay, Remus."

Maybe it wouldn't be okay. Maybe his mother would die. Maybe things would fall apart, and their world would go to shit. But for now, they had to believe it would all be okay.

Not because they truly thought it would be. Because they had to believe it would be okay. Because the alternative was nearly unimaginable. Because if it wasn't okay, then what would it be?

So they stood there, holding each other tightly, savoring their last moments of warmth and peace in their fucked up situations, until it was time for Remus to go. He spared one last glance at Charlie and a nod before walking into Dumbledore's office.

Charlie still had Remus' gloves clenched tightly in his fist.

The world seemed gloomier than usual to Charlie. His friends noticed, too. They tried to cheer him up, and it worked most of the time, but at the end of the day, as he lay in bed awake, his heart couldn't help but to ache with worry.

★★★

Sirius told him that Hope Lupin had died earlier that week.

Charlie didn't know whether or not he should send a letter with his condolences. On one hand, he wished Remus to know that his friends were there for him, that he was there for him. But what help could such niceties do in times like these?

Their society was falling apart. That Voldemort character hasn't stopped his rampage, and Charlie feared for his family's safety. He had placed protective charms on his muggle family's home, but there was only so much he could do. That small voice always echoed in the back of his mind: what if it isn't enough?

Their world was darker than he had ever seen it. Charlie, along with nearly all of his friends, prayed for a sign that things would be alright. They wanted to help fight the evil that was plaguing them, but they didn't know how.

Anti- Muggle graffiti littered the hallways, despite the Professors' best efforts to erase it. Muggle-borns were getting hexed left and right. Rumors of Unforgivable curses and whispers of insanity floated around the stone hallways, chilling the students to the bone. Why should they be the ones suffering for one man's madness?

They were only kids, after all.

The moment their childhood really and truly ended was the moment that Headmaster Dumbledore summoned them into his office. 

★★★

PART TWO: THE ORDER (AND THE DISORDER). 

★★★

yahoo, here comes part two!!! this next part will focus more on the war and its effects, so grab your tissues. things are getting serious folks (wink wonk)

go drink some water, take your meds, and eat some good food hotties :)

as always, please leave a comment if you like this I am a slut for attention <3 

-a.d.