Ask Death (DIMBFF)

Big D

Em: Oy. Wake up. You got some questions to answer! Wake up. Aren't you excited? I'M EXCITED. Hey. Hey. Heeeey.

*kicks sleeping Death*

*kick*

*kick*

Death: WHAT THE HELL?! Leave me alone, I'm trying to sleep. Go away. Shoo.

Em: I see. So... you DO want your groin to be cut off. Hmkay. I'll just go away, tell Kat, and watch you suffer. Heh heh.

Death: I'M UP. I SAID I'M UP! ARE YOU DEAF? MAYBE BLIND? F*ck this is torture. 

Em: Good, then. Let's proceed. >:]

Q: Heyyy death, if you were a rapper, what would your name be?

Death: That's easy. *snickers*  I would call myself Big D *wink*

Em: What

Death: What?

Death: Or the Grim-rapper, that would be great too. 

Q: What would you do if you turned into a girl?

Death: Actually, I HAVE turned into a girl a multiple times. You should've known that by now. It was pretty fun actually, the first time I tried it. Of course first, I examined the body. Then I touched the b-

Em: OKAY, we know where this is going. Next question.

Death: I was gonna say BACK. I touched my back-

Q: Who do you think has a better booty, Nicki Minaj, Iggy Azela, Jennifer Lopez, or Kim Kardashian?

Death: Hmmm.. I'm not really impressed by their fake ass, but I would like to smack Kim's. Actually, I HAVE smacked her butt once. Dumb b*tch didn't even notice. HAH.

Em: That's just mean. And I did not need to hear that.

Q: I want a sandwich too!

Death: This is not even a question! Go and make your damn sandwich.

Em: That's rude! >:( You didn't even make that sandwich.

Death: Then go and make her a sandwich. Damn.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x  x x x x x x x x x  x x x x x x x x

Em: SO! We didn't receive any dare yet. And because of the free space here, and Death was a bit rude earlier,  he will teach how to make a mean sandwich! Yaaaaay.

Death: ...right. *sigh* 

Em: Well, what are ya waiting for? Get started! 

Death: Ugh... Okay. First, prepare your ham or bacon or burger patty,  whatever floats your boat. Make sure it's cooked already or if you wanna eat a f*cking raw meat then go ahead, I don't give a sh*t if your tummy hurts and your crap turns rock hard.

Then prepare the disgusting sliced tomatoes and spinach and any leaf from your garden. Your mayonnaise, ketchup, actually, put anything you want in that damn sandwich, idgaf.

So, first, you check that bread if it's still okay because nobody wants a moldy bread, man, that's digusting. Then you SMACK that bread in a clean plate.Then you carefully place the meat on top of it.

You might wanna throw the leaves and tomatoes in the trash can, because nobody wants those garbage! Yuck. YOU'RE A CARNIVORE! YOU DON'T EAT LEAVES. YOU'RE NOT A GOAT! Now SQUIRT that mayo or ketchup or mustard into that fine and attractive bread. Now you place another bread on top of your masterpiece. And voila, there's your mean sandwich. *secretly casts magic to make it look and taste beautiful*

Sandwich: You're ugly

Em: ...oh. It really is mean.