Ask Death (DIMBFF)

how to cook spag

Em: Bonjour, audience *touches mustache* *stares at the camera*

ah welcome to our kitchenni. It's-a me, Em-a. Todayi, we will cook *raises spatula* we will-a cook, wiv-a eh, Daveed Istarrr.

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*crickets noise*

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Em: *clears throat* I vill repeat, DAVEED ISTARRRRRRRRRRR

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Em: *sighs* oy.. Fine... MASTER CHEF DAVEED ISTARR.

Audience: *claps*

Death: *teleports to the kitchen* Thank you thank you. NOW LET'S GET COOKING *gets something inside his cloak*

CHING *raises a very sharp and horrifying butcher's knife*

Em: *ducks*

Audience: YAY

Em: Ok, but-a before that, my friend, we should teach them the proper attire inside the kitchenni.

Death: Ah, of course. *keeps the butcher's knife back in his cloak* *puts on apron and a chef' toque* NOW LET'S GET COOKIN

Em: WAIT. Ugh seriously. Are you gonna wear your cloak inside the kitchenni???

Death: HOW DARE YOU. YOU HAVE OFFENDED THY CLOAK.

Cloak: Bitch I'm far more precious than you

Death: See?

Em: But I introduced you as David Starr, shouldn't you be David Starr by now?

Death: THIS IS MY KITCHEN I DO WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT. And at least I don't wear fake mustache, and do fake French accents.

Em: fak u

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Em: Alright, after you put on your kitchen costume, you wash your hands. WASH IT, WITH SOAP.

Death: Yeah, yeah. Everyone knows that already stfu, you're boring them to death. *stares at the audience* DO YOU WANT ME TO COOK SOMETHING FOR YA???