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After I left I was driving in silence crying to myself. I thought everything was fine last time we talked but I guess I thought wrong.
The miscarriage is what really set it off with everything. That's nobody's business and I confided in her just for her to talk shit behind my back and tell my business.
The miscarriage was about 5 months ago and yes it was Langston's baby. I didn't even know I was pregnant but one night I woke up cause I was cramping real bad and it was a lot blood.
I was living with Ciara at the time so she called the ambulance and once they were done helping me they told me I was 6 weeks pregnant and I had a miscarriage. They said it was mainly because of drug and alcohol abuse. That's what really made me stop and focus on my well being. And the real reason why i haven't been drinking since.
I never told anyone else cause it's embarrassing and it's not one of my special moments. I didn't tell Langston because I didn't want him looking at me differently or treating me differently even though he had the right to know.
It's funny how they believed a person who they haven't even known for a month over someone that they grew up with or been around a lot.
❏❏❏
"What happened?" Gabrielle asked.
"Nothing I'm fine." I wiped my tears and closed my room door.
I took a shower and went to straight to sleep until I woke up the next day.
When I woke up it was past 2:00pm and I missed calls from my mother, grandmother, Amari, Langston, and Nahmir.
"Chantelle are you okay?" Gabrielle knocked on the door.
"You can come in I said going to my bathroom closing the door to do my routine.
"Chantelle come out."
"Wait." I said as tried to finish up brushing my teeth and washing my face.
When I finished I laid back down on my bed staring at nothing in particular.
"Did you cry yourself to sleep?"
"Maybe." I mumbled.
"What happened at the dinner? I thought it was supposed to fun." She said.
"Doesn't matter. My feelings never matter to them anyway." I mumbled.
