Trust

Chapter 23

March 2017 | N O W | Shame

"Remember when we used to sit at your house and open up about three to four random bottles of wine, and sit up all night watching horrible Lifetime movies until the bottles were empty?" I asked Kellie as I sit on the passenger side of her car, staring out of the window at the moving vehicles passing by.

            I can most definitely admit that I've been feeling the motions lately, and nothing seemed to be going right for me. I stayed in the house a lot and it's only because I was just going through an emotional rollercoaster. I mean, who wouldn't after finding out that the man that you loved so much was having yet another scenario with the sister that you wanted to trust with everything in you? To have this happen to me all over again was like a repeat of my relationship with Charleston. It was like I couldn't escape it, no matter how much I wanted to. The shit was just draining. And honestly, if I could go on about life and pretend that it didn't bother me, as if I'd never met Sterling and never had a sister who stabbed me in the back multiple times, I would. Monice just had a way of stabbing me and twisting the knife to make sure it hurt the most.

            "Yea, I remember that." Kellie said to me, breaking my focus on the passing cars. I turn to her and smile, seeing that she was looking at me for a moment before smiling back at me and putting her focus back onto the road. "We should definitely do that tonight." She suggested.

            "I can always see if my parents will watch Grayson for me." I say.

            "Sure."

            Kellie has been the most supportive through the whole situation. Despite me having a rival with Monice, it's been hard to talk to my parents about it because I didn't want to alarm them that we were fighting again. Most would say fuck Monice, tell on her and let our parents know just how fucked up their daughter is, but it still won't help my situation. It won't help the fact that I loved Sterling so much. It won't stop the hurt. The hurt that they'd both given me. Telling our parents would be good for how long? About a few hours? Then I'm back to feeling like shit all over again with nothing to gain. Besides, Monice could get away with murder, if it happened. I was the least of anyone's concerns. I was just going to have to deal with this alone—of course with Kellie by my side.    

            My mind just kept playing on the moment where Monice told me that she wasn't the one that I needed to worry about. No matter how much I wanted to forget about it, I was definitely alerted. What could I do with that piece though? I was talking to neither of them, and as far as my concern, Sterling and I were sort of over. Or, at least that's what I had told myself up until I started to sit up and think things over. Sometimes, I feel like I could have been overreacting and most times, I feel as though I'd done the right thing by kicking Sterling out. It needed to be done. This was my fiancé and my sister. The shit was disgusting and betraying.

            I'd called up my mom and asked if she could keep Grayson overnight and upon her agreeing that it was fine, Kellie pulled into Musselwhite's parking lot. I could instantly smell the food. I felt like a pig once the smile had crept upon my face, realizing that I was about to attempt at ordering up everything on the menu. It's been a while since I've been here and I could definitely taste the gator tail on my tongue.

            "I still can't believe that I let you drag me out of the house. You know I'd prefer we eat something at your place." I say, trying to downplay my hunger.

            Kellie sucked her teeth and laughed.

            "Girl, you needed to get out of the house. You've been stuck in there for days. And besides, what kind of friend would I be if I didn't motivate you to get up and get out?" She said to me before opening up her car door to get out.