Trust

Chapter 7

January 2017 | N O W | Is It The Way

I'd just finished washing and setting the dishes out to dry overnight when I turned around from the sink to see Grayson still seated to the table, slowly finishing up his dinner.

He reminded me so much of Charleston and how he sat in silence at times, in deep thought. It was very apparent that Grayson was thinking of something and as much as I didn't want to interrupt his thoughts, I couldn't help but wonder what he was in such deep thought about at 5 years old.

Smiling at how innocent Grayson was, I sat down right next to him as he stuffed a fork full of hamburger into his mouth and started chewing. He noticed me sitting next to him and looked directly at me before looking back down at his plate. Just the fact that he looked so much like me and not his father made me giggle a little. I swear, I loved being a mother entirely too much to the point where I felt that I annoyed Grayson at times.

"What are you over here in deep thought about?" I asked him, still smiling.

He finished chewing and set his fork down, letting out a deep sigh.

"I'm scared, mommy." He admitted.

"Why? Are you still nervous about going to Barbados for your birthday?" I asked. He nodded and looked straight ahead. "Well, you've never been there before so I do expect for you to be nervous and scared. It's going to be your first time flying somewhere."

"But why do I have to fly? I don't have wings yet." He complained.

I laughed a little at his preciseness in every word he used.

"Well, it's not literal, baby. You're going to be on an airplane with your Aunt Jacquie. She's going to be right there with you. She has to go and visit your dad and grandmother too." I explain.

"But you're not going to be there and you're always there on my birthday."

"I understand that, but because I'm always with you on your birthday and your father isn't, it's not fair to him. He asked me years ago if he can have you spend time with him for your birthday. He wants to celebrate with you. He's your parent too and without him, you wouldn't have been gifted to me. You're going to love it there, I just know it. You just have to give it a chance. You're only going to be there for 7 days."

He let out a tiny sigh, expressing his tenseness furthermore.

"Sterling and I will Skype with you every day that you're there."

The room had gone silent for a little moment.

"Okay." He smiled.

"I love that you're very understanding, Grayson. You're going to love it, I know you will. I loved it when I visited. There's a lot of fun things to do. There's also children in the neighborhood that you can play with. You have cousins there, too and they cannot wait to finally get a chance to meet you." I encourage him.

"Are they the same age as me?"

"I believe they are. You should ask your dad when you Skype with him tomorrow. You've got two more months here before you go there. You shouldn't worry so much about it."

"Okay."

"Hurry and finish the rest of your dinner so that you can wash up for bed. I'm about to take a quick shower. Knock on the door when you're finished." I tell him, trusting him downstairs all by himself.

Leaving Grayson room to feel like he's being independent made him feel better and it took me a minute to realize that about him. It made me feel some type of way when he'd suggested that he started getting his hair cut like Sterling because he hated getting his hair done. I loved how long his hair had grown and just got used to it. But seeing him with his haircut made me feel like he was growing up way too fast and I just wanted him to stop. This was also why I was allowing for him to travel to Barbados with Charleston's sister; because I wanted him to realize just how much he'll miss me and need me within a week.