never existed :: niccolo rossi

dear nicco

letter she left for him:

Dear Nicco,
I feel like I became obsessed with you over the past four and a half months.
And it's strange because I don't know that much about you. I don't know your favourite colour, I don't know what you wanna do when you're older, I don't know if you really loved Virginia like she loves you.

But I know this much. I know that my infatuation with you was reciprocated.
I know that you are kind. You're existence won't allow you to be unnecessarily awful to people that you know. I guess that's why you didn't want to get to know me at first. And I guess that's why you refused to break up with Virginia.

You care so much. You cannot put yourself first and I don't know how you do it. I think that's why we worked well together. You're a selfless guy who is always thinking of others and I am a selfish girl who craves attention. I mean you communicated with my friends overseas just to help me, a girl you barely know. That sounds pretty selfless to me.

Meeting you has revealed to me that I am quite self-adsorbed. I've never been able to acknowledge it before and that's because no one has really challenged my way of thinking. But you have.

You did. Despite your cockiness and overall smug attitude, you are socially aware. And never have I been able to admit my flaws to myself before meeting you. You're lack of attention to me annoyed me. And drew me to you. I guess I like what I can't have.

But it was more than that. I love your smile and the way that you will look at me as we pass each other. I like that only we know what we have done together. I like your eyes, they're so goddamn dark and deep. I love the way you make me angry and I love the way we fight. But I love the way you have made me find myself, which was essentially the whole idea of this trip.

I suppose I sound selfish again, like I've used you for my own benefit. But I'd like to believe that my being here, and our love has done something for you too. And if it hasn't then I clearly have gotten everything mentioned wrong.

I love you Niccolò. You are one of a kind. But we could never be each other's forever. Besides, we're only 17, what the fuck do we know?

I put the paper down. This letter was so long I swear. I cannot believe this girl wrote a letter.

A motherfucking letter.

Have she really been doing this under my nose the whole time? I thought she was better than that. But I guess not.

Having her here at my house was a mistake. She spent so much time around Chiara and Ludo's group of friends, they're probably who helped her find herself. That group is fucking weird. Odio Ludovica. (I hate Ludovica.)

I just cannot get past the fact that Bella has been in love with my brother this whole time. And how did I have no clue?

.
a/n
ngl this is not my best work. I started it a while ago and finished it only recently so it may feel like the writing style changes? Idk.
Also, after rereading my book and looking at some your comments I realised that this book is quite weak. Whilst the aim of my book was to reveal that not all endings are happy or complete ones and that characters need to have flaws to show development, I realise that it may have been underwhelming!
So I'm very sorry to those of you who didn't enjoy Never Existed, though I did enjoy crafting the storyline and the characters.
Thanks for you ongoing support and perhaps one day I'll come back and edit my book to cleanse it if it's inaccuracies.
bye for now!
- c