admiration . sakusa kiyoomi! ✓

brother's advice

[20:21]

yo

kiyoomi said he's going
to meet u at 10 sharp

he's excited

omg

✿

quickly seeing the text that komori sent, you jumped out of excitement. finally, sakusa agreed to meet you so you could talk whatever the hell you two needed to talk about. thank goodness.

knowing that he actually said yes and agreed to komori's offer was outstanding for you. for someone who is a bit on the quieter side, it didn't fail to shock you on how he agreed.

sakusa saying yes made your heartbeat jump in and out of your chest. it's a small step but a step nonetheless. with his personality, it's not going to be a surprise if he asks you to take baby steps with him; but it's okay, cause you'll be by his side, holding his hand the whole time.

you just wished he knew and acknowledged that. him saying you liked him out of pity was a huge arrow in the heart. it hurt a little bit but who could blame him? no one could ever fully understand another's feelings. even if you date and love over and over again, you will never perfectly understand emotional states.

sakusa— well, omi-kun was just amazing per se. yes, he was just some persona sakusa used, but it was still him. him as in germ-hating, curly black hair, mask-wearing sakusa. omi-kun definitely covered up his gray area who was a bit rude and definitely showed that he didn't like you that much (which was a complete lie now that we've learned.)

it was late in the evening, around 10 pm, a few hours after you received the text from komori. might've been a long time since the text but your lungs were being used more than usual. you were breathing faster due to excitement and nervousness.

what if he just turns you down while you're there? what if you both get defensive when it comes to feelings? what if you both were too scared to admit feelings at all?

it was apprehensive. you could think about 100 ways of what could go wrong with you two meeting; make it 101 if he doesn't even come at all. with sakusa, it was hard to tell what he sticks with (except volleyball, of course.) but with this feelings thing? let's expect hesitation the most from the boy.

you hastily got up from your bed due to moping and picked out an outfit for tomorrow. yes, it was early, but you needed the time to think rather than picking an outfit tomorrow. you came up with the outfit that included a jeans and a shirt... as simple as you can get.

you hung the outfit on the back of your door, "is it okay to wear? sakusa has so much good outfits, i don't even know if this is enough," you said to yourself but you immediately shook your head right after, "oh gosh this is going to be-"

you were interrupted by the sound of your bedroom door opening, the clothes falling from the back. it was your brother, looking around your messy room, "damn was there a tornado in here or something?" he said.

"get out."

he grabbed your hoodie off the floor and threw it straight at your face, an eyebrow raising, "your room is a mess. clean it before mom sees."

you nodded without so much looking at him, "i'll clean it later."

"she's going to make you sleep in the streets."

"ha-ha. funny." you rolled your eyes.

your brother came into your room and sat on your bed, "what's the occasion? you have clothes out and," he picked up some of the accessories laid out on your dresser, "accessories... what's going on?"

you took the accessories from his hand and put it back on the dresser, "nothing. i'm just meeting with a friend tomorrow at the park," you shrugged, "that's all."

he raised his eyebrows, "who?"

"who—" you mocked.

"you're annoying," he said, "who is it?"

"komori's cousin." you answered.

"oh!" he vocalized, "sakusa? you're meeting with one of the best aces in highschool?! did you sell your soul to meet him or something?" he started asking, interested.

"kind of," you laughed, "but we're just friends. i think? we— well i think he still does, we like each other, i guess? but he was too much of a coward to say something and i accidentally hurt his feelings." you explained, "so i'm meeting him tomorrow to apologize or talk, whichever."

"oooo, so it's technically a date, huh? if you get a boyfriend by the end of tomorrow, i'll be shocked. and to think it was sakusa kiyoomi!" your brother exclaimed, "i didn't expect this from you."

"expect what?"

"for you to pull a good guy, obviously." the boy said, "but be careful, alright? feelings hurt a lot and one wrong word could be the end of everything. just keep that in mind." he orated as he patted your back.

you looked at him with a small smile on your face, "thanks. i'll keep that in mind."

"alright... well i'm going to go somewhere," your brother looked around the room, "anywhere but here... by the way, does mom know about this meeting?"

"u-uh," you looked down at your feet, "no she doesn't. but please, don't-"

"oh??? you didn't tell mom?"

"i don't see why i need to."

"so should i tell her?"

your eyes widened, "no! you fucker! it's a stupid thing and mom gets all... weird about boy stuff."

he rolled his eyes at your words. he wanted to laugh at your reaction, "what's in it for me?" he asked, "would i get some sort of... thing if i keep your secret that you so gracefully shared?"

you heaved a sigh. why did i even bother telling this asshat about sakusa?

"how about i buy you a whole pack of the takoyaki you like... all the way from shinjuku... please!"

"hmmmmmmm....."

"please don't tell mom."

"i won't tell her," he finished your sentence, "don't worry." the boy smiled before closing your bedroom door and leaving.

your older brother, though he was a pain in the ass, you still loved him nonetheless. he acted as a parent for you when your parents were busy. him giving you that simple yet thoughtful advice made your heart warm.

you looked at the time, 22:49, you heaved a sigh and cozied up in bed. you turned off the bedside lamp and went under the covers.

less than twelve hours till you see him.

less than twelve hours till you become vulnerable.

"here goes nothing."