𝔢𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔩 ☽ 𝔩𝔲𝔫𝔞 𝔩𝔬𝔳𝔢𝔤𝔬𝔬𝔡

iv. p r o f e s s o r u m b r i d g e

Dolores Umbridge was by far the worst woman I had ever met.

She looked just like a toad, but imagine the toad is a six year old girl. She wore pink from head to foot. She had an awful pink velvet bow on her head, front and center, a dress in the most gruesome shade of magenta imaginable, an ugly pink shawl in the same putrid shade of magenta, and disgusting salmon coloured heels that looked as though they were from a toddler's princess costume.

If this wasn't enough to hate her for everyone else, she immediately told us to put our wands away. She then proceeded to tell us not to talk, and read Defensive Magical Theory. Even worse, Chapter One- Basics for Beginners. Does that ugly old hag not know we're in fifth year?

Worst of all she spoke in a sickly sweet voice, and had an annoying fake cough she used to interrupt. Her smile was so fake, I'm not sure why she bothered with it.

And now she's not even letting us use magic! We go to a bloody magic school! Did we not come here to learn witchcraft and wizardry? Hogwarts is the one place kids are allowed to use magic and she wants to take it away now.

She refused to call on me and after having my hand raised for five minutes I finally spoke up.

"Professor, how can we learn the spells if we can't actually use our wands?" I asked and the whole class looked at umbridge.

Her ugly toad head snapped up from her desk and she flashed her sick smile.

"It is impolite to call out in class miss..."

"Venus Adler" I finished.

"Miss Adler. It is rude to speak in class when you are not called on" she said in her awful girly voice.

"Well I'm sorry but if you hadn't ignored me I wouldn't have needed to call out" I said matter of factly.

"You can take that back-talk straight to detention miss Adler" she smiled and looked back down.

"What? I didn't do anything wrong!" I imitated her smile and sweet voice, not wanting to show how angry I was.

The class laughed but Professor Umbridge's smile was gone now.

"You will be joining Mr. Potter and who I assume is your brother in detention tonight" she said sternly.

"Leo's got detention too?" I asked. "What did he do?".

"I guess the attitude runs in the family doesn't it? Yes I've met your mother at the ministry" she was smiling again but her sweet voice was gone.

"And I guess the ugly toad face runs in yours?" it had slipped out before I could stop it.

The class gasped and her smile vanished once again.

"You just earned yourself a full week's detention" Umbridge was no longer speaking sweetly, but angry.

I imitated her smile once again.

"Well I can't wait to party with you professor".

☽

"Venus, how did you get detention too?" Leo asked as I stepped into Umbridge's office that night.

"I called out in class" I shrugged.

He nodded.

"And talked back"

Leo and Harry stared at me.

"Then I called her an ugly toad" I grinned at the boys. "So she told me I earned myself a week's detention" I shrugged again. "And I told her I can't wait to party with her."

Leo laughed and Harry grinned.

"I don't think she likes me very much," I said sadly. "I don't know why, I'm an angel. What did you do leo?".

"Well if I had known she was going to be so strict I wouldn't have done it" he sighed. "I helped the twins with a prank. It was stupid really. But I got caught so I covered for them."

"I guess I told lies," Harry laughed. "I love to tell everyone that Voldemort returned and killed Cedric. But of course it's not true, I just like the attention" Harry laughed.

"She's such a bitchy old hag," I gasped. "We should call her professor Umbitch," I grinned.

"Definitely fitting," Leo smirked and Harry nodded.

But our conversation was rudely cut short as Umbridge walked in.

"Good evening, children," she smiled.

I glared at her and rolled my eyes as the boys said, "good evening professor."

Umbitch stared at me. I crossed my arms and stared her down. She smiled and cocked her head to the side waiting for me to greet her.

Leo and Harry looked at each other then back and forth between the two of us. Leo nudged me in the rib.

"Good evening, professor," I said sarcastically. "I missed you bestie."

She chose to ignore me.

"Well, sit down," she said, pointing to a small table draped in an ugly lace tablecloth, where three pieces of blank parchment sat.

"Er" Harry started. "Professor Umbridge, I wanted to ask you a favor before we start."

"Oh, yes?" she narrowed her bulging eyes.

"I'm on the Gryffindor quidditch team, I was supposed to be at the tryouts for the new Gryffindor keeper at five o'clock on Friday and I was wondering if I could skip detention that night and do it another night instead."

"Oh, no" her smile widened. "oh, no, no, no. This is your punishment for spreading evil, nasty, attention-seeking stories-"

I scoffed. They all turned to stare at me. Leo shook his head.

"That's funny, I didn't know you were there with Harry. So you know firsthand that he's lying do you? Or are you just listening to your boyfriend spreading lies about Harry?"

"Boyfriend?" her smile faltered slightly.

"Oh, nevermind" I imitated a sympathetic look. "The Minister doesn't want to bang the old toad" I smiled and cocked my head like her.

Her smile turned into a nasty glare.

"That is another week's detention, Miss Adler."

where did that sick burn come from dude 😧