Enemy's Woman

Chapter 64 - Rebuilding

Chitra kept lying inside her blanket all day.

She stirred occasionally only when the healer came to check on her or one of the maids arrived with a tray of food. She pretended to sleep until she was alone.

It's not like she was sleeping. She was unable to sleep due to fear. Whenever she closed her eyes a towering violent figure appeared tormenting her. She didn't want to talk to anyone and answer prying questions.

She heard the opening of doors and pretended to be lying still in bed.

"I know you are not sleeping Chitra." Shiv's voice called out.

Her heart pounded against her ribcage. Shiv.

"I know the way you breathe, it's as familiar as my breathing."

Chitra hugged the sheets a little closer, closing her eyes.

"Please, look at me." He asked softly.

She sighed and rolled back over, lifting her face slightly to meet his gaze.

Shiv looked at Chitra's pale face, she looked thinner than usual.

"Talk to me Chitra, please."

She felt the bed mattress sink as he sat down next to her.

"There is nothing to say Shiv, you saw what happened. You must leave me. I am not pure anymore." She said.

"What rubbish are you talking about." He replied impatiently.

She sat up on the bed. Her long hair was open and flowed around her. She wasn't wearing any jewellery. He liked her more when she used to dress simple.

"You heard him right? He said he has ruined me! So it means I am tainted, I can't be with you. You must banish me."

"Why should I believe him?"

"Why not?"

"It doesn't matter!" He ran his hand through his hair. He was tired of reasoning with her.

"It matters to me!" She was still defiant.

"Chitra it won't work. You are simply trying to push me away."

"What else should I do Shiv? You expect me to stay with you, and pretend as if nothing happened when you won't even look at me?" she asked hotly.

"I look at you, what nonsense is this?" Shiv said, looking up at her defiantly.

"Yes, but the shame in your eyes, don't you understand that it hurts me? Is it not enough that I have to live with that memory, and endure your look of shame as well," hot tears leaked from her eyes once again.

"Chitra that is not my intent! The shame I feel it is not your shame, it is my own! It was I who failed to reach you in time..." He looked angry as well as frustrated.

"I don't care about.....whatever happened. It doesn't matter. You are my wife and will remain so. Thats it. " He had a determined look.

"It's all my fault Shiv, the attack the deaths everything was my fault. He did all this to get me. How will I live with this guilt? I should have known. I was a fool to trust him after he tried to get close before our wedding." She blurted out.

Shiv narrowed his eye.

"He did what?"

Chitra realized her folly. She had not told this to anyone, not even Poonam. Perhaps that was her mistake.

"Before our wedding, he came to my room and.....and he tried to...he kissed me." She covered her face and sobbed.

Shiv clenched his fists.

"Why didn't you tell me this earlier?"

"I am sorry Shiv I was scared. I was scared that you would get angry, and not trust me. I am responsible for this." She cried.

"Stop blaming yourself Chitra, Vikram is a monster who did terrible things and he will be punished for it. You are just another victim. I don't care whatever happened."

She removed her hand from her face.

"You don't understand. You are going to be a King someday. What kind of queen would I make if I don't even possess a clean character."

"You would make a wonderful queen Chitra, I heard you took down 5 men alone!"

Despite her predicament, she smiled.

"Glad to see you smile. I thought I would never see it again! You sacrificed yourself to save those ladies, even before that you faced bandits alone to save Poonam. A queen who keeps other's life before hers, a queen who is not afraid of sacrificing herself for her people. That's the kind of Queen you would be."

For the first time, she felt a warm feeling inside her, melting away her doubts.

"Technically, everything is my fault. You were engaged to him, I abducted you. Suggested your parents hide it. Then barged in your wedding, and forced you to marry me. Had I not come in your life and distorted everything, none of this would have happened."

Chitra shut her eyes and shook her head. She didn't have room in her heart for the guilt of two people now.

"Don't be ridiculous," she said.

"But it is the truth."

"The fault lies only with Vikram," she stammered.

"He is the one who did this to me. Not you. Do not think that you bear some responsibility in this... this... happening."

She noticed, that as these words passed her lips, her guilt that had been weighing so heavily on her heart, lifted suddenly. She was able to close her eyes and not fear seeing a dark shadow in her minds-eye. Absolving Shiv of his artificial guilt seemed to have removed her self-blame.

Chitra breathed deeply, the cool night air seemed the best breath of fresh air she had taken in a very long time.

Shiv took her hand in his.

"There is a lot of work left to do because I was late to arrive, and I need you by my side. So get well soon." He said softly pulling her to lean on him.

She rested her head on his broad chest.

" You arrived on time Shiv, he didn't.....I mean he wasn't able to do anything. Please don't blame yourself."

She felt his lips curl into a smile, he released a deep breath as if he let go of his apprehension.

"Not that it concerns me but I am relieved to hear that. Because I dont want you to go through any such ordeal."

She closed her eyes as his musky scent engulfed her. He trusted her. That made her guilt go away.

*******

With the first rays of sunlight, Raja Kirtiveer opened his eyes.

"Your highness!" Kalavati rarely left his side apart from attending to Chitra.

"You are finally awake." Her eyes brimmed with tears of happiness.

"What happened?" He asked.

"We were saved my lord, you will know everything." She replied.

To be continued.