Enemy's Woman

Chapter 30 - The past

Chitra stroked Shiv's hair. His body shook while hugging her waist. She didn't know how to react. Stay mad at him or console him.

A few minutes later his breath normalized. He released her and pulled her to make her sit next to him. Neither of them spoke for some time. He stared at the wall. While Chitra looked at his perfect profile. She waited for him to break the silence. She placed her hand on his and gently squeezed. He turned towards her. She nodded urging him to talk.

"I was 18 when my father asked me to marry Mrignayani. I was too young to understand the implications of marriage. I knew we had some sort of alliance with the Chola empire but I wasn't aware of the details. I was training to be a warrior. I preferred hunting, duelling and other things over administration. I just got married as per my father's order. I barely knew her."

He paused.

"She was aloof right from the first day. She had written me a letter explaining she didn't want to get married, and I should refuse this proposal but it never reached me. Dev Bhaiya was away. He was furious to see that I was married to Mrignayani. I didn't understand much of it. I was very inexperienced. I just assumed being married automatically meant she belonged to me. I didn't care about her feelings. Then one day I saw her with Dev Bhaiya. They were....they were close...I saw them kissing."

Chitra held his shoulders horrified.

"I was furious. I was so angry. I hurt her!" He had a pained look "I was a fool. I didn't realize how badly I was hurting her. She said she loved Dev Bhaiya and had written me a letter to refuse for the wedding. She was forced to marry me by her parents because I was the crown prince. That infuriated me even more. I said that I would never forgive her and came after her. She ran away from me. I chased her....and....she fell over from the terrace."

He covered his face. It was hard to continue.

Chitra gasped and held his shoulder tighter.

"I didn't mean to kill her. I didn't mean to hurt her. I was so consumed with anger and jealousy. I was just not thinking straight." He muttered almost to himself.

"You didn't kill her, your highness. It was an accident." She said.

"That's what father said. He declared it was suicide, sent me away to control the southern rebellion, and everything was forgotten. Except by Dev Bhaiya. He loved Mrignayani. I had no idea, or rather I chose to ignore it."

"Did you love her ?" Chitra asked.

"I barely knew her, or even understood marriage. I just followed my father's orders. She is my painful past which I want to erase but I can't. That guilt....its been haunting me ever since. I messed up everything."

Chitra felt as if her heart would break. She hugged him while he buried his head in the crook of her neck. So this is why he didnt want to talk about his first wife. He didnt love her, he considered himself responsible for her death.

Chitra felt a wave of sympathy as well as relief, then regretted her feelings. Was she being selfish?

"Shhh, it's ok your highness. I am here for you. Everything will be fine."

"No Chitra you are right! I am not a good person. I don't deserve you. You must not stay with me." He broke the hug and stared ahead dejected.

There were still some unanswered questions but she wasn't sure if it was the right time to ask them.

He glanced at her injured wrists and frowned.

He gently held her hands and checked her injured wrists "There are cuts on your hands. Let me put something on them."

"They are just scratches, it is fine." She said dismissively.

"No, it is not fine!" He looked up in her eyes.

"I have been a jerk, I am sorry Chitra, " his voice has such sincerity that melted her heart. Did it even matter if he had a past?

He wiped away the blood with his handkerchief. Her hand wasnt hurting as such but his caresses felt good.

"Your hands are also hurt, " She said, looking at his scratched palms.

He sighed and continued wiping her wrists.

"Did you... Did you plan my abduction?" Chitra asked cautiously.

He looked up at her, he looked hurt by her distrust.

"I didn't scheme your abduction Chitra, I didn't marry you because of my father's command. I married you because I wanted to. I didn't care whether you were a princess, or a commoner when I saved you. I wanted you so badly....." he closed his eyes for a moment, when he looked at her there was a desire in his eyes.

"I had to muster all my self-control from.....from committing anything inappropriate."

Chitra blushed.

He cupped her face with one hand.

"Do you have any idea, the things you do to me?"

The innocent girl had no clue what he was talking about.

"Please trust me."

He looked so miserable that she felt as if her heart would break into pieces. He left her face.

"I have been a complete idiot by not being truthful. I have hurt you, as well as myself. You are mine. I was ready to invade your kingdom, I would even invade the heavens to get you."

She took a corner of her Saari and wiped the droplets of blood from his palm.

"Why did you run away ?" He asked.

"I didn't run away. I just wanted to be alone for some time."

"Promise me you will never leave me."

"Never...I will never leave you." She said.

They shared an eye lock then Chitra blushed and hugged him burying her head in his chest. He smiled and hugged her back kissing her forehead.

She looked up at him, feeling little bold she reached up and kissed his cheek.

He smiled, placed his two fingers beneath her chin, and tilted her head back kissing her on the mouth. There was something demanding in the way he kissed, it left her trembling. When he was finished he had a smouldering look in his eyes.

"Chitra may I ?"

She nodded.