31; Fiery Nightmares

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Context: This is my entry for usedtobehmc's "write this in your style" challenge (#HMCWTIYS). There's also a callback to one of her earlier comics involving the husbands and that scene from 1967.

Crowley's been having nightmares. Aziraphale does his best to sooth him.

Word Count: 1,300

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Ever since the world didn't end, Aziraphale and Crowley had gotten much closer. So close in fact, that the demon practically lived in the bookshop with him. He hogged up all of Aziraphale's free time. And any available space with some houseplants. It was strange at first, seeing so much greenery amongst the bookshelves. But it helped them feel like it was their home, not just Aziraphale's, so it was a welcome change.

Once they were comfortable enough, they began behaving like a couple, finding their own rhythm in a romantic sense. It started off awkward, as expected, thanks to the 6,000 years of pining and fear. Even so, they managed. It was almost like human couples when they first started dating and didn't want to mess up horribly. Almost, because after seeing these things play out a million times beforehand, they tried learning from their mistakes. Eventually, they fell into a routine of sorts. During the day, Aziraphale would work and Crowley would try his very best to spook away customers to make his angel happy. Some days, they'd go out to have dinner, others, they'd stay in and cook together. At night, Aziraphale would be in the bed while Crowley slept. And it's in bed that he noticed something concerning about Crowley.

The first time, it didn't seem like much. The demon was just squirming in his sleep, mumbling. It lasted a few minutes but it came to an abrupt end when Crowley bolted up with a gasp. He looked around, realized where he was, and calmed down. Aziraphale had asked if he was alright but the demon simply mumbled something before settling into the mattress again. He asked once more the following day and Crowley assured him this was normal, that 'demons don't have dreams, they have nightmares if it isn't just darkness by default'.

As the weeks passed, Aziraphale would sense him being uncomfortable before the twitching and mumbling started. It only got worse with time. There were nights where Crowley would scream himself awake. Even with his eyes wide open, he would still be asleep somehow. It would take Aziraphale talking to and holding him, for the snake to wake up. As if to ground him, and get his body and mind to realize he was still unconscious.

It got worse when Crowley's screams turned to whimpers and tears. He'd sob Aziraphale's name, and the angel thought that was either him trying to wake himself up, or pleading for Aziraphale to do it for him.

It proved to be too much one night as the demon soaked Aziraphale's chest with tears. The angel pulled himself up and started patting Crowley's face, placing small miracles on him. "Darling, please wake up. Crowley, please." He begged softly.

The demon stirred. "Angel...?"

"Yes, my dear. It's me. Are you up yet?"

He groaned, trying to open his eyes. "I'm not sure..."

"Can you feel me under you?"

"Yesss."

"Can you see me clearly?"

Crowley blinked a few times before he nodded. Aziraphale wiped away his tears and the demon leaned into his touch. "Will you tell me what your nightmare was about, or are you not ready for that yet?"

The redhead shuddered as he pressed himself closer to Aziraphale. "It's always the same, angel. It's the bookshop." He whispered.

"My shop? Why-"

Suddenly, he was crying again. "You were in the fire and I couldn't save you..."

The angel's heart ached. "Oh, my love. I'm so sorry. I didn't think you living here would affect you this way." In truth, he hadn't given the event much thought since Adam had restored the whole thing.

"I thought it would go away. I thought I could force it to go away. For fuck's sake, I kept a car from falling to pieces with my mind alone! Why the fuck can I not get rid of my own nightmares?!" Crowley sounded angry and tired.

Aziraphale held him closer, pressing a kiss onto the top of his head. "I wish I knew the answer, dearest. I wish I could help you... Do you know that I had a similar problem a few decades ago?"

"What?" He asked, barely audible.

"It's true. In 1967, when I gave you the holy water. Do you remember what I told you?"

Crowley gave a sad nod. "That I went too fast for you."

"And after that?" Asked the blond, placing a hand on his cheek and caressing his snake mark.

"...That you didn't know if you'd be able to forgive yourself for giving it to me." This time, Crowley sounded confused, like he didn't know what that had to do with this moment.

Aziraphale kept one hand on Crowley's face, while the other one went down to the demon's back. His knuckles danced along the redhead's spine. "I had given you, my very best friend in all creation, the item that might've killed you one day. And I wasn't processing it well... You know I've never been one for sleep, but for weeks, I was restless because I worried about you. You had said, insisted, that it wasn't for you, just a last resort if you were in danger. I believed you, Lord knows I did, but I still worried. I only managed to calm down a few weeks later when I saw you around town, doing your usual work. A few times after that, whenever we discussed The Arrangement, I assumed everything was fine. And it was for me too, until we did the body swap."

Crowley stiffened and looked up at Aziraphale. The angel had tear tracks along his face as well.

"We had figured out the prophecy, we knew what we were getting into, and yet, I almost crumbled into a sobbing heap when I saw the holy water bathtub. So many years spent trying to make sure you didn't get destroyed by it, and if it hadn't been for that tiny piece of paper, that would've been your end. And I wouldn't have been able to save you." His voice had cracked and he had started crying again halfway into his explanation.

Next thing he knew, Crowley was wiping away his tears now. "But we survived. We're safe... So why am I still freaking out about this?"

After a moment of silence, Aziraphale spoke again.

"Darling, I think it's our home. Your demonic essence must recognize this as a traumatic setting for you. Probably subconsciously, because there hasn't been anything related to fire in this shop since that day. Think about it."

"I suppose that could explain why I'll be fine if I fall asleep in the Bentley." Admitted Crowley.

"Or in your flat."

"Or that bench in the park."

"Or those reclinable seats at the movie theater."

"Yes, but those were almost certainly designed that way to scam people out of their money. Come in, get too comfy, then boom! You've paid over 20 pounds for a movie you didn't even watch, you just slept through the whole thing!"

Aziraphale grinned. "I take it those were something you invented, then?"

"You know it."

They have a good laugh at that one in each other's arms before returning to the topic at hand.

"What are we gonna do, angel?" Asked the demon in a soft but hopeless voice.

Aziraphale gently scratched his back. "We'll move, dear."

"You can't give up your books."

"I won't. Just the shop. I love you, darling. Whatever you need, I'll do. Never doubt that." Concluded the angel with a kiss.

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