Drowning~ Dazai Osamu x Reader (F)

First Night (4)

I opened the door quietly and left the room. When I walked into the hallway I was surprised to smell something yummy coming from the kitchen. I walked down the hallway into the kitchen and Dazai turned around to face me. He smiled sweetly "you look adorable" he said. My eyes went wide not expecting the sudden compliment.

"Thank you Osamu" I said fighting an on coming blush. "You really do look cute in my clothes they make you look tiny" he giggled as he continued to cook. I smiled and walked over to him to see what he was making. Without thinking I hugged him, im so grateful for this man he has done so much for me and I have no way to repay him. He stiffened at my touch but quickly melted into the hug pulling my small frame closer to him while he watched the Teriyaki Chicken he was making sizzle in the pan. "Smells yummy" I said still engulfed in the hug.

He looked down at me and smiled. I looked up at him and chuckled a little bit. He was so focused on cooking a perfect meal. We stayed in the hug for another few minutes. "Do you need any help Osamu?" I asked. He turned to look down at me again. "Yes please could you check if the rice is done Y/N?~" he always talks so sweetly it makes me feel safe. I headed over to the rice pot and checked. "Looks like its finished" I chirped.

"Okie dokie" he smiled taking the chicken off the pan and putting a piece on each plate. I served rice onto each plate as well. We set our plates down on the table, Osamu seated across from me. As I was headed to walk towards the table to sit down I felt a hand on my wrist and lips on my forehead.

I was now as red as a tomato. "W-what was that for!?!" I managed to stammered the words out. "Thank you" was all he said before sitting down and laughing at my flustered state. I blushed wile making my way over to the table. I stopped realizing we had no drinks. "Would you like me to make some tea Osamu?" I asked calmly, "I can do it Y/N just sit down and eat" he said politely. "No its fine I would be happy to do it" I said. "Could you just tell me where you keep the tea" I said with an awkward smile. "3rd cabinet on the upper right" he said with a charming smile.

I made the tea and brought a cup over for both of us. He smiled gratefully as he took the cup from me. The dinner was really yummy I hate to say this but im actually surprised he can cook. He cleaned up the dishes I offered to help but he insisted I relax. I sat on a stool in the kitchen thinking about the events of today.

Then it hit me again all my friends and all my coworkers lost their lives today. Without me knowing tears started to flow down my face. I thought about all our good times,our hard times and all that fell in between. How come im alive? I didn't do anything to deserve this. I did some terrible things in my past. Kanna should be here not me. I dont deserve the kind people at the agency. I dont deserve to be here with Dazai. I dont deserve to be happy when they are all gone.

My thoughts were interrupted by two hands cupping my cheeks and wiping my tears as they fell. "Y/N I'm so sorry I know today has been terrible for you" after saying these words he pulled my head into his chest and stroked my hair trying to comfort me. I dont deserve this. "Please stop" I said even though I wish he would never let me go. " I font deserve this. I dont deserve happiness when they are all gone." I felt him frown against the back of my neck. "You do. What happened had nothing to do with you. You are just as much a victim as them. You deserve love. You deserve happiness. You deserve safety. You deserve comfort. And most of all you deserve to be here alive and well."

He said these words as he brought my face back out of his chest. Looking me in the eyes with a faint comforting smile. He wiped the last few stray tears as he gently rubbed his thumbs along my damp cheeks. I tried my best to form a smile, he chuckled at my efforts and began to lean in towards my face again. I closed my eyes and eventually I felt a light kiss on the tip of my nose. Right as I was opening my eyes back up. His lips eagerly connected with mine.

After a short sweet moment he pulled away quickly realizing what he had just done. "I'm so sorry I couldn't control myself!" He blurted out trying to cover his face with his hands. I pulled his hands off his face and chuckled, soon the chuckling became a full on laughing fit. He soon joined in and we just sat there laughing for a while.

After our laughter finally died down he scooped me up in an energetic hug. Why do I feel so safe around him now? When we first met many years ago I was afraid of him. Well thats in the past this is a whole new man infront of me, and I'm starting to feel something for him.

He put me down realizing what time it was. It was now 10:30 and he had work tomorrow. He lead me to the guest room pulling out a spare futon and arranging a comfortable bed for me. He gave me a peck on the lips before saying good night and leaving the room.

I was alone. Alone in a dark room with my dark thoughts. I began to cry again not realizing I was being loud. I heard the door creak open. My eyes were closed shut and I was facing my back to the door.
"Y/N are you ok?" He asked concerned. "Please dont leave me" was all I could choke out past the sobs. The next thing I felt was an arm snake under my waist and the other hold me protectively. "You're ok beautiful, I won't leave you." He kissed the back of my neck lightly and I fell asleep in his arms.

I'm sorry if this is ooc im trying my hardest this is my first fanfic so please bare with me. This is a lil angsty I apologize but I feel like Dazai is amazing at comforting so I had toooo. Ilyyy