My Days in Mahabharat

Words of my silence

Indraprastha

I was at home.

Krishna says a part of my sojourn is completed, though he never mentions when and how. Indraprastha, is orphic. When I returned from Dwarka that day, Yudhishthir said, “I didn't know a letter would be capable to bring you back home”

What is a home? A place where we live in harmony as melange; family. Then, what is a house? A building, perhaps a structure where we live.

Abode, dwelling, domicile, lodging are just stones and bricks if you are devoid of sentiments and aura of the people around you. Then not every house is a home.

Indraprastha has though become mine. The mere thought of losing this, stings my heart. I can smell myself from my chamber. The mist around curtains, mattress, pillows all in my best loved hue, red. Charcoal inks and quills with parchment scattered on the mahogany table. Iron structure in domes and pillars with sandalwood incense sticks and flickering lamp, abode of Krishna. A spruce chest and a treasure which when opened can provide me clothes of my era. This has been my nook, my querencia.

After months of morosis, which I both ruined and won that day everything has become eudaimonia. I still doubt my conscious of that oneirataxia. Am I allowed to taste this utopia? Arjun's acceptance and marriage proposal, nothing sounds more sarang to me now. Was this beatitude?

What was so ecstatic and vehement in our decision that turned everyone's eyes pearl misty? I simply don't know. Soulrocker, that's another name I had translated of what Arjun has again christened me and as usual everyone agreed without a second thought.

Krishna termed it selflessness and lately we spent our dusks debating at this symposium over Panchali's peanut ladoos, which were his new favorite. How can I call it selflessness? Am I not fortunate to witness this colossal saga? How can I even call myself competent to his valor, that will compliment him like Subhadra and Draupadi? Still he says my altruism is competent to his archery? Pardon me, lord! But Can I even dare to disrespect his words, ever?

When I look back at a Simran who had celebrated over twenty birthdays here but still is 21 years old, I see a change. Undertaking that high spirited girl next door; bossy, fiery, energetic, confident, arrogant, elegant yet a child at heart, outgoing, independent, surprisingly naive and trusting Simran has now realized she is much more than this. She has discovered love, devotion, benevolence and most importantly patience and fortitude.

At kaliyug, I'd have by now completed my masters and doctorate and- Krishna says I have, how can this happen even? Then, do I even doubt him!

Mata left the very next morning after the grandiose woody nightshade for Hastinapur. Our city was prospering under the rule of King Yudhishthir, citizens were in blithe and peace. The land experienced much rains than before under this pious rule. However, several unjust rulers posed threats more specifically, Jarasandh the king of Magadh who was the father in law of Kans. It was time that the land of whole aryavrata should also flourish and blossom under the crown of justice and righteousness. They should now conquer kingdoms bringing various cities under one rule, to make eldest, Yudhishthir the Chakravartin Samrat.

Therefore, after consulting with his ministers and counselors, the brothers began the preparations for Rajsuyayagya. As per Pitamah and sage Dhaumya's consultation the brothers led armies in a pattern to regions which had warriors of their same weapon interest. Arjun had already gained confidence from the northern kingdoms. Bheem in east, Sahdev in south and Nakul in west were sent to conquer various realms and provinces considering their infallible and that plethora of skill in their respective weapons. Krishna had advised that he along with Arjun and Bheem shall start his journey to Magadh region. Such was the political and economic stance of our city.

The woman's quarters were in glad tidings. Sunshines and roses might even fail to suffice the ecstacy I was flying in. Subhadra was eight months pregnant and Draupadi's good news showered us in yestreen. Abhimanyu
and Shrutkarman shall join our gang soon. I should make sure that we've ayurvati and gynaec team on a pace nearer. Though Nakul and Sahdev have left some of their celestial medicines before leaving with Bheem for the conquest.

The queen when I watch her immensely poised and empyrean of the anatomy rummaging her eyes on anecdotes, parchments of calculus, accounts and reports; if she can't be an empress nobody can. A glance and sheer smile they share in the court assembly, melts my heart.

Shifting gaits like a ringlet butterfly, the dusky princess of Dwarka can make the greatest archer run behind her in the festooned corridors of palace and surprisingly, he fails to catch her the illusionary.

I nowhere stand near these goddesses in disguise. How can they simply smile and allow their husband to just marry another woman? How can they just embrace another co-wife? How can they posses such magnanimous hearts which allows them to make room in it for an other woman in their husband's life?

I can never.

Fidgety? Kalopsia? Barmecide?

I wasn't able to laugh on Subhadra's jests on pigeons. I wasn't able to meet Draupadi's eyes when she told me that my calculation was wrong in the crop production folds. I wasn't able to then suggest Subhadra whether she should wear carnelian or topaz that evening when she went to Mahakali's temple. I wasn't able to drink the pistachio milk Draupadi gave me every night. I wasn't just able to join them in our the siesta gossip hour when, the palace used to get silenced in the hours just before dusk and after noon.

Deep inside an emotion or feeling of betrayal, perfidy, punic was feasting on me. My heart was sinking in my stomach. Everything isn't golden as it looks maybe. I have a small heart then, as they say the size of this untiring muscle in your body is the same as of your fist. How are these women even accepting me as their husband's wife? I am well aware that princes and kings marry for securing and expanding their kingdoms. Maybe, polygamy and polyandry isn't my cup of tea. Let's face it, none from my era shall agree to this. But here they're different and they are exceptionally different.

As, righteousness isn't in your actions always but in the intent behind that action. Circumstances leading to any action can be made by us, but the objective behind rests in his hands. Everytime I look at them I feel I am just withering the plexure of their love and forbearance. I am just a floricide who- Sometimes, I even wonder can just a girl from kaliyug stand to marry the greatest archer of time?

Don't they feel that burning sensation of fyregebreac in their core when they spot me and Arjun practicing in the weaponry together?