AVIS IN BETWEEN (Lesbian)

Part 31 AVIS COOKS BAD SPAGHETTI

I squeeze her forearms tightly, grinning and bringing my face closer to Zarya. She closes her eyes tightly but doesn't pull back. I carefully examine her features. We were only this close in the forest, but it was dark there, and she did not give me a chance to look at her for my pleasure. She no longer cries, but her lips are trembling. They are beautiful like ripe autumn strawberries.

"Come on, let's finish this! Do it!" exclaims Zarya.

"Do what? Do you think I'm so petty to want revenge just like you?" I whisper.

She slowly opens her eyes and looks at me.

"You haven't slept with women, judging by the way you behaved towards me yesterday. And you probably shouldn't get into this. None of your future partners would like it, believe me." I let go of her and get up slowly.

Why did I ever sit down, now I can't get up!

"I broke off the engagement in order to stay with you in damned Hare Rivulets! Father hates me now! I am no longer welcome at home, and it's all because I always want to be only with you. I bet my life on you!" she cries out the last phrase and covers her mouth with her hand.

"So, you're not very good with men either? Come on, I'll cook us some spaghetti."

***

The kitchen is mating with twilight. I gently stir the spaghetti, trying not to turn my head to Zarya. She is sitting very quietly, as if I am alone in the kitchen. I'm scared: what if I turn around, and she is not there, and I am forsaken in my world. We sigh heavily almost simultaneously.

"Dinner is served!" I face her at last, holding two plates of pale, slightly overcooked spaghetti that resemble white worms. "That's the only decent meal, but it's better than nothing. Would you like to add some soy sauce? I like spaghetti with sauce; I would suggest cheese, but it's been in the fridge for a long time..." I chatter non-stop, trying to fill the silence.

"I should be taking care of you now," mutters marigold.

"Don't talk nonsense! You're tired, and you didn't even take a shower!"

"I've been to your house before, but in the form of my bird. I don't know how to fill a bathtub without magic."

"Or without servants..."

Mage has been picking at her plate with a fork and cannot catch a single spaghetti.

"Let me help..."

"No, thank you. You're not a servant! You'd better have your dinner."

"I don't want either... I know you're not hungry because of the twins' chips, but you should try to eat something. I also ate a little of this food nonsense while I was in the first seat. That man's whole car is packed with cartons of juice and bags of cookies – the man is a real loving grandfather. No, I'm not going to eat it!" I push the plate aside. "I want to write a note for Professor Spiegel and say hello from this nice man. Quite old-fashioned way to send messages," I mumble to myself, "I'll ask a clerk on duty to get a message to him. I don't want to go up to the second floor of the university: I am not eager to meet my professor!"

Zarya doesn't mind; she doesn't react at all to what I say. The girl sits hiding her face in her palms. I get up in silence, and I am about to look for a pen and paper when something stops me. I only get a glimpse of her as I stand at the doorway and that's enough to make my body immovable. I press my hand to my chest, rumpling the T-shirt; it seems to me that my bosom is bursting with pain. I see the same frightened teenage girl from Avis's memories who was desperately looking for protection, my protection. Zarya is sitting sort of huddled as if in pain, hanging over the plate. How did I fail to notice this? Her act in the forest was nothing more than an awkward coming out! All her words fit together like an old puzzle that no one could collect because of the lost pieces. For her, it was no small feat, for same-sex relationships are despised in Nefeli lands.

What should I have expected from her? Hoping that she would wrap herself in a rainbow flag and write "I'm super gay" on her face?

In truth, I have never been insecure about my sexual orientation, but even I don't really talk much about it, but what about the one who was brought up in an almost medieval world?

Even Max didn't know that I prefer the company of women...

I have always longed for her protection, but in fact I had to protect her! Probably, she also imagined our first time in a completely different way, but nothing is perfect, and this gives color to life.

"Avis? Why are you pressing your hand to your heart? Are you feeling bad?"

It seems Zarya misinterprets my expression. With no delay she rushes to me. I see glow in her eyes: her magic seems to be returning. Zarya's hand fills with orange light like she's holding the buds of marigolds in the palm of her hand. She presses it against my solar plexus, filling my chest with pleasant warmth.

"Don't do this, Zarya. Save some magic for yourself. I feel fine, I swear." I give her a silly smile.

"You are shaking all over, you must have caught a cold!" The young mage does not take her hands off my chest.

"I love you so much Zarya!" This is the first time I have said something to her with such undisguised happiness in my voice. "And Avis really loved you too. She always did."

For the first time I feel one with her. Me and... Avis.