Burning love

Chapter 8

When Kris woke up the next morning, he sighed a breath of relief. He'd done it; and by done it he meant done nothing. This was okay, because it didn't hurt anyone.
That was when he saw the text.
He thought maybe it was Sam, asking to hangout again, and he smiled. But the smile quickly disappeared when he saw who it was.
We're done.
It was Jana. What was she talking about? He had been good today. Was she still mad about the mall?
Why?
You seriously don't know?
No?
I'm coming.
There was silence from her after that. Kris was sweating bullets. What if she was serious? She wouldn't break up with him. He hadn't done anything wrong. Except for kissing Sam, and getting a blow job, of course. He pushed the thought away. He dressed up quickly, as nice as possible.
When he got downstairs, his mom looked up from her magazine, unfazed.
"She's coming over." His mom said first.
"Who? Jana? How do you know?"
"She called," His mother pursed her lips in silent disappointment. "You should be ashamed."
Kris sniffed. So this was it. They'd found out about Sam. Kris breathed in deeply.
"Gay people are people too." He said defiantly, and grabbed his coat, running outside. Shock registered on his mom's face only a moment later.
"Gay? Kris! Who's gay?"
He heard her screech from the house, as he ran. So she hadn't known.
He ran further and further, until his legs were tired and his mind empty. He had outed himself after all. Jana hadn't said. But why had she called? He didn't need anymore disappointment from his mother. He'd had enough of that his whole life.
He breathed conflicted. What was Jana up to? His mind wandered in endless circles. Then, he called her.
"I'm not at home," He said quietly. "Meet me by the forest."
Without knowing it, he had ran to the woods near Sam's house. It gave him a strange comfort, and he felt in the secluded trees more alike with nature. Less destructive and hurtful. He could talk to her peacefully here. But at the same time, he didn't want to ruin his and Sam's spot.
"Are you kidding me?" Her voice was full of venom. "The place you were with that whore! Meet me at the park."
The phone went silent. Whore?
He thought back to his night at the woods...
And it hit him like a car. Him, that girl coming on top of him...kissing him. He shivered at the memory. Should he have reported it? And then that voice. Could it have been Margo? He knew she hated him, but it couldn't be because of her. She would never. Firm in his resolve, he walked to the park, dragging his feet. He spotted Jana from afar, her blonde hair hectic. She wasn't dressed as usual with her tight outfits but in sweats. This unnerved Kris. In 2 years, he'd only seen her wear sweatpants twice; when her favourite character died, and when her dad was arrested. She stayed at home, crying and these were her go-to pants. He was nervous again, and even more so when she spotted him. She had anger in her eyes which wasn't uncommon, but more importantly she had a deep hurt he couldn't place. This was exactly what he had been trying to avoid.
"Hey," He said slowly.
And just like that her anger bubbled over, losing all reason. She slapped him, hard, across the cheek. People turned to stare, and then turned away out of politeness. The slap stung, but more with meaning that actual hurt. He had really done it this time.
"You cheating prick!" She yelled, loud for all to hear. She wanted him to hurt, but worse of all she wanted to embarrass him. Kris took humiliation worse than ever, and couldn't bear to be near her. The women and children at the park started to clear out, well aware of what would lead next in this outburst. They all pursed their lips at him.
"I haven't done anything!" Kris yelled, knowing the irony of his words. They seemed fake on his lips, and he knew she sensed it too.
"Bullshit!" She hollered.
"How about telling me what you think I did!"
She roared with anger. She pulled out her phone after some struggle, and there was an enlarged photo of Kris, making out with platinum haired Whitney. She threw the phone in his face, and Kris caught it. He looked at the image, the memory of her salty lips coming back to him. Nothing like the warm sugar of Sam's. He willed his mind not to think of this now. She was over with him. And here he was thinking of Sam, yet again. He truly deserved what was coming to him.
"You and that bitch," She screeched. Kris recoiled.
"It's not what it looks like, I swear." It was weak, but he didn't know what to say. Either way, he had cheated. Would it hurt more or less if she knew it was with Sam and not Whitney? But then he thought to Jana's vengeful tendencies...she could out him to the school. So he kept quiet.
"Then what is it, hmm? She just landed into your lap?"
Kris started quickly. "I was in the woods...I was on a walk and sat down! I swear! And then Whitney pounced on me! I don't know who took that..."
She laughed without humour. Her laugh was vicious, and aching. "She just ran to you? Sorry to tell you, but you're not as handsome as you think."
Kris tried not to let it get to him. She was right; he was in the wrong.
"Quiet are you? You cheating asshole."
Kris felt exasperated. "Am I a cheating Asshole, or prick? Make up your mind."
She stared back in shock. Kris was never one to speak up in the midst of a fight, much less when he was in the wrong.
"Who are you?" She sneered.
But this hit him hard. "I don't know anymore," He whispered. She might of had compassion for him in that fleeting moment, but soon her face was an angry mask once more. Kris wished he could tell her; wished he could let it out, and cry on her shoulder. He did like her. She was the best person in his life, and he had messed it up yet again. He couldn't think of how to properly fix it.
"Margo took the picture."
He wasn't quite sure if this helped, but it made Jana stop and think.
She laughed. "She didn't." A pause. "You're just trying to save your ass."
He shook his head, defiant. "I'm not," He whispered. "I was there...with Whitney and I heard Margo laughing. She planned this."
He was trying to lessen the blow, and in his wake he realized Margo must of organized this. The clarity hit him and stuck. He had gone into the woods, and there Margo had been with Whitney. She planned to take him out, to ruin their relationship. But why? What had he done? Or what did she know he had done? He cursed her silently.
Jana still shook her head. "Margo would never. I love her more than you."
Kris looked up, knowing it wasn't the truth.
"I'm sorry I hurt you, really..."
She kicked him in the balls, hard. He bent over in pain, cursing and clutching.
"Fuck you."
She walked away, clutching her phone angrily. Kris got up when she was far away, and sighed. What had this day come to? He felt a emptiness in the pit of his stomach at the thought of not seeing her again. She had been his rock, his support. His life revolved around meeting her, calling her, making her happy.
He had a new rock now, he realized. Sam. He didn't want to push the thought; there was no way for that to work. Still he wondered...why didn't he feel the heart wrenching sadness most people feel when broken up with? He'd definitely felt it when he had said goodbye to sam. He'd felt as though he'd left a part of him back at the mall. He'd felt irritated at the world, at everything. He'd stayed in his room for those four days, he'd barely ate. And now he was fine?
Despite the slow ache of losing Jana, it was like a little scratch on his heart. With Sam it was a spasm, strong and ignorable. Like losing a limb. He realized the significance of this but ignored it.
With a start, he began to walk home and then realized what had happened before the disaster with Jana. Another disaster.
He had accidentally outed himself to his mother. He was sure she would not let this go. He wondered if she would be micro aggressive; talking overly about God, or poking fun at gay people on tv. Or if she would demand a straight answer, have a deep conversation about finding God, and kick him out if he denied. He didn't know which was worse. He sighed, where would he go?
His fingers were already dialling the number as he walked. He knew it by memory and it was now instinct.
"Hey babe." Sam's voice was muffled, as if he was doing something while on the phone. And then he was nervous, Kris could tell by the tinge in his voice. He was worried about the babe thing, he was sure. Kris smiled  to himself, this was what he wanted. What did he have to lose? He was taking to long, and Sam was becoming nervous.
"I didn't mean babe like babe, I was just-"
"Don't worry," kris laughed. "I miss you."
"I saw you yesterday."
"Yeah, well..." Kris tried to piece his words together. "I outed myself."
There was an intake of breath. "You mean you came out?"
"No. I mean yes. Accidentally. And then I ran. I'm probably getting kicked out."
Sam felt a pang in his chest. Was this his fault? The plan was stupid. Even though his parents might be apprehensive at first, he knew that they would come around. But would Kris'?
"I'm so sorry...Want to talk about it?"
"I will when I get there." Kris grinned and broke into a jog.
"Right now?"
"Yes. Could you..." Kris didn't want to be rude, but he had no choice. "Could I stay over?"
"Wow, feeling sexually liberated and want some already?"
Kris laughed. "I have no place to go." He meant it to sound half hearted, but it really did sound depressing.
"I'll ask...come in like 10 minuets, okay?"
Kris agreed and then began to run. He'd forgotten how good it was to run. Running felt soothing because soon he was sweaty and out of breath, and there was no time to think. He was just his own element, and had peace of mind. He was at Sam's house in no time. Lizzie opened the door for him and he smiled at her, but her quizzical expression didn't change. She called for sam to come, and in that moment pulled Kris close.
"Are you his boyfriend?" She whispered.
Kris felt his neck heat up. He had told his little sister about him? He felt strangely honoured. And also didn't know what to say, but she was waiting. She seemed sure of the answer even though Kris wasn't. Was he Sam's boyfriend? The way they felt about each other was mutual, but they'd never actually discussed it...
He nodded slowly. She smiled. He wished adults were that understanding. Sam's parents greeted Kris warmly, and he wondered briefly if they knew Sam was gay. But the way they didn't question him said otherwise. He thanked them and went upstairs. Sam was sitting on his bead, piles of notes thrown all around. His hair was messy, and he looked surprised when Kris entered.
"Ew, what are you studying?" Kris asked. He carefully shifted a pile and sat beside sam, close. The fire between their thighs returned, and both ignored it. Sam peered at his notes, and Kris peered at him.
"Math, what else?"
"Do you really want to do this now?" Kris said. He was surprised by his own boldness. But at the same time, he needed to be close to Sam. It was all he had left. He turned Sam's chin toward him, and held it there lightly, looking into his eyes. Sam blinked nervously.
"May I?" Kris asked, and when Sam nodded, he moved the notes to the ground. He smiled up at Sam, and caressed his hair.
"Are you okay?" Sam croaked. He was nervous, and Kris thought it was cute. He also realized he quite enjoyed making Sam sweat a little.
"Mm-hmm," Kris whispered in Sam's ear, his hot breath massaging the side of Sam's face. Goosebumps appeared.
"How are things with Jana?" He said, running the moment. Kris pulled away for a moment and looked at the wall.
"We broke up." The silence was filled with an unbearable tension. And suddenly it crashed.
Suddenly, they were both tongues and lips, crashing into each other with passion and intensity. They were animals, trying to get as close as possible, hands flying. They let out all their love and frustration. Then Kris let out a slow moan.
"Shush!" Sam giggled. "My parents are still downstairs."
Kris shrank from embarrassment, and prayed they didn't hear. He just lost control with Sam, as he always did. But he was glad he did.
The fire in his stomach consumed.
Sam bent down to get his notes, even though he didn't feel like studying. Kris didn't know what came over him; perhaps it was the stress of life, or maybe just the need to finally take what he wanted. He bent over on Sam and grinded lightly against him. Sam in-took breath in surprise, but he wasn't complaining. He let himself feel...
Then the moment passed, and Kris hopped off, watching Sam put the notes slowly back down. Kris smiled invitingly, and that was all it took.
They were making out again, and this time, Sam made it off with Kris' shirt, they were both gasping when suddenly Sam got up. He peered through the hall, and heard the buzz of TV from the living room.
Satisfied, he came back inside, and locked to door.
"You're mine." He said seductively.
Kris hopped on top of him when they were in the bed, and began to grind lightly once again. The pressure was building.
"You always do something for me," Kris said. "I want to return the favour."
Sam sat up in surprise but didn't complain when Kris took off his pants and took his large member into his mouth. The moan that escaped him was instantly covered by Kris' outstretched hand. He clasped it against Sam's mouth and began again. The pressure was unbelievable.
When he finally finished, Kris was exhausted, but satisfied. The look on Sam's face was heavenly, and he lied on the bed, near sleep. It was the first time Kris had ever done anything like that; he was surprised by his actions but not ashamed. He wondered why now, of all times he had finally decided.
Kris swallowed lightly, and the salty fluid went down his throat. He smiled to himself, and felt strangely peaceful as he lay beside Sam.