Burning love

Chapter 11

Kris was booming with this new way of life.
It was strange for him; he wasn't so used to being unashamed. He held hands with Sam(not in very public places, of course), kissed him without weight and had a somewhat understanding with his mother. She sniffed her nose every now and then but she seemed no more disappointed than usual. She was getting used to him hanging out at Sam's, even though he couldn't refer to him as his boyfriend yet.
When he walked down the street and people looked at him, he felt as though they saw the love from him. They the true him. And even as he felt bad to admit it, spending time with Jana had never been as fulfilling. Her no longer felt a pang at her name, because he knew this was where he was supposed to be. He felt at peace. That was why today, during their walk, he had waited until it was dark and secluded to talk.
"Sam. Let's talk."
Sam shivered, unsure. "Don't tell me you're breaking up with me already?"
Kris laughed easily. "I really like you, Sam."
His voice was warm and sincere, but Sam's heart dipped. He'd hoped Kris would use a stronger word.
"I like you too, obviously."
"Then, I wanna try something new."
Sam looked up, surprised. "What do you mean?"
There was no easy way to say it, and Kris turned red. "Like...sex."
Sam was stunned. He hadn't said I love you but he wanted sex? He was conflicted, but intrigued. "Anal?" He raised his eyebrows.
"Never mind," Kris said, and walked a little faster. Sam broke out into laughter.
"Kris! Relax. We can try."
Kris nodded. "Are you the...?"
Sam laughed again, further embarrassing Kris. "Am I top? We'll figure it out."
Kris nodded, and the laughing didn't subside until they got home.
Sam tried not to overthink as they lay hand in hand watching criminal minds. But as his mind wandered, he wondered if this change was caused by something else. But what was it? Was Kris asking this to prove something? Did he love him? He tried to suppress his own feelings, and watched the movie absentmindedly.
He thought about the next day, which would begin the month of June. The last month before summer, and he smiled pleasantly. Summer always brought happiness, comfort. And it was always nice to enjoy the simple things. He and kris could go on walks, picnics, and it just seemed too good to be true. He was satisfied, despite everything.
****
Kris was happy with the last day of school. He felt a bounce in his step as he neared school, and the day was uneventful. He pictured summer coming up with sam, and also pictured other things too. He felt his chest squeeze with opportunity.
Until lunch.
He saw Jana across the hall, and tried not to make eye contact. Her usually angry energy was replaced today and for a moment kris was happy. She was finally getting over it, and maybe they could be friends. But then she caught his eye and shot daggers at him. And worst yet, she smiled. He looked around nervously and then at sam, and then away. He tried not to let her get in his head. He also saw Margo sitting far away and by herself. How strange. They must of stopped talking. When they made eye contact, she looked away which was unlike her.
"What's wrong?" Sam asked. They sat at their now usual lunch table. It was the two of them, Liam (who was still very rude), and Jacob. Jacob was a freshman, and had been very nervous and shaky on his first day. He had no where to sit and since Sam said they should be nice, then Kris let him sit with them. Something about good karma.
"Jana's at lunch today." She had avoided him as much as possible, and he rarely saw her.
"So?"
But just as Sam could try to calm Kris' nerves, Jana stood up. She got on top of the lunch tables and whistled. The cafeteria was quiet, and looked at her. Kris was freaking out. He looked at her with pleading eyes, but she didn't even look at him.
"Not to make a fuss, but I have an announcement." She said brightly. Everyone looked at her animatedly; this was going to be good. The last time she had stood up like this, it was to confront Abigail for sleeping with Liam. Kris and Jana had an off break, and her go to fling was with Liam. But Abigail had snatched him first, and there was a huge fight.  Long story short, Abigail had to get a tooth replaced.
"It's not on my behalf, but I've decided to do some good, and help them. You know my ex, Kris?" She pointed at Kris unnecessarily, since everyone was already staring. Kris couldn't believe this was happening. She was going to tell the whole school he was a cheater, and everyone would hate him for it. He tried to breathe, but sam's worried expression didn't fade. He was staring at Margo, and she was looking away.
"I thought he was this perfect boyfriend, actually. But turns out he's just a fag."
The cafeteria grew silent, and Liam looked at him long and hard. Everyone had an edge of a smirk on their face, waiting for someone to break.
Jana laughed without humour. "That's not the funny part! He's gay for sam."
Now the whole grade 10 population had eyes on sam. Sam shrunk back, and tried to be prideful but didn't succeed. Truth be told he didn't want to come out; it was too much mockery. He looked at Kris who was singlehandedly falling apart.
"So you're gay?" Liam asked, breaking a silence.
Kris looked up. Was there a point in lying now? "Yes."
Liam erupted in laughter. "So y'all have sex?" He stated cracking up, and the new kid joined in. So much for good karma. Liam signalled a huge breakout of laughter. Jana stood triumphantly. That made Sam's blood boil.
"You bitch!" He yelled, getting up.
"Mad I told them?" Jana purred.
"What's wrong with you?"
"I don't appreciate being cheated on with a guy." She made a disgusted sound. Sam was a barrel of rage and for a moment forget common sense. He uncapped the orange juice in his hands and spilled it on Jana.
"Oops," he said and walked to his table. Jana screeched angrily. Everyone watched in anticipation. She was about to retaliate, when Kris got up and looked at her.
"Stop. Let it go."
Her eyes threatened to burn with tears, so instead she slapped him, hard. Kris was not the least bit surprised. He smiled and walked away with sam. They held hands, and for a moment felt united. Following them were guys swallowing hot dogs and fake moaning, laughter and insults. But they simply walked out and didn't look back.
"I'm so sorry," Sam said, though he wasn't quite sure what he was apologizing for.
"It's not your fault."
Sam tried to find a way to tell him, but simply couldn't. He silently promised for Kris to get over this, for them to be okay. At least now, they could be who they were freely. Now everyone already knew.
Margo rushed out from the cafeteria, and into the front yard where Sam and Kris were at the benches. She slid in beside them and Kris didn't look at her.
"Come to gloat?" He asked.
"No, why would I do that?"
"You never liked me. You're probably happy we broke up."
He was partially right. She had been happy at the beginning, before Jana's sadness, and homophobia, and then cruelty. Before she realized she had fallen in love with the thought of someone instead of the real person. She smiled at the fact that sam and kris were still together, and she hoped they would be for a while. At least one of them got what they wanted.
"I'm sorry for what me and sam did to break up you and Jana. It was a stupid idea. But now that she's done her little display, I think she'll get over it." Margo smiled apologetically, but Kris' face drained of blood. Sam looked pale, and his hand was intently moved out of Kris' lap. Margo didn't notice the difference.
"I really am sorry. Maybe we could be friends still? I don't talk to Jana anymore."
Kris tired to speak. "It's fine. Why not?"
"She's...different than what I thought."
"Many people don't show their true colors." Kris looked at sam, hard.
Margo finally sensed the change in energy and excused herself.
"Think about the friends thing, okay?" She said, not waiting for an asnwer. They watched her walk back to the cafeteria and then Kris exploded.
"Mind explaining that to me?"
"Explaining what?"
"Don't be stupid. Did you not hear what Margo said?"
Sam stayed quiet, so Kris barrelled on quickly. "She said you and her did something to break me and Jana up. From her, I expect. Jana is all she's got, and plus she's never liked me. She was never my friend. But you?"
Sam didn't answer.
"My boyfriend? The guy I cheated on Jana for? And you went behind my back?"
Sam finally spoke up. "You would've never left her, let's be honest. You needed a push."
Sam had meant to say an apology, but the angry words formed quickly.
"A push? So you broke us up? That's fucked up."
"You're happier now," sam said lightly. "With me." He tried to take Kris' hand but he snatched it away angrily.
"How could you do that? Hurt me? Hurt Jana? How selfish are you?"
Sam's heart pumped unsteadily, as if preparing to be broken. "I needed you...Jana suggested a plan and well..."
"What exactly did you do?"
"Remember that night in the woods?"
"Unbelievable!" Kris was yelling now. "I knew something weird happened! It was you!"
"Jana took the picture..."
"So you just led me into the woods and tricked me, lied to me, then broke us up and happily enjoyed having me all to yourself. Not an ounce of guilt? And now Jana is hurt, and she outed me."
"She outed me too."
"Oh please, everyone knew."
"What's that supposed to me?"
"Come on, it's no surprise. Look at how you dress." He gestured to Sam's tight jeans and his cheetah shirt.
"Anyone can wear cheetah."
Kris sighed. "I knew it was too good to be true."
"I'm sorry, okay! But that was before, it's been months."
"So? What's wrong with you?" His eyes were hurt, and that cut Sam more than anything he'd set before.
Kris got up and looked at him once before walking away.
"Where are you going?" Sam called.
Kris didn't answer. Sam felt his pulse quicken; it didn't end like this.
"I love you!" He yelled, certainly loud to hear. He saw kris pause, but he kept walking, not acknowledging him at all. A silent tear fell down sam's cheek.
"What's wrong, the star couple already fighting?" Jana laughed from the doorway before disappearing back into the school. Sam couldn't go back; and he couldn't move forward. Not without kris. How was it that Kris was always the heartbreaker? He sighed and walked the long, cold way home.