Burning love

Chapter 3

Sam was shaking. He was pent up nervousness and exhaustion. And now, on top of it all, he was waiting for a text that didn't come.
Sam had tests he had to study for, and an assignment that he hadn't even thought of starting. It was becoming obsessive how he checked his phone, how any moment was an excuse to see if an unknown number had texted him. He jumped when he'd gotten a reminder to study. This was becoming ridiculous, he concluded himself.
By the end of the day, he had enough. He went to bed angry, and thought of what kris could be doing all day.
Kris was stressed.
Kris was weighing the pros and cons of texting Sam, and what it might lead to. He wanted to, in a deep part of himself he knew what it would mean. No one would know of course, but it would weigh on his conscience. He couldn't do anything to Jana, not to mention how this was confusing himself as it was. If he texted him did it mean anything? Just friends, right? He concluded to see what Sam would do, and then put it out of his head. It was pointless to worry. Sam would understand.
Apparently he did not. Sam didn't talk to Kris all week. Kris thought it was all in his head. He couldn't possibly be mad for not being texted? It was obvious he had his own things to do, and shouldn't concern himself with Sam's wellbeing. But he did. He found himself thinking more about sam's happiness than Jana's or even his own. He felt he'd massively fucked up, but could not seem to see where. Had Sam really wanted to be friends? He'd said he was low on them at the moment. Kris felt a sinking feeling, but didn't try to approach Sam.
Sam tried his best to ignore the feeling of being unwanted. Kris had a girlfriend, sure. But did that ever stop anyone? Maybe he was bi and had mixed feelings? Or maybe he simply didn't want to talk to him, let alone be friends. He tried to push that sad thought out of his head but it pestered him. After gym class, they were in the locker room. Sam had enough of being ignored, and eventually thought some embarrassment was worth getting some type of conversation going. He went up to Kris as he was changing his pants, and tried not to look in that direction.
Kris saw him and looked embarrassed, but stared at him curiosity.
"Long time no talk, huh?" Sam said. He tried not to be too sour about it.
Kris nodded, in thought. Was he not mad anymore?
"So...what have you been doing?" Sam tried to only be politely interested.
"Mostly just work," kris began dryly, "And me and Jana are having some problems."
Most of the guys in the locker room were near done changing, and heading out. A few remained, uninterested by their mediocre conversation. Sam however wondered if this was a message. Him and Jana having problems...He moved to sit beside Kris, not getting too close.
"Problems?" Kris thought Sam sounded almost happy.
"I don't know. She's just been in her head lately, bitching about everything. Not a big deal, that's the way she is. But not what I need right now. Can't she just be simple?" Kris realized he'd overshared but he didn't care. She wasn't the only one who wasn't simple.
"I wouldn't know," Sam said. He'd never had a girlfriend, or wanted one for that matter.
"What about you?" Kris asked. He'd pulled his pants off completely and tried to change into his jeans without moving too much. Him and Sam were looking into each other's eyes deeply, and he didn't want to be the one to break contact.
"Work. School. I don't get science to be honest," Sam shrugged, bored. He'd thought this would go differently. But the revelation that he wasn't happy with Jana sparked a selfish happiness.
"I love science," Kris said nonchalantly. "I could help you sometime?"
This is not a date. This is not a date. This is not a date. Kris repeated in his mind, making it clear.
This is a date! Sam tried to conceal his sudden joy, and cleared his face.
"Text me then." Sam tried to make it clear that it was his last chance. Then as if on afterthought he added, "I have a test on Thursday. So how about you tutor me tomorrow?"
Kris was taken aback. He felt intrigued. He reminded himself this was just studying. He was teaching him science. There was nothing sexy about science. Even as this reassured him, he felt hope swell in his chest. What did he want?
"Sure," Kris said immediately. "I'll call you. Um...you want to come over?"
Sam smiled and then tried to hide it. "Yeah," he said shyly.
"Y'all are acting like fags!" Some guy laughed and left the change room. There seemed to be no one else there, just them now. They felt the tension ease, and let the guy's words wash over them and away. Sam didn't mind. His head was a spiral of it's a date!
Later that day, while on FaceTime with Jana, Kris decided to text sam. It didn't seem monumental anymore, considering what was happening tomorrow. He felt a bit bad texting while with her, but she was still babbling about something uninteresting to him, so he thought she wouldn't notice.
Sam was telling him exactly what he didn't understand about science. Maybe this was really for school? He smiled.
"...And tomorrow's so nice and sunny. It's literally perfect."
Kris snapped into attention. "What about tomorrow?"
"A picnic date!" She almost yelled. "Isn't it cute?"
He sighed uneasily. "I can't."
She rolled her eyes. "You're gonna ditch me for Louise?" Louise was his longtime best friend. They'd known each other since they were little, but went to different high schools. They haven't hung out in a while, but were still close. Kris briefly wondered why he had never felt any urge or anything other than platonic friendship around him. What was sam doing to him?
Kris cleared his throat. "I'm helping Sam study."
She sighed. "Why?"
"I'm good in science, and he's doing bad. I'm helping him."
"You like science?" She asked.
Kris nodded.
"Since when?"
"Since always."
"You've never helped me," she mused. But she didn't ponder too long and soon was talking in a way where Kris didn't have to focus to respond and could just think of tomorrow.
****
Sam woke up way too early. He was energized. Finally something exciting.
He pondered over his outfit for hours, and then many more about his hair. And then some about what they would talk about once they were done. It was kind of a hangout, not technically a date, but sam tried to think of it that way. In the end he'd decided on a plaid red shirt over a black turtleneck. It was getting colder, and he was intent on fall fashion.
They'd agreed to meet at 2, which left plenty of time for overthinking on both their ends. Kris was trying to justify how it wasn't a date, and Sam on how to make it one. When the time came, he drove slowly, trying to be fashionably late. He still ended up being only 5 minutes late, but he took it.
He knocked, expecting Kris's mom to open the door, but instead was greeted by Kris. His face was warm and seemed almost happy to see him. Sam was cheered by that thought.
"Hey," sam said. And because he couldn't help himself he asked, "are your parents home?"
Kris shook his head. Then he sighed when he realized his mistake. No one else was home, making it just the two of them. He felt the tension. Did this count as sexual tension, he wondered. Then he pushed the thought away. Had there ever been this with Jana?
She'd always been pretty. He could see that, it was simple. But was she pretty to him? He never admitted he didn't want to do anything sexual with her. He drew the line at kissing. Was his lack of desire bad?
He welcomed Sam inside and they headed upstairs to his room. Another mistake. Both of them sitting on his bed, alone.
Sam was cheerful this was looking more and more like a date. He wondered whether he would have to go in for a kiss or would he? But for now he focused on biology, and how painfully boring it was, even as Kris's alluring voice explained it.
The hours passed quickly. And rather stiffly, sam thought. They hadn't done anything but study. It had been almost two hours of endless bio, and they'd done a few exercises as well as testing him on his work. Being honest, Sam was not bad at science. It wasn't his best, but he understood it enough.
"I mostly get it," Sam said. "You explained it good."
Kris was satisfied to hear it. "Great."
The silence stretched, and Sam sighed. He knew what he had to do.
"Thanks. Um, I guess I should go now." He began to gather his books.
"No," Kris said, too fast. Sam repressed a smile. "Are you hungry?"
"Sure," he said. Definitely date now. "Want to order something?"
Kris shrugged. "Or I could cook. My mom won't be home until 10, so you can stay."
"Wow. You can cook?"
"Not that well. I'll try."
That was an understatement. Kris most definitely could cook. He made pizzas from scratch, and then later cheesecake. Sam just enjoyed watching Kris work. How he created something from nothing, and those big strong hands...Sam tried not to think of what else those hands could do.
They ate mostly in silence and then watched a movie. Sam was satisfied in the night, yet very unsatisfied. Surely this was the moment for something to...happen?
Kris's mind was going in circles. I'm not gay, and Jana were two main threads in his mind. By now though, laying on the couch beside Sam, his brain had a third thread; Sam. He wondered how he felt. Was he having fun?
It was nearing 9, and Kris brought a blanket to cover himself. It was always cold in his house. He began to put it on himself and looked at sam, and gave him a bit of it. He didn't want to be rude.
He realized this was the wrong thing. This invited new energy, and as he slid closer to sam, he could feel the heat of his leg against his, could hear his every heartbeat and breath. And yet all he wanted to do was get closer.
Sam's mind was racing. Yes! They were so close they were touching, and Kris had slowly slid his head on Sam's shoulder. They rested like that, close, not paying attention to the movie anymore.
When Sam slide his hand on Kris's thigh, he made no move. His breath became very still, and he was tempted to look into Sam's eyes. What was he doing? But he knew exactly what was happening. He didn't want to stop it. Usually with Jana, he felt the need to shy away from anything like that, to stop it before it started.
Now, as Kris looked into Sam's eyes, he sent him a silent message. Of what, he didn't know.
Sam knew. He slid his hand further, and it rested lightly against Kris's member. Kris felt tingly. And all of a sudden, he felt brave. Who cares about Jana? She wasn't here.
Sam wasn't expecting anything when Kris dove to kiss him. Sam felt a jolt of shock and then joy. He did like him after all, he thought.
With his hand gently caressing Kris's cock, they kissed and Kris couldn't help but compare it to Jana. He thought with a tinge of sadness, she didn't even compare. As Sam's hand went higher, it because clear what he would do next and Kris braced himself in anticipation.
Sam looked at him finally, waiting for an objection. There was none. He quietly went in a pumping motion and Kris was hit with the jolt of instant pleasure. Kris moaned quietly. Sam felt surreal in this moment and wondered whether they were now considered a 'thing' or would they continually ignore each other at school?
Kris was so close. Each pump pushed him further to the edge.  And suddenly, as the tension rose, an alarming doorbell pierced the room.
Kris almost lost it. He looked at the time and it was only after nine. He jumped out of Sam's hand and quickly pulled his pants and boxers up. He threw the blanket far across the room and dashed to the door. He stopped by the mirror. He looked flushed. Sam looked around worriedly. He wiped his hand on a tissue. Why did the universe have to ruin their moment?
His mom was a stern looking woman. She seemed unimpressed, Sam noted, and she looked a bit like Kris, if kris didn't have the warmth of his blue eyes.
"Who's this?" She said, disapproving. She'd be perhaps even more disapproving if she'd seen what had happened a moment ago.
"I'm sam," sam said, lightly. "Kris was helping me with Science. I'm leaving, now."
She sniffed. "Late for studying."
Kris shook his head. "Why are you so early?"
"They let me out half an hour sooner. Did you eat?"
Kris nodded.
"Your son is an amazing cook," Sam interjected. She said nothing.
Kris wondered if his mom would ever read between the lines, and see what was going on. He hoped she wouldn't. After today, he couldn't deny feelings for Sam. After only two weeks his whole life had changed. He didn't want to stop it now. Sam made him feel...different. Complete. This was the beginning of something.