Burning love

Chapter 1

The music was blasting, and the colored lights made everything seem unreal. The air was sweaty and warm, and Sam could feel every inch on his skin. It was a Sunday, and normally he might be sulking. But his parents had made a point of complaining how little he went out, regardless of his lack of friends. They wondered why.
Perhaps his type of fun was not what his parents wanted. When they said to go out today, they probably didn't mean a gay club.
Regardless, Sam felt good to be out, and among people. Hot people. He looked around and went from dancing to one guy to the next, across the dance floor. Each one smiled and whispered in his ear, but it made him feel nervous not sexual. He moved on.
Unaware, that standing a few feet from him was Kris. Kris was buff with a large frame, and he happened to go to Sam's school. He was standing in the corner, a bit shocked he'd come here. This was never his scene. But after the way he felt lately, he had to try it. He'd been going through it with his girlfriend Jana, and now he was here. He wondered if this was considered cheating.
He was a good kid in school, plus he had the hottest girlfriend. Shouldn't he be happy? He had a few close friends and had fun. So why was he here?
The truth was he was questioning himself. What if...he was gay? It had started with constant Zac effron movies and ended with gay porn. But sitting here, among all the gay men he could want, he didn't feel anything. Satisfied, he began to leave.
And then he came.
"Hey," Sam said brightly. He was grinding against Kris's bulge which had grown now.
"Fuck," Kris whispered under his breath. Why couldn't things be easy?
"I'm not supposed to be here," he said hurriedly and began to leave. Sam was confused, and only then realized who it was when he looked Kris dead in the eye.
"Omg." Sam wasn't out of the closet, but he was pretty sure everyone already knew.
Kris looked back and began to make his way through the remaining crowd.
"Kris? Kris Rogers?"
Kris turned around reluctantly.
Sam looked confused, but then realized. He was just doing the same thing he was.
"You don't want to...dance?" He said unsurely.
Kris thought for a moment. Sam had already seen him. And maybe he wouldn't tell if they were in on this secret together.
"Fine," he said. Sam outstretched his hand and cris took it. They resumed dancing against each other, the tension increasing. Kris felt the need to explain himself, like he'd been caught red handed.
"You know I have a girlfriend," Kris struggled to say under the music.
Sam did know this and nodded. "You're closeted?"
Kris shook his head furiously. He didn't know how to explain it.
"Why else would you be here?" He laughed lightly. "It's fine I wont tell."
Kris breathed a sigh of relief. Suddenly something occurred to him. "Why are you here?"
"Bored, I guess." Sam shrugged. Cris felt a little relief that he wasn't the only one here.
"You wont tell a single soul right?" He said cautiously.
Sam shook his head. Kris turned towards him for a moment then let his arch fall near Sam's crotch. He realized what he was doing quickly but couldn't stop.
"Pinkie promise?" Kris sounded childish to his own ears, but he didn't care.
Sam smiled, and cris found himself smiling too. Then he thought of Jana, and frowned lightly.
They held pinkies and lingered for a moment, then resumed dancing, silent. Kris wasn't sure how long they'd been at the club, but at least half had cleared when they were about to leave. Kris wasn't sure whether to offer him a ride, so he didn't.
"See you at school," Sam laughed and drove off. Kris started his car and thought of what he was going to tell Jana later.
****
Kris knew it was a sign when he woke up thinking of yesterday with Sam. What was wrong with him? Jana had called multiple times, and he'd ignored her but today he had planned to see her and wasn't sure what to say. He couldn't just break up and for no reason. And he wasn't sure if he was even gay. Maybe this was how it was in all boy's heads, just they didn't admit it. Or maybe Sam just was different, the way he'd felt the other day...
"Kris! Jana's here." His mom yelled.
Shit, he thought under his breath. He wasn't ready, and he hadn't mentally prepared yet. He quickly brushed his hair neatly and put on pants. Grabbing his phone, he raced downstairs.
His mom looked at him disapprovingly. That's the only way she ever looked at him. Or anyone for that matter. Since their father left, she'd changed, and nothing seemed to make her happy. Her son possibly being gay would make it worse.
He stepped up to ana and kissed her on the cheek, saying nothing.
"You're kissing me like I'm your sister," she laughed, but her eyes accused.
His mom shot them one last glance then returned to the kitchen. "Have fun."
Kris put on his boots and jacket, and immediately regretted it when he got outside, into the boiling heat.
"Hey, baby," Jana said happily.
"Hey," Kris said. They started walking away from his house, and Jana grew bold.
"So why did you ignore me yesterday?" She seemed steady, but he knew how she could be.
"Uh, work went late."
"Lair." She was concealing her anger well, maybe since they were in public. Kris said nothing, hoping this would pass.
"I called your house too, you know. You parents said you were out." Her eyes narrowed. Kris now really looked at her and contemplated telling the truth. She was so beautiful, with her silky dark hair and light eyes. She was the perfect girl in some ways, besides her issues with anger. And the fact was that she was something cris could never like. He decided to let his feelings go. He was with this amazing girl, why did he want to ruin it?
"I wasn't with anyone." She stared in shock. He then realized this was not the right thing to say. That wasn't what she had asked.
"Shit," he breathed. "Listen. I was sad, and I took a long walk around. Is that a crime?"
"Why were you sad, baby?" She said mostly apologetically.
He shook his head. "Family stuff."
"Your dad?"
He really wished she'd stop prying. He nodded so she knew the topic was now closed.
She smiled at him then. Ana always knew she could trust Kris, and plus she was the best he'd ever had. He couldn't cheat on her. This was a known fact. If he ever did, Liam or Marcus would be waiting for their breakup.
"I know how to make you feel better," she said. She grabbed his hand, and gave him a look. Why was everything sexual to her? Kris looked away, disgusted.
"We're talking about my dad and you want to blow me?" He said, too loudly. People walking by could've heard.
Ana made her face innocent. "I meant we can talk about it."
"Whatever. Stop it, I'm serious."
Jana rolled her eyes, unapologetically. "You never want to do anything. You're so boring."
"I'm sorry I'm not interesting enough to get blowed in public." He was talking fast.
"If not you, then LiamI guess."
Kris turned in shock and slight disgust. "Really? Stop."
"You're such a bitch boy," she said, sounding fake in her laugh. Kris walked in silence to the convenience store nearby, and bought himself snacks.
He was ripping them open and Jana dipped her hand in.
"Have you ever thought of doing it with a girl?" I asked suddenly.
She shook her head, then started laughing. "For you, I'll think about it."
Kris nodded. "But never by yourself?"
Jana wondered what weighted Kris's mind and why he was mostly silent this whole walk. They made their way to the mall which was a short while away, and continued their conversation.
"No. That's gay, right." Jana shook her head, dismissing it.
"Right." Kris sighed.
"Why? You wanna see me with a girl?" She thought about it. "I'm down."
Kris shook his head. "Never mind."
"Then why?" Jana was getting annoyed. What's the point of a boyfriend if you never do anything together? Besides kissing, and that one failed hand job, they'd barely done anything together. Was he religious? Or just shy? Maybe he felt the need to respect her. Fuck that. She'd been with multiple guys, he didn't need to worry about that.
"Like what's with the gay thing, babe?" She asked again. He looked into her eyes.
"You gay or something," she said, giggling. Kris looked petrified.
"Just kidding, don't get your ego hurt."
Kris had been told he looks gay or had that vibe by many people, and now his own girlfriend. But he'd never paid any attention to it since it clearly wasn't true. Now he wasn't so sure.
She took a chunk of his chips and they wandered into some makeup store. Cris knew this could take hours, and the conversation took a subtle turn, about non essentials like school and his friends. He zoned out and Jana talked, and his mind kept wandering to Sam. He mentally slapped himself for thinking about him, but he couldn't stop. On the other side of town, near the ravine, Sam was sitting by himself by the rocks, thinking the same thing. But then Jana finally chose a lipstick, and Sam finally got up to eat, and the moment was gone.
****
Sam was picking his outfit for tomorrow. All his life he'd been wearing what everyone else wore, the subtle vibe of their school. He'd always been very popular, friends with all the girls and their sporty boyfriends. No one knew he was gay, of course. He never gave off anything. He dressed as he should, didn't flirt with the guys and had a girlfriend at the beginning of high school. He'd never forget Margot, since she helped him realize who he was. This year though, was the beginning of something new. He was no longer the popular football player, but just a guy who was probably gay and that was enough to keep people away, minus Margot. He'd hidden his whole life, but now he decided differently. Everyone would be shocked when he came in, new and improved. Only Margot knew, and she would be blooming with pride.
He went through his closet longer than expected and had to run for this bus. People stared, since his normally casual outfit was now a neon green hoodie and leggings. They were a cute black pair that made his ass look good. He wore subtle earrings and many rings. He'd brushed his hair smoothly to the side, and applied a bit of foundation, as not to over do it. He had also put on lipstick, but decided it too much and wiped it off.
"What happened to you?" Snickered Marcus. He was sitting in front of Sam, and until today, had been his close guy friend. He had decided he'd risk it. If they were really friends, he'd be ok with it.
Sam smiled. "I went to a club yesterday."
He laughed. "Was it a gay one or something? You look like you're actually a fag."
Sam's lips dried. He decided maybe it was better to stay silent.
The bus ride to school was quiet on his end, nonchalant teasing on Liam's end. When the ride ended, Sam ran to the bathroom before entering class. He sighed and thought for a moment. Against his better judgment, he pulled off his green hoodie. He left the stall and looked at himself now, minus hoodie in a plain white tee. He looked more straight, he concluded. He took his hoodie from under his arm and went to his locker. Today was his first day and he wouldn't be upset.
He fumbled with his lock for a few moments when someone came next to him. He was also struggling with his lock. Sam almost laughed and made a joke but then he saw who it was.
"Your locker's here?" Sam asked.
"Obviously," Kris said, annoyed. He was more confident outside the club, apparently.
He struggled for a second and opened it. Sam was still struggling, so Kris reached over and helped him.
"What's your combination?"
They were so close together. Kris's hand was low against the lock. Sam stared for second into his green eyes then looked away and told him his password. The lock popped open on the third try and Sam muttered his thanks.
"See you in class, maybe?" Sam said.
"I have math first."
Sam nodded. "I have science." They both smiled briefly and walked together.
As they made their way upstairs to where both classes were, one of Marcus's friends snuck up on Sam.
"Hey!" Liam said and then took in the tights.
"Hey what's up?" Sam asked.
"Bro, look at your pants. What are you wearing?" He laughed.
"They don't look bad," cris said. Sam felt gratitude and almost smiled again at him.
"Whatever, you should change," Liam snickered. "Bye, I have math."
Sam didn't even mention cris was heading up to math as well. He wanted to spend this time alone.
"Your pants are cute," Kris said, suddenly embarrassed.
"Thanks," Sam squeaked awkwardly. They walked the rest of the way in silence. Kris felt as if everyone could see their tension. He hoped Jana couldn't see it.