Love Bomb [Namkook]

11: Mini Relapse

Jungkook was excited all week. Namjoon bought a firepit for decoration in the garden, and purchased an extra large tent for them to share. He gifted Jungkook a sleeping bag the color royal yellow. (Yes, it's a color. It's a softer and deeper yellow, but it's hard to describe with words.)

"Are you ready to start setting up for tomorrow?" Namjoon asked.

"Yes!" Jungkook answered, quickly following Namjoon out of the room.

They went to the backyard and started getting wood and preparing the firepit. They planned to do the backyard camping tomorrow.

Together they picked the spot they wanted the tent to go, and they cleared it of rocks and sticks.

They put the tent and their sleeping bags by the back door, ready to be taken out and set up the next day.

They made a list of snacks for Namjoon to buy that night for them to enjoy while camping.

Namjoon helped Jungkook pack a small bag that had pajamas and clothes for a day, and a brush and a toothbrush, and anything else he would need camping outside for a night, so that they wouldn't have to go back inside.

After dinner when all the preparations were done, Jungkook laid down to sleep in his bed. He was so excited that it took him two hours to calm his mind enough to drift off to sleep.

But then the next morning hit him like a ton of bricks.

Sometimes, someone could be really happy one day, one of the best days they've ever had, and the next day all of the happiness is gone, as if they used all the happiness they had the day before and had none left. This is how Jungkook felt.

He was confused and frustrated, because he had been looking forward to camping all week, and he didn't have any reasons to be unhappy. There was absolutely no reasons for him to feel so heavy, yet he couldn't convince himself to sit up, let alone get out of bed that morning.

He felt so tired, despite getting around eight hours of sleep that night. He felt so heavy despite his pajamas being made out of a light material. And he was no longer in the mood to go camping, despite how much he really wanted to.

And even though he felt so discontented and discouraged, as if he couldn't bear to get out of bed ever again, what he was the most upset about was that he knew he would be letting Namjoon down.

When he stayed depressed in bed before, no one necessarily wanted him around. But now, Namjoon had been happily smiling all week, talking about everything he's excited to do with Jungkook that day.

He was afraid that he was going to make Namjoon sad, or that Namjoon would have to camp out by himself and be lonely. He was afraid that Namjoon would be mad or disappointed in him.

Gosh, disappointment is the absolute worst. That would no doubt be the worst outcome.

So despite Jungkook feeling too tired and physically and mentally drained to get up, he couldn't fall into one of his depression naps, because his anxiety was expecting Namjoon's arrival at any moment.

His heart was quivering in fear.

He started thinking that he knew exactly what Namjoon was going to say when he got there, and he started talking down on himself, creating the scenarios in his head, even hearing Namjoon's voice.

He's going to be so disappointed in you.

You're so lazy. Staying in bed all day is so unhealthy and disgusting.

Such a disappointment.

Can't even fake a smile for a day to make Namjoon happy? Pathetic.