Love Bomb [Namkook]

19: His Trauma

Jungkook had never been in a relationship before, so he had no idea what kind of pace he wanted. All he knew was that he was suddenly getting attention and affection that he had never gotten before.

And he liked it. Maybe a bit too much.

He wanted to do it all.

He imagined weekly date nights with Namjoon, beachside walks in the moonlight, cuddling on the couch with a movie. He thought of helping Namjoon with his work and making him proud. He dreamed of sharing a bedroom and murmuring 'I love you's quietly to each other when they had trouble falling asleep.

He desired to give himself to Namjoon fully one day, and spend countless nights passionately making love to each other.

Namjoon made him the happiest he's ever been, and he never wanted to let go. He couldn't imagine trying to find happiness with anyone else.

He wanted nothing more than to dive right in head first and give the relationship everything he's got.

But he couldn't.

Bring touched in a sexual way, and almost every form of kissing, sent him into a panic. So he was avoiding everything.

Holding hands? That was fine.

A peck on the cheek? That was fine.

Namjoon holding his hips? Panic. He pulled away.

Namjoon aiming a kiss at his mouth? Panic. He turned his face away.

Jungkook was really frustrated with his emotions and his anxieties, but everything was too fresh and he was still too broken. He loved Namjoon, but he wasn't quite ready for even some of the simplest steps, afraid he would be sent into a panic attack.

But more than anything...

Namjoon was getting frustrated with all the dodging.

Namjoon was a patient man. He could wait outside of a building for days to spy on an enemy. He could torture someone for weeks until they finally break and talk. He could go undercover for months to infiltrate any organization.

But his patience was running thin with each time Jungkook turned away.

He was confused by Jungkook's actions, and he was more frustrated than anything else at the fact that he couldn't figure him out.

Jungkook was the sweetest boy, always wanting to be near him, always the first to initiate hugs and the last to let go. Constantly flirting with Namjoon, and being a little tease on accident.

But the moment Namjoon tried to pursue him, he ran away.

Every.

Single.

Time.

Namjoon thought for a moment that maybe Jungkook was doing it on purpose to make him desperate. But one look into Jungkook's big, innocent eyes completely dispelled that theory.

Namjoon continued to ponder over all the possibilities of what the problem could be, sitting in his office and going over plans. Maybe what he needed was an outside perspective.

"Baby, could you go pick up some papers from the copy room and get me a coffee?" Namjoon turned to Jungkook, who was sitting on a chair in the other corner of the room.

"Of course!" Jungkook hopped up and made his way out of the door.

As soon as the door closed, Namjoon picked up his desk phone and dialed the phone to the next office down. "Jin, could you come to my office for a moment? Thank you."