hey little girl // dnf // tw

-Chapter 8-

Hey little girl, you'll never believe
there's a ghost inside of you, hidden too deep

-georges pov-

"wanna get ready to go?" dream asked.

"okay" i said, trying to sound happy as best i can. i think by that, he meant wash our faces, since we were coated with tears. as i walked toward the bathroom, clay followed behind me, picking up his bags to put in the guest bedroom. as he turned, we ran into each other, and i blushed profusely. i stared at him for a moment, before deciding to step into the bathroom so he could get by. 

as he walked by he watched me close the door and locked. suddenly i heard a knock. "hey could you... not lock the door please? i won't walk in while you're in, i just want to be able to help you if anything happens". there was a moment of silence. that's kinda creepy... wait no, he's just trying to help. i unlocked the door, and then i heard him continue walking. 

i stared at myself in the mirror. i'm a mess. my face was super dry from tears, and my eyes were puffy and red. clay saw me like this? how could he stand me?  i can barely see myself without getting nauseous. i turned on the sink and rinsed off my face. after drying it, i peered at the sweatshirt i was wearing. i loved it. it was purple with some random logo on it, and it was super comfy, since it's clay's. wait, why does it being clay's make it better. i thought to myself, is it flirting for him to give me his shirt? surely not, it's just because i was literally having a breakdown... do i want it to be flirting? i pushed away my thoughts reluctantly. just as i opened the bathroom door, i found clay right outside. he was frightened by me opening the door, and it was obvious i wasn't meant to see him. "oh hey george, w-whatcha doin?" he asked nervously. 

"just washing my face. how about you?"

"oh i uh was just coming to knock and tell you i'm ready"

"oh.. okay same, let's go" i walked to the door and put my shoes on. i paused.

"shit uh, i don't have a car..." clay smiled. "it's fine we got the rental"

i felt a moment of relief as we headed outside. i looked around. "clay noticed. "what are you looking at?" i looked down. "i uh, haven't been outside in a bit." 

he looked confused. "why?"

"i dont know if i should tell you..." "you can tell me anything georgie"

i hesitated, "i haven't been out in about 2 months because i wasn't allowed."

he looked angry. "he didn't let you leave your own house?" "it's his house" 

"no george, as a couple it should've been both your house."

he motioned me toward the car to go inside. "i'm driving?" i laughed at him. he looked up, confused, until it hit him that everythings "backwards" in the UK. he looked down shyly and switched sides. "was there any other restrictions on you?" he asked as he turned on the car. i felt embarrassed that i had let this man take control of my life. "i had to ask to go outside, no phone after he fell asleep, don't eat until told, he hid the medicine..." "don't eat until TOLD? what the fuck? no wonder you've grown thin." i looked down as we pulled into a parking lot full of food places. he got out and i tried to guess which building he was headed. he opened the door to panda express, and for the first time in a while, i was excited about food. 

he came out moments later with bags of chinese boxes, and the smell filled the car as he got in and put it on my lap. we began driving again, until we pulled into a park looking out at the sunset. he took a blanket out of the truck and i carried the food over. we sat down on the blanket and he started unpacking the food. i stared at him in admiration, until he looked back and i caught myself. he wheezed, "why are you looking at ME? we are in front of the sunset and you're staring at me?" 

before i could think, i said "yeah but it's not as pretty as you". i trailed off at the end, realizing what i had done. he started blushing. "oh i- that- clay.." he looked back up at me. "don't worry, you're pretty too". i felt myself blushing now. what the fuck is happening? is this flirting? well i started it, he probably doesn't like me in that way. my mood suddenly changed. do i want him to like me like that? I suddenly realized all he had done for me. being my friend for so long, everything that happened today, constantly supporting me, especially when i came out, always reminding me that he loves m-... he loves me. did he mean it the way i mean it? or the way i would if i ever said it back. i realized then that, i wasn't afraid of saying i love you and not meaning it... i had been afraid of meaning it. i didn't think it through before i threw myself in his arms, nearly knocking the food out of his hand. "OH-... hi george" he slowly hugged me back, being really gentle. i pulled away shyly. "sorry i- i didn't really plan to do that"

"...that's fine. hug me whenever you like." what? is that an invitation to something else? that's almost like, saying he's mine... no- this doesn't mean anything but more hugs for me. "thank you" i said, and then noticed how awkward i was being. he noticed that i wasn't sure what to do, so he pushed the bag toward me. "have anything, i kinda got a bunch of stuff..." i opened a box and just decided on that one. it was some sort of chicken, i didn't really care. i grabbed a fork and stuck it in. 

i then looked out at the sunset. it really is pretty. i wish i could see all the colors in it. "clay?" i asked. "yes george?" "can you tell me what colors are in the sunset right now?" 

he smiled. "of course uhm, it goes from reds and oranges down to greens and blues, it's pretty much a rainbow" i got excited. "i love rainbows!" 

"i love when your face lights up" he said, only to be really quiet a few moments later. "i love you." he started eating again to hide his embarrassment. "...i love you too." he looked up quickly. "what did you say?" i felt almost guilty at how surprised he was at my reply. "i- i love you too clay". his mouth opened slightly and he raised his eyebrows, as he was trying to control his excitement. he quickly set his box down and suddenly pulled me into him. i was practically sitting on his lap when our faces were about an inch apart. "is this okay?" he asked. i nodded and leaned in. it was... so warm. for the first time, i didn't feel gross. i didn't feel guilty. i didn't want it to end. he pulled back, still resting his hand in my hair. "whats wrong?" "what?" "why are you crying?" i hadn't even noticed that a tear had slipped down my face. "i-... i've never been asked for permission to be kissed. and i've never liked a kiss." 

he smiled softly. "i'm sorry you went through that... can we do that again?" right as soon as i heard those words i pulled him in again. when it was over, he had fallen back a little from me leaning into him. "s-sorry", i laughed nervously, tugging on his shirt to pull him back up. he wiped my face. "what does this mean, by the way?" i asked, hoping his answer was mutual. "well i'm yours. i've honestly been waiting for that, it's up to you." 

"are you kidding? of course! i had no fucking clue you liked me back" 

"oddly enough", he chuckled, "i realized earlier, but i think i've always loved you george." 

"i love you too" i answered. somehow he was still surprised when i responded. he looked down trying to hide his smile, noticing i hadn't ate. "georgeee fucking eat" he said looking down at my box. i hesitantly picked it up, staring at it. i could tell he noticed. i shoved a bite into my mouth to make him stop staring. he smiled delighted and ate as well. i felt like a child. having to be watched. even in an abusive relationship they knew they had to watch me. wait, relationship... "clay... should i text him? i really don't want to but we never officially ended it." clay thought for a moment. "i think you should. he needs to know that he doesn't have control over you anymore. and if he decided to come back, i'll be here."

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jesus, sorry for the long chapter 0_0 i hope you enjoyed it though

junvrjcafnefkjnckejnf n e wayz :P

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