Writing Championships #4

Amber Antags

Words: Crushing, dreams, ignorance, potato

It felt crushing.

It really did.

It felt crushing when you try to be funny because that's all you are, that's all your worth, but then no one else would find you funny.

You're annoying, stupid, useless, dreams crushed, and oh.

Grian felt all these things, and it weighed on his soul as tears and wind tore into his vision, hurtling through the black abyss.

Water and dolphins lapped below, and he was doing the only other thing he was good at, flying, flying, flying away from his problems.

Coward. 

It wasn't real, but the words hurt.

Words hurt so much, Mumbo and Iskall's felt like slaps across the face but slaps hurt so much less this left bruises on his soul and on his pride.

Everything fucking backfired on him, and words hit like punches to the gut

Annoying.

It hurt.

Burden.

Make it stop.

Grian gritted his teeth in pain. He just wanted to get away. He hurtled through the sky so fast, so far away, nothing could ever escape the voices in his head.

He wished he could be free like the dolphins.

He wished he didn't have to feel like the fish.

He didn't want to feel, because it was crushing him. All the hopes and dreams that he had felt for himself, everything that he wanted to happen, it didn't matter.

He couldn't be worth anything ever.

And he realized that he wasn't worth a single thing as he kept his head high, letting tears drop into the ocean below. The stars blurred together and twinkled in the dew drops.

He wasn't worth anything compared to something so big.

And then he felt something rip and tear and crack, and suddenly his stomach dropped.

And he was falling, falling, falling, wind whistling beneath him as he stared up at the moon.

His limbs were out of control as they spiraled, and his back hit the water like cold cement. His head shocked with cold as his body was submerged.

Still.

Silent.

Dust floated in the water, showing how dirty it was really.

But Grian could still see the moon.

Grian had always wanted to go to the moon.

He wondered what it was like up there, flying higher than anybody ever could. He dreamed of clouds and puffy things and air rushing into his lungs.

But for the first time now, he didn't want to fly.

He wanted to sink and he wanted to fall and to close his eyes and not have to fight for anything, to fight for the surface.

The moon still shone as he sunk away, and the cold settled into his bones and set and froze him.

Underwater, you can't hear the chatter of the dolphins.

Underwater, you can't hear the whistle of the wind.

Underwater, you can't hear the birds chirping beside you.

But underwater you can still hear the voices in your head.

And Grian closed his eyes under the water, and he let those voices sink into him like the cold.

The voices dragged him under.

He wanted to stay like this forever.

It felt like eternal sleep, and it weighed down on him, but at the same time, it lifted weights off of his shoulders.

It felt like a dream.

Mute and beautiful and still, and his arms floated in the captured light.

But at some point.

You have to wake up.

Because some part of him still grasped at the strings.

That was part of being human, I guess.

The whole not giving up thing.

It's our blessing and our curse, but goddamn it moves mountains and it makes dreams.

So Grian opened his eyes.

It wasn't his fault that he had broken their redstone. He was told it was good and nothing more. He thought they had it working. They had it all figured out.

But all because he had thrown a potato in to test it, they had blamed him for breaking it.

It wasn't his fault his ignorance had broken their complex redstone machine he had asked them to build, it was their fault. They didn't explain anything to him!

Grian slowly realized the problem he was in. About to just let himself drown as their words had gotten to them, but he didn't want to do so.

Drowning yourself for potatoing complicated redstone all because your coworkers were hurting your feelings?

He wasn't ready to go yet.

He still had plenty to do.

He wanted to finish his base, he wanted to pull more pranks, heck, he wanted to get pranked even.

Most importantly, he wanted to see his friends smile, laughing at jokes he had made.

And despite them possibly not wanting him near their redstone anymore, he wanted to learn. Mainly so his ignorance didn't cause him anymore pain.

He started to thrash around, trying to get his bearings and be able to swim again.

And bubbles floated up to the surface, and he could see the moon once more.

And he broke the surface.

Score: 9