Save Myself // Larry Stylinson

Chapter 15

Chapter 15: XV

Summary:

I got to see Ed Sheeran live this past Sunday and it was the best ever and I accidentally fell in love with James Blunt.

I am going away again next week for a three day vacation to Montreal to see Ed again... but I'm going to be with another friend who isn't a writer, so I probably will be way behind for my next update but please forgive me!

I hope you enjoy this chapter!!

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When Louis pulled up to Zayn's flat, he was waiting outside, sucking on a cigarette (Louis had yet to see him without a smoke between his fingers, even when he wasn't smoking, there was always an unlit one dangling there, Zayn waiting to make a getaway to light it). Zayn smiled as Louis climbed out of his car, tossing the butt of his cigarette onto the ground and leading Louis to his tiny flat, four floors up. It was kind of amazing to Louis that Zayn even had the lung capacity to climb so many stairs.

When the door opened, Louis knew straight away just how Zayn the flat was. It was messy, but not dirty. There were no dishes in the sink but Louis also suspected that Zayn didn't often eat much more than cigarettes. There were canvases scattered in almost every empty space there was. They were lined up along the stark white walls, which was a strange contrast. The whole flat was white, but there were half used tubes of paint on every surface. Zayn's flat was one tiny room, his couch leaned up against the foot of his perfectly made bed (Louis also reckoned Zayn didn't sleep much either). On the coffee table was a couple of text books and his sketch books and an endless amount of pencils and charcoal. In the centre, of course, was an ashtray that was threatening to overflow. Next to it was the aforementioned bottle of brandy and a half empty glass.

Being around Zayn wasn't the same as Harry. Louis was still awkward, still nervous that he'd make himself look like an idiot, but there was something calming about Zayn, too, because he didn't care much. There probably wasn't much that Louis could do to bother Zayn. He was a pretty generally unaffected person.

Zayn dropped onto the couch quickly, gesturing for Louis to join him. Louis sat on the opposite end of the couch and watched as Zayn relaxed, pulling up his feet and digging for a fresh cigarette. Louis was sitting kind of rigid, and it wasn't that he didn't want to be there. He was flattered beyond belief, but he just didn't know how to be there. Zayn watched him while he lit his cigarette and took his first drag.

"You're always pretty uptight, aren't you?"

"Um," was the only response Louis came up with.

"I mean, whatever," he said on his next exhale, "seems like you're less uptight with Harry, though,"

Louis nodded once, "I guess,"

Zayn smiled then, and it was small and barely touched his eyes, but Louis could see that it was genuine, "You and Harry are good together," he said offhandedly.

"What do you mean?" asked Louis quickly, because while a part of him was excited that someone had noticed and that he'd said together and not 'Harry is good for you', because Louis knew that much and a really big part of him wanted to be good for Harry, too.

"I mean you're a smart match?" Zayn raised his voice at the end, now looking at Louis like he was the confused one, "you get on, like, as a couple and all,"

"Uh," Louis stumbled, "we're not...like, dating,"

He could feel his cheeks flaming and the really strange part of it was because Zayn wasn't the first person who had asked this question. Louis wasn't really sure why it kept happening. Was it just because he and Harry were both kind of obviously gay? Did people just assume that two people like he and Harry couldn't just be friends? Louis wasn't sure why his stomach felt so strange with the accusation.